Awww, what a sweet fic. Most people can't pull off Harry/Luna so well but I'm delighted to say that you did.
I only have one miniscule bit of a nitpick so please don't hate me. It’s just that every time Harry addresses his wife, he calls her Luna-Love. There’s nothing wrong with that of course but he called her that about 8 times and the repetitive pattern loses the charm of the words.
But other then that, superb work and once again I'm sorry for being so mean.=Sammy
how adorable :)
Author's Response: Thanks for reading!
First, I love Harry/Luna! XD
And second, "Luna-love" *dies*
How freaking cute! *squee*
Ok, but on a serious note, I really loved your characterization of Luna. It was spot on, especially the ramblings and aloof personality. You also got Harry down rather well...with the hovering and 'creased' brow and 'mother hen' behaviour. I can definitely imagine him behaving like that towards his future wife.
My only nit-pick is that he doesn't really respond to Luna's crazy ramblings, but I guess being married to her for two years does that. Even though you do mention that his 'good' isn't the same as her 'good' so it's good to know that you didn't totally cast off that aspect of Harry's persona. It shows that he accepts her just as she is. *loves*
This was my favorite line:
She smiled dreamily at him, causing him to grin sheepishly back.
“Hello there, Luna-love. I have some tea for you, if you’d like it.”
He's so boyish?!
And I also thought this was fluffy: Though he had to admit, nothing short of love for his wife could bring him to cuddle that catnip. It tickled.
The ending was rather fast though, but good nonetheless. I like how you brought out Luna's Ravenclaw side too! XD
Author's Response: Hi Ritta! Thanks for the review, and congrats on becoming a mod! I'm glad you like my characterization (possibly better than I do; I like how Luna came out but Harry is too sappy for my taste). The ending is probably rushed because I wrote this for a fic exchange... you know how those go. Squee for Harry/Luna!
This is just such a cute little story. Only Luna could search through so many possible reasons for her illness before finally realizing what it might be. I suspected from the very beginning when I read that she kept visiting the bathroom.
Of course, the fact that Harry goes along with Luna is just as cute as her taking so long to figure it out. He's also an example of the type of attentive husband most women wish for. How many other men would worry so much about their wife and make them tea and broth and toast. That was wonderful of him.
On the other hand, I was slightly surprised by that he hadn't come to the realization that she might be pregnant. But, that might just be me projecting the common sense knowledge of that stuff which I always seem to think everyone has when that's not always the case.
Aside from that, the only thing that I found in this chapter that could use some fixing is the following:
“I don’t know, Harry. Maybe Crumble-Horned Snorkacks have this effect on women? It could be that… will you fetch my book on them so I can check?”
I'm pretty sure the 'b' in 'Crumble-Horned Snorkacks' should be a 'p' instead.
Other than that, this was a nice, touching little story. You've done a great job portraying the Harry/Luna pairing, which can be difficult to write. It just had me smiling the whole way through. :)
Author's Response: You know, I thought they were Crumple-horned too. But Nan insisted that it was Crumble, and when I checked she was right. I did write a very clueless Harry, and to be truthful I'm not really happy with how I wrote him, but I sort of thought there would be a lot of stuff Harry just didn't know about from not having had a normal upbringing. Thank's for the review!
I knew it!! I feel so cool. Aw, yay, fluff! I love how he called her "Luna-love" and how she kept saying that nothing was wrong except for odd things.
Author's Response: Congrats on solving the mystery before Luna did!
I loved this :)
Like others have previously said, it's all sweet. Awww.
Your Luna is great! She's a difficult character to get right, I think.
I wasn't all that keen on the sweetened Harry though.
Could have done with a prequel, or a prologue to explain how they got together: that would have been nice .
Author's Response: Looking back, I did make Harry too sweet. I'm glad you like my Luna, though -- I find her fun to write.
First off, there is a major problem with this fic that I noticed before I clicked on it. It only has seven reviews. Harry/Luna fics deserve more love. They are the sweetest squishiest ship in the fandom.
The stand out star of the fic is Luna. Of course, when she's written well, she tends to steal fics. Quirky, calm, and wise, Luna is pitch perfect. Harry is adorable as the doting, worried husband/papa to be. If anything, I'd quibble that he seems a bit too doting to quickly.
The imagery is well balanced and the narrative flows very well. *sighs*
*gropes for another constructive comment* I don't think technically you are supposed to be nauseous grammatically. Isn't it nauseated?
*stamps feet* I want a sequel!!
Author's Response: Mooooooo? I hadn't really thought about a sequel to this, but then again, I rarely write fics with thought of continuing them. Who knows, maybe I'll add to it someday. Thank you for the review, dear. *huggles*
Lian-Love (*giggles*) this was a FANTASTIC story! I'm not much of a Harry/Luna fan, but when it's written to nicely as this is, I can't help but squee!
So it was obvious to me from the get-go that Luna was pregnant. I don't know if that was your intention, but any story that has a female crouching in front of a toilet raises that suspicion- especially when they have been married for two years.
But I loved how neither of them had a clue. Harry of course, is a man, and thus would not suspect that imediately. But his concern and love for his wife was so beautiful. Although I'm surprised he didn't insist they go to St. Mungos or check any medical texts (or better yet, have Hermione do some research). But his caring and acts of love (like bringing broth and tea) were so sweet and so in character.
I also loved that Luna was completely non-plussed and had her own theories on why she was sick. So often people make Luna out to be so out there and stupid, that she can hardly string two words together. You on the other hand have her spirit down just right. She's out there in her thoeries, but still a kind, loving and unique individual. She is not emotionless like to many protray her to be, and I thought it was sweet that she was surprised by the news and a bit nervous to tell Harry.
Really dear, this is a fantasic story and I almost wish there was more to it to see how Harry and Luna would cope with the challenges of pregnancy and child rearing!
Author's Response: Amanda, you didn't have to read and review this! Not that I'm complaining, mind. I just feel bad if my PMS-bitching influenced you to do so. I admit that Harry's not calling upon Hermione for help is a bit of author's convenience on my part, but I defend it on the grounds that men tend to be especially clueless under stress, and that Harry tends to be especially clueless about asking for help (silly Gryffindors). I'm glad you like my Luna; I find her quite fun to write. *huggles*
hi this story was great but i think it was bit rushed maybe you might want to have another go? i'm a beta reader if you want me to have a look at it again
Author's Response: Though I didn't have this fic beta'd because I wrote it for a fic exchange and was already behind the deadline, I have several betas who I use on a regular basis. I would go to them first if I wanted to take another look at this.
Two pieces of advice, however. First of all, a review isn't the best place to solicit beta work (the forums can be helpful for that, if you're interested), particularly if you don't leave substantive review along with your offer. Secondly, if you are going to volunteer to beta, you should always make sure you do so with proper capitalization and punctuation. People won't take you seriously otherwise.
I'm glad you thought the story was good, if rushed. It's not the sort of thing I usually write, so it was a new experience for me.
Hey Lian! I know I've been a terrible Spew buddy, the least I could do was leave a review. I finally got to do it.
First of all, I love the title. I think it's very cute and original. When I read the summary and saw the story was about Luna it all made sense to me. I've always thought that Harry and Luna would make a cute couple. Everytime since I read HBP. This is the first fic I've read of them as a couple.
I think that the characterizations were fine. The only problem I had was with Harry's line in which he said "Luna-love" I think is a bit out of character for him, but he's grown and I guess he's changed. I love the interaction between the two of them, it seemed very plausible and they felt like a real couple. I especially like the part where he sends him to water the plants and the final scene where she tells him that they're expecting a child.
The story flows rather nicely, exploring the diferent aspects of Luna's sickness (is not a sickness, but you know what I mean). The things that bothered me where the # between scenes. You've probably heard this before, but those aren't really necesary. The reader understands when you swich scenes. That's just a little nitpick of mine.
Overall this a was a really sweet story, I leaves you all warm and fuzzy inside. Something that we all need every once in a while.
Author's Response: You're right that Harry isn't really one for nicknames, but I liked that play on her last name so much that I couldn't resist. Bad of me, I know. And the breaks between the scenes are something that I translate over from academic papers... bad habit on my part, and something I really should be beyond by now.
Thanks so much for the constructive comments, and also for reading and reviewing!
great loved it
Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing!
Ah! That was a really cute and fluffy story! I had it figured out pretty much from the start, but it was very nice! :) Thanks for this little heart warming tale!
Author's Response: Thanks for the review, Cheshlin! It's definitely fluffier than is usual for me, and I'm glad you enjoyed it all the same.
This is a very short story. Yet good. I think it is cute how worried Harry gets over Luna.
Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it!
Author's Response: Thanks for reading!