Login
MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!

Name: Afifa (Signed) · Date: 02/25/09 23:07 · For: Chapter 27: When It Rains, It Pours
Woah. I had no idea that the title was based on a song. O.o But it's so appropriate. Maybe I'll look it up some day. =p

On with the review now. One thing, first, the chapter title is pretty fitting too. And so true.



I like how abrupt the starting is and that it's a negative feeling. The thought after it shows that James used to be arrogant. That there was something to why Lily called him 'arrogant' and not just because she thought him that.



The debate he has in his mind is quite natural. What to do? What to bring win back Lily? What to bring back the girl he loves? It shows how human he acts even though he's just a made up character. I know I've mentioned it quite a few times but I sirius-ly do love your James. He's mature but not overly so. He definitely has his moments of being arrogant but they're under control now and show that he has changed though not completely. That it would take time.



I love the cold/hot thing. How James likes being warm because it's comfortable and he always used to be that until Lily leaves and he suddenly feels cold. It's more of how he feels emotionally than physically.



Also, his thoughts about the firsts... he's truthful enough to admit to himself that he hadn't fallen head over heals for Lily at once. That he hadn't fallen in love at first sight. In fact, there had been many other girls before him. That she was just a crush, and sometimes a challenge. A ego thing. But, then, he comes close in contact with her. And viola! And, then, the jealously factor makes him admit. Now his feelings were so, that they weren't actually together... er... physically doesn't matter much to him. It's more of love and less of lust. He's willing to wait as long as he gets what he wants. And, he's willing to commit. In fact, he wants to. And he's even willing to be all friendly with Ted even though he doesn't want to. Shows how much he needs Lily.



After he finds Lily, he's relieved, but worried, but he's also in control and will fight for her life. He's panicked but he doesn't show it unlike Sirius and Emma. But he's obviously hoping, and praying.


Then there's Sirius. He completely fits. He's furious. And he's had had his own personal experiences no one would envy. It's just so natural that he should think of running away from Hogwarts too since he had run away from his home before. But he's loyal to the Marauders. *loves* It's sort of ironic though how he's thinking of 'Peter' and 'loyalty'. It is so Sirius, showing his anger at an apple. He still has brotherly feelings for Regulus, too. Shows that he's not cut off everything. He can't. No matter how hard he tries. He has a heart which refuses to hate his brother. He wants to change what's happening. But he can't. He's helpless. And he hates that feeling. When he finds Lily, he's horrified. He doesn't know what's happening around. He can't think. Lily's about die, and with him will die his best friend. His brother. The one person he cares most about in the world.



Emma's all freaked out. But she isn't in denial because she's a matter of fact girl. But that doesn't mean that she wants it to be the truth. She knows and it hurts. Her love is on the side she is against. And he has put her best friend, more likely her only friend, on her death bed. She was utterly happy some time back. And then suddenly everything has been snatched away from her. And she can't do anything to put her life back to normal. She ends up singing a song she loves. She ends up reminiscing. Talking about Lily and James and the hardships and the song. She's vulnerable. A feeling she's never shown.



Love the determination in the last line. And I hope like hell they find the antidote soon. I know they will find it, obviously, but I hope it happens soon. I really feel sorry for them all. *hugs them*


Also, somewhere in the chapter you mention Lily's BFF. Um, I don't think that in those days there were terms like these so maybe you should change it to 'good friend' or something. I thought of saying 'bosom friend' first but then that might be a bit too much maybe.



I can't wait till the next update!



- Afifa



Author's Response: Thanks so much for such a long, detailed review! This makes my day :) I absolutely adore James -- even if he is a fictional character -- and I'm to know you think I write his character well. I never really thought he fell in love with her at first sight or that his fourteen-year-old self could really be madly in love with her. I just don't think fourteen-year-old boys can EVER be madly in love with someone. As for Sirius -- he always seemed so tortured to me, and I love the character that J.K. Rowling has created: a boy who is so good, loyal and brave, yet so angry, bitter, and simply flawed. It's good to know you think I did a good job with him, too! Really, though, the person I think is worst off in this chapter is Emma. They'll definitely be more on her and what she's going through! Thanks again for the review; I'll have to change that one line.


Name: Anchal (Signed) · Date: 02/16/09 21:43 · For: Chapter 27: When It Rains, It Pours
Any words from the mods about the next chapter? I've been checking and re-checking every other day but the mods have kept me waiting.

Author's Response: It shouldn't be too much longer! :)


Name: Elise_12 (Signed) · Date: 02/16/09 2:43 · For: Prologue
OMG THIS STORY IS SO EFFING CAPTIVATING!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOU HAVE SRSLY GOT TO FINISH THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Author's Response: I'm glad you like it so much! The next chapter isn't too far off. Thanks very much for the review :)


Name: orangesherbert (Signed) · Date: 02/10/09 18:25 · For: Chapter 27: When It Rains, It Pours
I'm ready!!!!! Your story is absolutely fantastic. The plot is brilliant and the writing is superb. I was entirely captivated for several hours while I just read through this story. I absolutely cannot wait for the next chapter so I hope it comes out soon. For now, I will wait with baited breath!

Author's Response: Thanks very much! Captivated is the perfect word to see in a review ;) Hopefully the next chapter will be posted soon.


Name: SmartyPants (Signed) · Date: 02/08/09 9:59 · For: Chapter 27: When It Rains, It Pours
Okay... time to make your day.

Thanks for the new chapter, even though it didn't really provide the ending to that truly horrible cliffhanger from the previous chapter... Though I gotta say, great writing. It's interesting seeing things from multiple characters' POV's.

Although... aren't electronics supposed to not work inside Hogwarts?

Author's Response: You have made my day! I always appreciate reviews ;) I'm glad you liked this chapter despite the fact that I didn't really resolve the cliffhanger from the previous chapter; the next chapter is in queue and should be posted soon. As for electronics -- it was a wireless, like Mrs. Weasley has, not a Muggle radio. I assume it would therefore work in Hogwarts. . . . Thanks again for the review!


Name: I Am Peeves (Signed) · Date: 02/04/09 16:28 · For: Chapter 27: When It Rains, It Pours
Love the story and the chapter is great!! You always leave me desperate to read more. I've recently received 6 or 7 emails telling me that chapter 30 is up, only to click the link and find that it isn't. Talk about a let-down. :(

Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter! I've been told three times now that the story's been accepted, and the most recent time, I was told that they accepted it but were having trouble making it visible . . . whatever that means. Hopefully it won't be too much longer! Thanks for the review.


Name: alzzu (Signed) · Date: 02/03/09 3:42 · For: Chapter 27: When It Rains, It Pours
It's been a while -- and I think I've said it before, but you really do love your cliffies, don't you? Oh well, so do I -- even though they're usually really evil. Really, really evil. Especially the one in the last chapter.

Unfortunately I haven't got enough time to leave the novel-length review I'd really like to give you (I'd fallen further behind than I thought! I really should pay more attention to the updates) so I'll just say that it's definitely still brilliant. Not much of a surprise, considering that it is YOUR story... but anyway. Brilliant it is.
- Alisa

Author's Response: Thanks very much! I sometimes fall behind on stories, too, so I'm glad you've had the chance to catch up and that you still enjoy it!


Name: Sirius_Forever_94 (Signed) · Date: 02/01/09 21:50 · For: Chapter 27: When It Rains, It Pours
Wow. Another excellent chapter on your part. The suspense is killing me! It seems as though they can't possibly get out of this pickle. So write another chapter, quick!

Author's Response: The mods have already accepted the next chapter; they told me they're having a little trouble making it visible, though. Hopefully that means it'll be posted any minute! :) Thanks for the review; I'm glad you liked this chapter.


Name: scarlet crayon (Signed) · Date: 01/31/09 21:41 · For: Chapter 27: When It Rains, It Pours
This chapter was very captivating! and someone to watch over me is a wonderful song. i quite like it.

Author's Response: Thanks, I'm glad that you thought it capitvating -- and that you like the song! :)


Name: snapey_rapeyx3 (Signed) · Date: 01/30/09 14:57 · For: Chapter 27: When It Rains, It Pours
oh yeah, have you ever listened to the song 1, 2, 3, 4 by the Plain White T's? it reminds me soo much of this story.
just thought i'd let you know!

Author's Response: I've never heard that one, actually. I'll have to listen and see if it reminds me of the story, too! For most all of the scenes in all of my fanfictions, there's a song I have in mind that would fit that scene.


Name: snapey_rapeyx3 (Signed) · Date: 01/30/09 14:51 · For: Chapter 27: When It Rains, It Pours
you never cease to amaze me with your writing.
i haven't been reading anything fanfiction-y in a while, i've been super busy with school and everything, and for a while my computer was down, so i just finished reading the last four chapters, and i am simply blown away.
you are amazing! i can't wait to find out what happens to lily and everyone else.
hope the next chapter is up soon! i'm once again addicted to your writing.

Author's Response: Thanks very much! That's high praise. I'm glad you've gotten back into fanfiction, and that you've enjoyed catching up on what you missed. The next chapter has been accepted by the mods but -- and this is news to me -- apparently my story must also be approved by an admin because of the number of people that have to be alerted when it's updated. So it shouldn't be too much longer!


Name: hpfan654 (Signed) · Date: 01/28/09 15:35 · For: Prologue
Love the story so far. hope you update soon. did you know 'Comfortably Numb' is a song by Pink Floyd? just wondering...

Author's Response: Thanks! The next chapter is in the queue and should be posted soon. I did know that it is a song by Pink Floyd -- the title was actually derived from that song. If you listen to the lyrics, they personify what I imagine Lily to be feeling as she fades out of consciousness. It's a good song :)


Name: brighterer (Signed) · Date: 01/28/09 0:07 · For: Chapter 27: When It Rains, It Pours
i think that you capture emotions so brilliantly in this story and its completely believable. I love this chapter, as much all the rest.

Author's Response: Thanks very much -- I'm glad you think so!


Name: thepurplesphinx (Signed) · Date: 01/27/09 19:21 · For: Chapter 27: When It Rains, It Pours
Cliffhanger!

Author's Response: I happen to be a big fan of them . . . ;)


Name: gitgit (Signed) · Date: 01/24/09 8:52 · For: Chapter 27: When It Rains, It Pours
oh shoooot i cant wait to read chapter 30 oh man oh man this was brilliant i really loved this chapter!!

Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you liked it! The next chapter is in queue :)


Name: swordfish0 (Signed) · Date: 01/21/09 14:47 · For: Chapter 27: When It Rains, It Pours
ho-lee crap.
First of all - i love the song, it's such a classic. I'm glad you found somewhere to put it.
in case I haven't ever told you before - I LOVE THIS. Honestly, i am totally devoted to this story! It's why I check for updates.
ANYway,
Emma and Sirius, I think, should go alone to find the antidote? They're both kind of lone wolf types and they could be good for each other. They could be important friends I think. And James wouldn't leave Lily, would he?
This is AMAZING. keep updating, por favor?

Author's Response: I'm glad you like it so much! And I'm glad you like the song, too! It's an old favorite of mine, and I really wanted to put it in the story. I kept waiting and waiting for the right moment, and finally it presented itself :) That's an interesting idea for Emma and Sirius, but of course, you'll have to wait to see how that plays out! Thanks for the review.


Name: love_letters (Signed) · Date: 01/21/09 13:08 · For: Chapter 26: Comfortably Numb, part 2
 i refuse to belive that, refuse to belive you just kiled off one of the mane caricters. no way lilys dead

Author's Response: Well, she can't be dead considering Harry hasn't been born yet, but she is certainly in trouble. . . .


Name: love_letters (Signed) · Date: 01/20/09 13:27 · For: Chapter 18: Conversations and An Invitation
why dose everyone whont to castrate james its so funny

Author's Response: I'm glad you think it's funny! Thanks for the review.


Name: Fiffer Haliwell (Signed) · Date: 01/19/09 15:53 · For: Chapter 27: When It Rains, It Pours
Wow this chaper was really powerful. It showed a lot of emotion. I think iw as important for sirius and emma to talk it's gonna help mend hte bridge between them. That poison is horrible. Tehre has to be an antidote i jsut wonder how htey will find it.

Author's Response: I think it was important for Emma and Sirius to talk, too! This chapter was a bit powerful, you're right. As for the antidote . . . I won't give anything away, but of course you know Lily doesn't die ;) Thanks very much for the review!


Name: x_moonlightshine (Signed) · Date: 01/18/09 19:55 · For: Chapter 27: When It Rains, It Pours
Aww.. poor Emma. I almost cried when she turned on the radio.

And interesting bit about Sirius and Regulus.

I'm thinking now that either Ted is a lot more sadistic than I thought, or he purposefully did it this way so that she'd have a chance to live... providing that they find the antidote. Can't they just pull a Harry (provided, that's from the future, but STILL) and stick a bezoar down her throat??

I can't say how much I love this story.... update update update! (please)

Author's Response: Poor Emma, indeed. I've never really read any good fanfictions about Sirius and Regulus, and while I'm sure they exist, I always like to fill in what I see as a gap. I'm glad you found what I wrote on them interesting. Those are some interesting theories on Ted, but of course you'll have to wait and see how they turn out. . . . ;) J.K. Rowling said that the bezoar works for most poisons, but not all, so in this case, "pulling a Harry" won't work (unfortunately!) But that's a good thought, actually. Thanks very much for the review! I will try and update soon. The next chapter is almost entirely written.


You must login (register) to review.