MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!

Name: inesignorance (Signed) · Date: 03/12/10 23:24 · For: Chapter 7: The First Day
haha! i loved the end of this chapter, james is so cute. you're an amazing writer, well done, keep it up, i love this story. (:

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you liked it. I'm enamored with James as well ;)

Name: GinnyPotterFan26 (Signed) · Date: 02/28/10 20:54 · For: The Epilogue
I have thoroughly enjoyed reading this story. I would like to think that, had I been reading fanfiction from this site three or four years ago, I would have followed the story, waiting faithfully for each new chapter.
I really liked the personalities that you gave to James, Lily, Sirius, and Emmeline. Despite the few things that disagreed with Book 7 (an unavoidable circumstance), I thought that you did a wonderful job taking what Rowling put forth for these characters and expanding it to fill the rather large character roles you created. We've always heard that Harry is so much like his parents but were never really given any support to understand what exactly that meant. I thought you did a great job showing us that, and an even better job developing the character of Emmeline Vance to more than just a member of the Order.
So many of the emotions in this story seemed not only plausible but real. I liked that you didn't let a desire to publish faster hamper the inclusion of the small details that added to this feeling of...well, of a kind of reality.
It is obvious how much your writing improved over the course of the years, and I think you did James and Lily more than justice with this story. Thank you so much for sticking with it to the end!

Author's Response: Thanks very much! I'm glad you liked it and could appreciate the emotions and the development of characters -- two things I always strive for! I really appreciate your reading and reviewing and even editing old mistakes for me (I plan on making your changes as soon as I have a few free hours!)

Name: GinnyPotterFan26 (Signed) · Date: 02/25/10 22:22 · For: Chapter 19: Mr. Masselli
I figured I'd review here, for a brief change, since I've been putting my reviews of the last few chapters in the revisions.

Ah ha! Lewis! Where the heck did James pull it from though?

Mr. Masselli! What a ridiculous man! How could he do that to Lily. But at least Dumbledore has her back. What's happened to Emma now though? II'm thinking that this has something to do with her recent kick of self-inflicted injury.

I really like where this story has taken the characters, and I'm excited for where they're going (even if I don't know exactly what's there waiting for them).

Author's Response: Mr. Masselli is pretty awful, isn't he? I'm glad you're excited for what's to come! Thanks for the review :)

Name: GinnyPotterFan26 (Signed) · Date: 02/24/10 17:26 · For: Chapter 10: Peanut and Prongs
Another good chapter. I like that you can so easily transition between fluff and something that moves the story forward. Will Lily figure out that James is an Animagus? What will her reaction be to his coming home so late? Might he reveal it to her in some desperate act of heroism? Exciting things surely await in chapters ahead.
I should probably be doing more constructive criticism in these reviews, though it's kind of hard, when the biggest problems I'm finding are small typos. I really don't have the knack for plot or characters that you seem to. But I'll keep reading and reviewing all the same.

And by the way, I'll start looking for typos and things. Unless you have another suggestion, if you could provide me a way to contact you, I can email Word documents with corrections.

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you're excited for what's to come -- I hope it doesn't disappoint! I'll send you a message over mugglenet with my e-mail if you'd like to point out typos (I don't want the populace at large with my e-mail!), and I'll fix them when I can. (I do have a break coming up!)

Name: GinnyPotterFan26 (Signed) · Date: 02/24/10 16:21 · For: Chapter 9: You Lose
Young Vernon? I can't wait. Is he yet a whale of a man, or does that happen under Petunia's doting. Hmm...I guess I'll have to read on.

I'm kinda wondering how James didn't see that one coming...but that's alright, something to that effect had to be done, and what more powerful choice than Sirius could Lily have dangled in front of him.

I feel like this is the end of chapter 10, yet it's only just getting started. I thought at the beginning that Lily's kidnapping would be part of the main conflict, but it seems that it might be just another dark event leading up to something bigger. Again, I can't wait to read on and find out what happens.

If that sequel ever gets started, I'd love to read it (after I finish this one, of course) and beta if you need it. I made my decision to read this one based on its Quicksilver Quill, and I can already see why it won. Nice work!

Author's Response: You do get to meet a young Vernon, but I ended up cutting the engagement party. James probably should have seen that coming, but I think in this fic I have a little more oblivious to that sort of thing. As for Lily's kidnapping being major . . . it will be. Trust me. VERY big. But it sort of gets side-lined, which is explained, but I'll just say that it comes back to haunt her. I don't know if I'll ever do the sequel, as I sort of did a teeny sequel in the epilogue and am now invested in I'll Pick You Up. I'm glad you think one, despite the typos/grammatical errors and such! Thanks for the review.

Name: GinnyPotterFan26 (Signed) · Date: 02/24/10 15:43 · For: Chapter 8: A Natural Phenomenon
I actually thought Emma (and by extension, you) was fairly obvious. Especially, since you capitalized it. I got Lily's though too.

Lots and lots of fluff. Penguin pajamas? Comical tooth paste drool? Peanut? Of all the nicknames, PEANUT?
Eh, who am I kidding? It wouldn't be Lily and James if it wasn't a bit abnormal. Who else could produce a son like Harry?

Author's Response: Haha, that's true, Harry couldn't have come from two normal people ;) The fluffliness comes and goes, sometimes a little strong. But if you're a fan of angst, there will be plenty more to come!

Name: GinnyPotterFan26 (Signed) · Date: 02/24/10 15:22 · For: Chapter 7: The First Day
Man, that's one girl that is incredibly tough to read. The sheer audacity and determination of her. Amazing.
I picked up on the first few major things that are in disregard of DH, the stuff about Snape and Lily, but I liked your interpretation too. Seeing as you obviously hadn't read DH yet (no one had), I thought that was a very creative way to explain Snape and Lily's behavior after the DADA O.W.L.

Author's Response: Yes, this was long before DH. There are some more things later that also veer from DH, even though its published by that point, but they were part of the original plot. I guess you just have to keep DH out of mind ;) Thanks for the review!

Name: GinnyPotterFan26 (Signed) · Date: 02/24/10 14:44 · For: Chapter 6: Cooties
I agree the balance between the two parts of this story has been, well, not even, at least. But I think that comes from not only publishing this one chapter at a time, but writing it the same way. You might have the over-plot figured out, but it's these small details that arise in writing that tend to make it take longer, but also make it so much more interesting.

By the way, which one-shot are you referring to in the A/N here?

Author's Response: I'm glad you like the small details! I think it all starts to come together eventually. And, honestly, I have no idea which one-shot I meant at the time, I have a handful of Lily/James ones I've written over the years, some better than others (in my opinion). Thanks for the review!

Name: GinnyPotterFan26 (Signed) · Date: 02/24/10 13:02 · For: Chapter 5: What Makes Life Worth Living
I suspected at the heels, but I didn't know until James changed into his pajamas without moving. It was a fun dream though.
Not my favorite chapter, but I like your characterization of Emmeline. It's kind of strange that we know so little about her from the books, despite the fact that she's in both incarnations of the Order. I think it's great that she seems like she could be a female James (albeit with a little more self-awareness, perhaps).

And if you want help reviewing these, at least as far as picking through them for punctuation, grammar, spelling, and the like, I'd be happy to look through them.

Author's Response: The heels are a bit of a give-away, I think! This isn't one of the better chapters, I don't think, but I'm glad you like Emmeline! She definitely becomes a big character. And yes, if you'd like to point out any typos, I'd greatly appreciate it! I could fix the grammar and spelling myself, if I took the time to do it, but I'd rather be writing new things :)

Name: GinnyPotterFan26 (Signed) · Date: 02/24/10 7:35 · For: Chapter 3: Soap Suds and Back Rubs
Of course I checked (right away, in fact). Well done. And, I'd like to say that, despite your claim at the end of the prologue, you've published here an entire chapter in Lily's POV. That's alright though, because I think it was a wonderful chapter. Fun, but revealing, and well written (despite the few jarring typos). But I have to let out a big "What?!" to Andy. Oh well...moving forward.
Also, Lily's Muggle-isms to counter his Wizard sayings: great!

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you liked it -- and I apologise for the typos. Some day I need to go back and fix all of those!

Name: GinnyPotterFan26 (Signed) · Date: 02/23/10 23:25 · For: Chapter 1: A World Turned Upside Down
First off, I'll admit that Lily and Ginny are the only two fictional characters on whom I've ever had crushes. But did you really have to make Lily that much more attractive by being able to speak German? The things that does to a guy.
Sorry, just felt the need to rant a little. Anyways...
Of course she wasn't dead. Not much of a James/Lily fic if she's dead in one chapter. And I'd have to guess Bones or McKinnon for the other girl.

Author's Response: Haha, what can I say -- Lily is an enticing girl ;) And, yes, that would be just a wee bit too AU to have Lily die in the first chapter! Thanks for the review.

Name: GinnyPotterFan26 (Signed) · Date: 02/23/10 22:48 · For: Prologue
I liked that you addressed that Molly was present at some point during Lily's Hogwarts career. I always wondered if they had known each other. And I really liked the idea of putting the prologue in Lily's POV.
I know that I've read your stories kind of out of order in which you published them (not that it really has much significance), but I can already tell this one was written a fair while earlier than, say, "I'll Pick You Up." There are a few obvious spelling/grammar errors, and it's not as clean as some of your other work. But seeing as this was written nearly four years ago or whatever, I won't really nitpick like that.
I also have to ask...Is this story really written with much disregard to the 7th book? I mean, there really wasn't that much in there to disregard as far as James and Lily go, not without going AU. Or is that warning on here simply because you started writing/publishing the story before DH was released?

Author's Response: I always like to imagine that Lily and Molly knew one another in some capacity! Yes, this story was written much, MUCH earlier -- it was the first fanfiction for any genre I ever tried writing! I began before DH was released, so that's why it seems to disregard it. DH came out when I was about three/fourths of the way through. Truth be told, I sometimes cringe a little when I re-read it and some of my other older fanfictions because there is so much I would change and do differently and better. I hope you like it, anyway, though! I think that both in this and in my fic "When Darkness Did Surround Us" the writing gets better as the story progresses because I wrote both of them over about two and a half years. Thanks for the review!

Name: hlrf (Signed) · Date: 02/11/10 19:48 · For: The Epilogue
I absolutely loved this story. It was a wonderful and captivating read. You are a very talented writer and should be commended for your hard work. This is one of the best fanfiction stories I have ever read. Congratulations on making an amazing piece of art.

Author's Response: Thanks very much! That's high praise, and I'm glad you enjoyed it so much :)

Name: thatgirllucy (Signed) · Date: 01/15/10 20:59 · For: The Epilogue
I've read and re-read this story so many times! I even tried and failed to persuade my very anti-harry potter friend to read it! Good Job; it's truly amazing!

Author's Response: Thanks! :) I'm glad you like it so much!

Name: lilyputt (Signed) · Date: 01/02/10 2:41 · For: Chapter 1: A World Turned Upside Down
AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!That was intense!!!

Author's Response: It was, wasn't it? Hopefully you liked it :)

Name: heirofgryffindoorcasey103 (Signed) · Date: 12/28/09 2:00 · For: The Epilogue

Author's Response: Thanks!

Name: heirofgryffindoorcasey103 (Signed) · Date: 12/28/09 2:00 · For: The Epilogue

Name: Nymphea (Signed) · Date: 12/22/09 23:48 · For: The Epilogue
okay, one final review.

This was one of the first stories I read on MNFF, and the first that I loved. I think it's part of the reason I started writing my own: this story was such a good example of what a fanfiction can be.

The beginning is what I remember most vividly, because it's tied up with all those memories of finding the James/Lily category and discovering there were stories in my head, too. From the very beginning, the way you described Lily and James so fit with both what JKR has written and with the characters as I imagined them that I couldn't stop reading. There's just a deliciousness, a tenderness, to the way you write their relationship--and even though the whole story is set in the made-up world of Harry Potter, the emotions are absolutely, gut-wrenchingly real, especially Lily's post-trauma development as a character.

My favorite plot twist was the discovery of Ted's duplicity. But the whole story line of the captured people was so creative and intriguing; it really gave a sense of urgency to all the events of the story. There's a war happening at the same time.

Thank you for finishing this. And yes, the epilogue is a little depressing, but I love the last line. And the epilogue isn't depressing in a bad way, just a real way. "What if?" is always the question that plagues us, isn't it, and Sirius and Emmeline feel the weight of that question here.

I can't wait to read more of your work!

Author's Response: Thank you so very much! It makes me smile to think that this story helped give you the push to write your own fanfiction :) And I'm so glad that you thought the emotions real, as that's always something for which I strive. I do think that a lot of Lily/James fics simply skip over the "there's a war going on" aspect, which clearly would have affected them in some way, so its good to know that you thought the plot captured plot line put the war into the story, and also that you liked Ted's duplicity -- I had been waiting to do that since the beginning and it was so exciting to have it all finally come out. Thanks again!

Name: EE_Battery (Signed) · Date: 12/05/09 18:02 · For: The Epilogue
I love this story. It was beautifully written and the plot and characters are all amazing. Keep it up!!!

Author's Response: Thank you! :)

Name: Madame Lestrange (Signed) · Date: 12/02/09 21:07 · For: Chapter 4: Itty Bitty Potters Gone Wild
W-O-W This is the best story I have read on this website. I am very impressed!!!

Author's Response: Thank you! That's high praise!

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