AMAZING. Absolutely effing amazing. Once my exams finish, I'm going to re-read it all again and then give you the favourites. But amazing job!
Author's Response: Thanks! I can't wait until then -- good luck with your exams :)
Wow. That was amazing. There was SUCH emotion in that part about Beverly, I mean obviously we knmew which it would be, but honestly? I wanted to cry. Really really well written! Well done!
See? I can be less harsh >.<
Author's Response: Thanks very much! Yes, it was pretty obvious I wasn't about to kill Lily or Emma, but I'm glad you still liked it :)
I really liked this prolouge, The fight with the Slytherins was really well done. You are a really good writer, the things you write all seem so real, I love Lily's character in this.
A few nit-picks though! Lily wouldn't have braces in the wizarding world. Even Hermione, who had dentists as parents, didn't wear her brace at school. If she had a problem with her teeth, she simply would have gone Madam Pomfry to fix it. having braces myself, I know they don't work very well unless you have them tightened every six weeks or so, and that isnt really something you could do while at Hogwarts. You also say about Petunia that she had "thick blonde hair" which we know from Canon inst strictly true, (unless of course she dyed it) and you say that Lily and Petunia hated each other. As far as I can tell, that is in no way true. Petunia may have thought her sister was a freak, but as far as I know, Lily always loved her sister, even if they grew apart after Lily began Hogwarts. Also, you have Alice as her best friend. A fic of mine recently got rejected for the same thing, Alice Longbottom wasn't in the same year as Lily, she was actually older. I appreciate that you can't change her character now, i just thought I;d tell you for future reference. Watch out for those Americanisms as well "Realized" doesn't have a 'z'
I do really like the idea of the whole 'transformation' thing for Lily though, it is something I have never seen before.
I am very very sorry that my reviews may seem a little harsh, but I really do love your writing and am only trying to help you improve! and I look forward to reading the next few chapters! Sorry again if I seem harsh!
Author's Response: I'm glad you liked the writing, and never feel bad about constructive criticism! This first chapter was written so, so long ago that I'm sure it has a lot of problems. I can hardly read it myself anymore because there are many, many things that ought to be changed. I'll have to bear it and take a look to fix what you suggested! :)
O my god! I was hooked from chapter one! It was amazing and you write fantastically, MagEd. I think you should go beyond fanfiction and write your own books.
Author's Response: That's the dream! I'm glad liked it so much :) Thanks for the review!
OMG, you have SO many sat vocab words in here, did you have a teacher named Mrs. Thompson at coral springs middle or something, its crazy
Your story is awesome. I love it. I am a Harry Potter connoseir, and this story definately passed my marks. (I have HORRIBLE spelling)
Author's Response: Haha, nope. But I did get an 800 on my verbal SATs! ;) I'm glad you liked this story and it passed your marks! Don't worry about spelling -- that's what spell check's for, right? Thanks for the review!
Oh my, Lord! This was marvelous! I spent all day yesterday and today reading this. It was beautiful! Good job. I loved the way you described James and Lily's relationship from the start, the suspense you kept with the random memories of the kidnapping, the twists and turns... everything! This was simply amazing! I love how you wrote the defying Voldemort parts. They were great!
I'm going to check out your profile and read a few more of your fanfictions. You're a great writter!
Keep up the good work!
Author's Response: Thanks very much! I've been working on this story for so long its hard to imagine what it would be like to read it all for the first time without having to wait for another chapter. But I'm glad that you were able to and that you enjoyed it until the very end! The defying Voldemort parts were among the hardest to write, so its good to know you appreciate them!
No words can express how much that chapter meant to me. i'm still continuing to read it again, but school started and before that i was out of the country on vacation. I love this story, and I especially love you.
Author's Response: I'm glad I could write something that meant something to you. Thanks for the review!
wow.. ah-mazing... moving on is kind of sad isnt it?? well to be honest my favorite part has always been that cute dream of itty bitty baby potters... it sux though with the epilogue that she never gave harry a chance to really meet her but i get it u had to stay canon... i love the ending everything in emmas point of view was great... i loved everything and anything wit sirius... this was a great fanfiction n im terribly sad that its over!!
Author's Response: I'm a little sad its over, too! That dream of itty, bitty Potters seems to be a favourite of a lot of people; I'm glad you liked it! And I'm glad you liked the ending! I actually thought about having Harry be in it and having her talk to him, but I decided no matter how I spun it, it wouldn't fit right. Thanks for the review! :)
I can't believe it's over.
I haven't been the best reviewer in the world, but I've read every chapter and loved all of them. I laughed, I cried, and I believed that Ted was good, even though I shouldn't have.
The End's Not Near; It's Here and The Aftermath were my favorite chapters. I loved the suspense when Lily and James went to see Voldemort- I forgot about canon and was worried that they'd die. And I loved Sirius saying that they'd eloped; you've characterized him wonderfully, which isn't something many fanfic authors can do.
My favorite part, however, was when James proposed. It just seems so fitting to have him do it when they were in school... but, yeah, I really liked that scene. Brought warm fuzzies to my heart :D
I sort of liked the epilogue- but the negativity was mostly because I was sad to see it end :D I adore the Sirius/Emmeline pairing; I could see them marrying, if they'd lived in the alternate universe Sirius talked about. I can see why Emma doesn't love Harry like Sirius does; it's a bit Snape-like, but it works rather nicely. I'm also really glad Ted died; I don't think it would have been fair if he'd lived.
All in all, I really enjoyed this story, so thank you very much for writing it-- even if it did take three years! I'll defientely miss the updates, but this will go with Uncle Fred Calls Him Dick in my list of rereads. (Speaking of the latter story- will you ever write anything like it again? Because I love it to pieces; it's one of my favoritetest fanfics ever) :D I don't think I'll be able to read your other James/Lily just yet... I like this one too much, haha.
Well, I hope this wins the QSQs-- I nominated it for the canon romance category. Good luck!
Until next time indeed,
Author's Response: I can't really believe its over, either! I'm glad you enjoyed it so much and like the final, suspenseful chapters. They were really hard to write, but I'm rather proud of how they turned out. And I'm glad you liked the proposal! I was smiling like a crazy person to myself the entire time I wrote that scene. ;) The ending is definitely bittersweet, but I couldn't have dragged it out any longer! It would have been nice to see Sirius and Emma together for real, but this is as happy as I could see them realistically. As for Uncle Fred Calls Him Dick and writing something like it -- I do have an idea in mind that I think I've mentioned in my profile called "Giving a Fish a Bath." I started to write it and then realized that it was almost TOO much like Uncle Fred Calls Him Dick with various family members be introduced one by one in the first chapter. Hopefully, though, I'll get into it and redo it and post it soon! Thanks for the QSQ nomination! :)
I'm gona cry now that was a grate storry I loved it
Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you liked it. It is a little sad that its over, though.
I'm. In love. With. This story. I can't even tell you. It's so perfect. I've told you how beautiful your mechanical writing and narrative style are in pretty much every review but IT'S STILL NOT ENOUGH! PLUS I didn't review on every chapter so I missed things! Many things that deserved praise! But, even if I'd reviewed 5 times a chapter, I'd never have been able to perfectly articulate why this is my hands-down favorite fanfiction on any site.
Anyway let me tell you the best parts I can remember off the top of my head. I've been reading this for 2+ years so I'm sure there are tons I won't remember to include.
1. Emma. She's amazing. She's so pessimistic about the whole world and her whole life turns out to be pretty pitiful but she's the best thing about this story. She's SO real. And I'm glad you didn't have her character recover and live a bubbly sociable life. That would have been so wrong.
2. The epilogue. I honestly had no idea you were going to go this far in the future for this last chapter. Most marauder era epilogues are about the wedding or Harry being born etc etc because author's want to end on a happy note and not deal with the fact that literally EVERY marauder dies. And in your case, we have the additional knowledge that nothing good becomes of Lily and Emmeline Vance and Alice Longbottom. And since you're a lover of the happy ending, I was rather surprised when my brain placed a time frame on the epilogue. However, the angsty tone of it all was very fitting. Sirius and Emma are both so well fleshed out by this point that I don't even have to think about why Emma doesn't want to know Harry or why she shies away from agreeing that her and Sirius would have ended up together if things had been "different." Emma was never going be that girl who looked at life through rose-colored glasses. That much was clear from the time she fell into the ice water and her notions about the inevitable disappointmet of life were made clear in the hospital. This epilogue was absolutely my favorite chapter of the story. It's the climax of all of the depth and beauty you brought to a story that so many people have written as a fluff-fest. And I'm glad Emma killed Ted, even if she could have escaped if she didnt and if she "would have cared enough about her own life."
3. My favorite memory: the one in the Potters gone wild chapter. I love it when Emma describes what Lily should look like- knittted sweater and pillows "I like pillows." Plus it shows hope subconsciously Lily has always been headed towards James.
4. Seven Ways You Know You're a Sissy. I ADORED that part. And the surrounding plotline of Sirius' jealousy and the resolution of Lily telling him that James refused to stop being friends with Sirius even when Lily trick- demanded it.
5. The fight between Lily and Emma in the great hall will always be a highlight of intenseness.
6. Ted. Not really a favorite. That's so messed up. I SOOOO didnt believe he was really evil for a long time. Maybe until he stabbed Lily? At that point even if he was still desperately trying to save them all there could have been no redemption in my mind. Which is fine as it turned out he deserved none in the end anyway.
Oh! I also remembered that I liked Patches. And the memory with the Durmstrang boy. And James' mother. AH! Too much!
So thanks so much for writing this story and for being devoted enough to keep it up for all these years. I never could have taken it if you had abandoned it.
Now I guess I'll have to immerse myself in "I'll pick You Up" and all of the new gems in your "Coming Soon" section. I'll have to get around to reviewing that and "When Worlds Die" before I head off to school. I just can't keep up with you and your amazingness! They're both great though, just for the record.
I hope real life doesn't get too hard! I'll be here as long as you are. Good luck and keep updating!
Author's Response: Thanks so much! This is one of the best reviews I've ever gotten. I'm glad you stuck it out for over two years as I wrote this. I'm also glad you liked the epilogue! It certainly wasn't my usual kind of ending, but I thought the final chapter had a very happy ending, so the epilogue being a little depressing was okay. After all, for James and Lily and their friend, there really wasn't a happy ending, no matter how you spin it. I got very attached to the personality I created in Emma, so its good to know you like her, too, despite the pessimism. I don't want to sound pessimistic myself, but I think that sometimes things happen that people just don't come back from. I hope you enjoy the other stories! I'm really excited about all of them :) Thanks again!
This is totally one of my favorite stories. I love the story and the writing is wonderful. :)
Author's Response: Thanks! I always love to see the word favorite in reviews :)
I really loved the ending to this story. I like what happened between Ted and Emma. It was really great. I love how you added the flashbacks throughout the story. You always did them at the right time. Your characterization is amazing. I love all of your characters. I really like Ted too. I just love him in the story. His role in the story is great. It's probably my favorite. I love how he's like on their side but then he's with the DE the whole time. I like storys like that. I also like the very begining of the story. That was good too.
You did an amazing job on this story. It was so much fun to read and you always want to know what happenss next. And, you ended it in a way that finishes everything and doesn't make you want to read more, which is great. Pretty much this whole story was great in my opinion.
Author's Response: Thanks very much! I really like revealing plot with memories, and this was my first real experiment in that. I'm glad you like it, and also that you liked the ending! I wanted it to be a good, solid ending that had an appropriate sense of finality about it. :)
wow I can't belive this is over. It feels like I've been following this story for ages. It is very well written. It saddens me to think that Emma's life came down to that. Still she got revenge and that at least sees fitting. Even though it is a fictional world the people that i always felt the worse for were the maruders tey were robbed of their future. So if i feel very bad abotu that i can't imagine hwo they would feel. you did a nice job capturing that. It was a tremendous story.
Author's Response: Thanks so much! Emma's life is reduced rather terribly, but I'm glad you thought it fitting. The Marauders did get a pretty sour deal out of life, I agree. You've been a faithful reviewer, and I appreciate that. It's good to know you enjoyed the story! :)
wow u actually had me in teares reading this but im glad u posted it anyways. i like how the epilogue was w/ emma and sirius and many years into the future. and i love how u showed their relationship. because they're not really together but yet they are. and emma's death and ted and everything was so well done. Its sad that no one really had a happy ending and they were all four of them murdered. u did an amazing job in this fic and i have to say this is the best lily/james fic i have ever read. u did a fantastic job. its so sad that its over but it ended it perfectly
Author's Response: Thanks so much! It is a really sad ending and the fact that all four of them get murdered is a little depressing, but I figured people would appreciate reading it nonetheless, as you did :) To think it the best Lily/James fic you've read is high praise, and I'm glad enjoyed it so much, despite the bittersweet taste of it coming to an end.
This is one of the best james/lily fics i've read... you make them feel so real. I really loved your portrayal of all the canon characters and i loved emma. I was sort of hoping earlier in the story that Ted might be good in the end but after the scene with voldemort i decided that he was just pure evil. I liked that emma killed him in the end.
i loved the proposal... it was soo cute. i wish that sirius and Emma had gotten together but i think that even while Lily was alive she would not have been stable enough to be in a serious relationship. Thank you soo much for this great story!
Author's Response: Thanks very much! I'm rather attached to Emma, too, and its sad that she never really gets to be happy; it was definitely have been fun to see her with Sirius, but as you said, it wouldn't have worked because she wasn't ready for a serious relationship. And I'm glad you liked the proposal! :)
Is and always will be the only good lily/james fan fic I have ever read. Not to insult other writers at all, but no one writes them like you do. I'm 17 now and Ive been reading it since the summer before I turned 15. Amazinggg. You should know what a brilliant writer you are :)
Author's Response: Thanks so much! That's very high praise. I'm so glad you stuck with the story over the years :)
It was incredibly depressing, but at the same time very meaningful...to me, anyway.Throughout the entire story, I love how close Emma and Lily were. I thought they were the perfect pair of friends. Reading about how depressed Emma was when Lily and James died, how she was just a shell, was very...moving, I guess. I swear, a small tear ran down my cheek. Really beautiful. I love this story, always will.
~Passion For Prongs
Author's Response: Thanks very much! Emma and Lily were very close, and as much as I would like to see Emma have a happy ending, I honestly don't think she would have fared very well without Lily. I'm glad you enjoyed this despite how depressing it was. You've been with this story for a long time and I always appreciate hearing your thoughts on it :)
I hate Ted. Poor Emma had to go through all of that crap just to find out how awful he really was. I know she's fictional, but she deserves better!!!
I hate it when these things end, but at the same time I'm relieved. You're cliffhangers are the worst :D I think it was a fantastic ending, really brilliant. Sirius insisting that Lily and James eloped was hilarious, and it made me so happy just to see James and Lily enagaged. And sad...
~Passion For Prongs
Author's Response: A lot of people expected me to make Ted good somehow, but now, he really was awful. I'm glad you liked the ending, even though I agree that its a little sad to see it come to an end. Thanks for the review!
Oh my God! Sorry this took me so long, but I was away for two weeks WITHOUT any internet at all. Oh, it was horrible. But anyway, I felt a little shock when I saw two new chapters and another chapter from I'll Pick You Up!!!
This chapter was so full of suspense, I was going crazy and my brain couldn't keep up with my eyes! It was amazing, to say the least. I'm hurrying to the next chapter!!!
~Passion For Prongs
Author's Response: As long as you review at some point, then I'm happy :) Two weeks with internet does sound hard! I'm glad you liked this chapter and I hope you enjoy the next, too.