Awesome chapter, I love how you portray the Marauders and that you put in another scene with Remus:).
Author's Response: Thank you, and thanks for the review!
YEY for updatedness!! Interesting interactions between Nell and Remus - and stupid Snape...too bad he doesn't die. Men like that deserve to, you know.
Author's Response: I know! It's FINALLY updated! Thanks for the review!
This story is haunting and palpable, with the delicious plus of taking place during the Marauder Era. Nice girl that Madam Pomfrey - very sensible! I like the emotion you evoke with your words, it's my style of writing and I enjoy it very much.
Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review! I'm glad you like it!
I LOVE the story!!! KEEP WRITING!!! I'm so addicted!!! Please please update soon, I'm about to go MAD!!!
Author's Response: I'm trying. I took up the challenge of writing a Nanowrimo, so I'm a bit busy during November. I'll update as soon as I can. I'm glad you like it so much.
you havent updated?!?! why!?!?! i LOVE YOUR STOY HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME!!!!
ok im gonna stop being silly for a second!
where have you been?
Author's Response: *tee hee* I'm sorry! School's been busy and I haven't had much time to write. You have no idea how happy your review made me. I'm so glad to see I have loyal readers. I promise I'll write as fast as I can and update soon. You want a hint for the next chapter? *whispers* The title is probably going to be 'When a Messenger is Killed'. :D I'll post ASAP! -much love- Gabby
Leaving me here like this, on a cliff, waiting to see - HOW COULD YOU - wanting to read, there's no next button - ARGH!!!
You really must write the next chapter very soon.
Author's Response: I'm sorry for being so utterly cruel. I'm working on chapter five right now. I'm glad you like it.
Woah woah woah.
Not fair... No time to review, hello, goodbye, I'm late for the next chapter!
Author's Response: lol! That's a creative review! Thanks!
And watch, it was Sirius.
Author's Response: ...maybe.....*smirk*
Urg! Snape! *shudder* Watch - mind you, I'm probably wrong. (as usual) I suppose I'll have to read on and find out. (you already know you're wrong, what's the point of reading onwards?)
A strange thing called curiosity.
Author's Response: *smirk* You'll find out who it is eventually. I'm glad I'm making you want to read on. That's a compliment... I think? Thanks for the review!
damn these one-word reviews, but it doesnt need anymore:p
Author's Response: if you say so... thanks for the review, even if it is only one word long
hahaha. nell is such a spaz.
Author's Response: not supposed to be funny...
it was kinda weird how he could have whispered in her ear but then gone? but besides that great chapter
Author's Response: he is a creepy kind of guy...
Author's Response: thanks...
Hey Gabby! I'm finally reviewing this, sorry it took me such a long time. I'm a horrible friend, I know. Any way, I'm doing it now and that's what matters.
The plot is very good. You seem to have evrything planned out which is great. I'm very confused on who the mystery guy is. I thought it would be Sirius, but if it was Sirius then Nell would be in love with him because he is oh so charming. I'm starting to think that maybe he's Snape. *wonders* He's creepy enough.
You've done a good job with Nell's characterizations. In the four short chapters we know who she is, how she looks like, what she likes and her habits. I'm sure there is a lot of room for her to grow and I'm sure she will. My only problem with Nell is that (at least to me) a bit too angsty. I must be honest a couple of parts where a bit tiresome to read because she's too angsty. Maybe you could bring it down a bit? Or is she like this because something terrible that we don't know happened to her? After this chapter I'm starting to think that maybe she was raped.
I like the narration. Nell has a voice of her own. It keeps you guessing and keeps you in your toes. You never know if the creepy guy is going to show up from her back and kill her or something. I've watched way too many scary movies.
So, here comes the not so nice part of the review. I caught a little typo in chapter 3, somwhere instead of saying 'calm' it says 'clam' but it's nothing to worry about. I would like to see more descriptions in the story. I loved what you did in this chapters with the dungeons. I don't mean setting, but the characters. Describe them a bit more. Like for example, Addie, we don't know how she looks. Like her hair color and stuff. Or did you explain it and I just forgot? If that was the case then I'm sorry, I should pay more attention.
You have a good idea in your hands, Gabby. I'll keep an eye on this fic and see where it goes. Good luck!
PS: Poor Remus. Doesn't Nell know he's like one of the nicest guys around?
Author's Response: FINALLY!!!! First off, THANK YOU!!!!!!!! Now... I told people in the first few reviews who the mystery guy is... if you really want to know, go check the first few reviews, but I recomend finding out later. I'm glad the characterization is good except for being too angsty... but I don't think she is... did you not read the chapter? it says right in it... “You never notice just how many boys there are in this world until one of them rapes you…” *eyeroll smiley* Way to be observant. Zut! Je déteste les 'typos'. It better not do that weird spacing thing when I try to fix it, because if it does, I don't think I'll bother fixing it... it's one letter... and to just change one letter, I don't have the 1/2 hour to spare. I think I forgot to include Addie's description... I'll see what I can do! Thanks again for the review. PS... No, she doesn't... BUT... *coughyouwishyouknewwhatIwasabouttosaycough*
I LOVE this story! Its one of those amazing best sellers that you cannot put down. in this case, i would be able to pice it up... but its like i dont want to stop reading this story! I love it!
Author's Response: That makes my day to know. I'm glad you "LOVE" it. :D
omgomgomg i really want to know what happens next! omg your story is beautiful. The writing is so good and i really feel like i'm with the charactor! I cant imagene being in that knid of a situation! i hope it has a happy ending!
lots o' love
Author's Response: I'm so excited to have a happy reader.
omgomgomg i cannot wait till the naex chapter. this is sooo good! I have to know whats next!
Author's Response: omgomgomg... I'm glad you like it.
Your story is engaging. While the main character feels very real to me, there are some things that I must disagree with. Regardless of your personal feelings towards Snape, I do think your characterisation of him is chillingly off in this piece. The humming especially frightened me. The acts that you’ve described are much more suited to a young Tom Riddle than a young Severus Snape – in fact, until I read the other chapters, I assumed the man in question was Tom Riddle.
Please don’t misunderstand me, luv. I adore it. It’s hauntingly beautiful and to heartbreakingly real for words. There are a few things that I think could use some work, however, and you know that I am not one to mince words. Nell’s reactions here have slowly gone from the likely to the melodramatic – almost to the point of hilarity. I know you aren’t intending for her to be funny, but it’s coming across a bit silly. Your subject matter is very sensitive and you need to be extremely cautious when handling it. While your existing Beta has done a wonderful job (remember, I do have the originals of all these chapters…), you may want to consider consulting someone who has been through what your ‘Nell’ has – or something similar.
However, I can feel her terror – it’s wonderfully well-written. I cringe along with her at the sight of a black-haired boy, and I adore her friend, so self-absorbed that she can’t seem to notice that there is something wrong with Nell – very real. Many people go through horrible experiences with friends like these. People too shallow to notice that something is wrong with their ‘friend’. Your story is enchanting – in a twisted sort of way.
Congratulations on your nominations….
Author's Response: I agree, the Snape Characterization is off, but that is mostly because when I started this story, he was so many different characters. It started out that he was Malfoy... then I wrote more and changed my mind, so I changed the name... moved the time period... and he WAS Tom for a point... but then, I'm addicted to the Marauder era... Snape is the only creepy guy we know of then... ... About the real-ness to the story... I AM consulting someone who was in a similar situation as Nell... Not just my Beta... Everyone would react differently in situations like this, would theynot? I give said person a rough draft, get critiques, fix it, send it to LeahFace. This is a very sensative topic and I wouldn't go into it without doing my best to keep it as real as possible. Thanks for such a good review. I like to get all the comments. Even if yopu were nervous I would hate you *smirk* I don't. I appreciate the honesty. *hugs* Thanks, Kasey!
it was totally worth it!
Author's Response: good to know! :D
I loved the writing!!! you are so good... i'll read the nex chapter tomorrow...
Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for reviewing!