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Reviews For Safe Haven

Name: SimpleMinds (Signed) · Date: 03/27/07 15:35 · For: Chapter 9 - Organized Chaos
Amazing fic. With an original scenario! Keep it up!

Author's Response: Why THANK you very much for your review! I have worked hard on finding an original scenerio in my head to get onto paper so I am glad that you have noticed. I appreciate you taking the time to drop in and hope you are able to enjoy the rest of the fic. ~Nicole

Name: Sly Severus (Signed) · Date: 03/24/07 13:24 · For: Chapter 9 - Organized Chaos
Nice, Nicole.

I love the developing friendship between Draco and Ron. I never thought that I would see that and be able to believe it, but you handled it very well.

I also liked Draco's very Malfoy sounding speech to the Grangers. It's cute because no matter how much he may hate it, he will always be a Malfoy.

I really enjoyed this chapter. I think it was one of your best. Keep up the good work.


Name: Rita Writer (Signed) · Date: 02/25/07 22:01 · For: Chapter 8 - Finishing Touches

I really like the mood of this chapter, simply because it goes well with the last one. You had a lot of different things going on at once in the last one, and now thing’s have sort of calmed down and connected back together. I’ve always liked explanation chapters, because I was always more interested in the characters’ reactions than events.

I have a bit of a random suggestion, so I’ll use this excerpt as an example:

“Blimey, Harry. Malfoy told you ALL of that? No truth serum? I dunno, mate. It seems to me like he was a little too willing to share.” Ron stopped walking and looked at Harry with a look of utter disbelief.

This is the kind of dialogue you want to split up a lot of times, because it changes thought about half way through. One moment Ron is disbelieving, the next he doubts (which are close, but still different). I’d suggest adding something simple like “he asked” between Not truth serum? and I dunno, mate. Also, just in this particular passage, Ron stops walking at a sort of awkward moment. He says all of that and then looks all shocked. That’d be like me saying, “Oh my gosh, are you serious? I can’t believe this! Wow!” and then stopping to clasp my hands over my face. It just comes off as being a bit delayed.

Now that I think about it, you could have had a lot of fun with Mr. and Mrs. Granger; I imagine that they’d be quite out of it, especially after we’ve seen Lockhart when he’s been Obliviated. Of course, his went wrong, but I still imagine that they’d be a bit coo coo.

You’ve got a wonderful way of keeping your chapters moving. Something always happens at the very end, whether it’s urgent or laid back. I have to admit, you don’t see that too often. Go you!

Name: mugglegurl (Signed) · Date: 02/24/07 21:10 · For: Chapter 8 - Finishing Touches
It took me forever to find the time to read the past two chapters-- I apologize, I've been lazy. Anyways, I really like Draco's characterization. It's hard to find a good Draco fic where he's not some sex-god or a soft, kind-hearted spirit. You show in this fic that he's a good-guy now (I hope), yet he's still arrogant and slightly stuck-up. Like his first conversation with Ron in this fic. He's still completely cheeky, and that's what I loved, along with his jokes with Harry. At first I had a problem with him giving Hermione a "puppy pout", but then I thought about it some more, and I realized it's probably what he did with his mother to get what he wanted. Most spoiled brats do. The idea of him doing that with Hermione is slightly humorous; it's like she took place of his mother.

One thing I didn't get, though, is that Mr. Weasley erased Hermione's parents' memories. With the war that's going on, and the fact that Hermione is a key-witch in the war, I'd think that they would let them keep the memories and explain to them the danger they're in. I guess I can see why you did it, though-- they're Muggles, and it would probably be good for them to not be in-the-know about Voldemort and all that until it was completely necessary.

Back to characterization: I really enjoyed Ron, too. He's the same loyal, Malfoy-hating kid we see in the books. And while he's still hesitant about Draco, he trusts his friends enough to give him a chance. This seems very Ron-like to me, and I know it's hard writing him as spot-one as you do. He's often depicted as over-dramatic and an idiot, yet you still keep him over-protective, without being melodramatic, and still slightly clueless, without being a full-blown thick-headed git.

Well done. Can't wait for the next chapter!

Name: Sly Severus (Signed) · Date: 02/22/07 18:06 · For: Chapter 8 - Finishing Touches
Yay, Nikki! They're so cute. I always liked the idea of Draco getting along with trio. You write them together well. Good job.

Author's Response: Whew. I got the e-mail alert about having anew review and I was worried about getting my first flame! Thank you for making my night. I'm updating as quickly as I can without risking poor quality fiction. I value your imput! ~Nicole

Name: Sly Severus (Signed) · Date: 02/02/07 14:42 · For: Chapter 7 - Building Bridges
Cute. Although, Hermione seemed to recover from the Dark Mark rather quickly.

I liked the line about Lucius being clumsy. I can't imagine it, but I found it rather funny.

Very good chapter. :D

Name: Rita Writer (Signed) · Date: 01/28/07 22:28 · For: Chapter 6 - Go Take A Walk, Hermione . . . NOW.

I’m constantly loving your character development in each chapter, and finally in this one we see Draco actually being protective of Hermione. Harry and Draco are comfortably working together to get out of a sticky situation.

He needed her out of the house but she would never go for that reason alone. If it was her home they were specifically targeting, she needed not to be in it when and if they arrived. Additionally, the last thing they needed was to have her parents come through the door at just the right moment.

You’ve done a great job of clearing up any confusion I had when beta-ing; now everything fits together perfectly! I’m actually pretty impressed; I was going to suggest something to help, but I honestly could think of a thing! Kudos for you!

The cold cackling voice made Harry’s blood boil. :D I dunno why, but “cold cackling” makes me grin it’s so descriptive. Mainly because it’s not overused (I can’t think of I time when I’ve read it at all!).

You’re bad about cliff-hangers! Meanie! But I know what happens next, ‘cause I’m the beta! *sticks tongue out at other reviewers* (Only joking!) Which reminds me, I’ll probably have your next chapter back to you tomorrow or Tuesday at the latest.

Author's Response: *is impressed that I have stumped my beta* No corrections/suggestions? WOOT!

Name: Sly Severus (Signed) · Date: 01/21/07 21:28 · For: Chapter 6 - Go Take A Walk, Hermione . . . NOW.
Nice. Not as traumatizing as expected. :D

This might sound strange, but I should hate your story, but I absolutly love it. You do the opposite with some of my fav characters than I do and I'm still here hammering for more. Normally, I don't get past the first chapter of a story when Draco and Lucius have this kind of relationship. That should tell you that you are indeed a wonderful author.

Very well done, Nicole. *huggles* Can't wait for more. :D

Author's Response: *dabs eyes with tissue* That was such a sweet thing to say, you have no idea. My fellow Slytherin and fierce Bella protector likes my work? I must be doing something right.

Name: mugglegurl (Signed) · Date: 01/21/07 19:10 · For: Chapter 6 - Go Take A Walk, Hermione . . . NOW.
Yay! Finally, some sort of update in my favorites. It was a good chapter, a bit thrilling, you know? But I don't think Bella and Lucius would've left that early... But the Dark Mark was a good touch.

Name: Sly Severus (Signed) · Date: 01/07/07 23:26 · For: Chapter 5 - You Have My Attention
Aww, this was much less traumatizing. And rather amusing actually. I like the interactions between the three of them. Very cute. But poor Ron is all alone. He's going to be furious when he finds out what's been going on.

I really do like your story, even if your portrayl of Bella is somewhat traumatizing.;) Good Job!

Name: Sly Severus (Signed) · Date: 01/07/07 23:10 · For: Chapter 4 - A Bit Awkward
Nicole!!! I am now beyond traumatized. I thought I was safe til chapter seven. Bella hurt Draco! *cries* Cissy is dead. *cries some more*

Okay, this wasn't the most traumatizing one I have read yet, but still. As I'm sure you know, I don't think Bella would hurt her nephew. I'm not sure that she particularly cares for him, but she knows how much Narcissa loves him. But you've heard my rambling on this topic before.:D

Speaking of Narcissa, what happened to her. I kind of got the impression Lucius might have killed her. Draco seems very against his father.


I'm going to the fourms now to see if you're there to tell me if I should keep reading or if it will traumatize me for life.

Oh, but the chapter was really well done. Very nice. I liked the interaction between Draco and Harry. I had trouble believing Hermione would get that upset over Draco's remark thourh. Otherwise, it was very good.

Author's Response: I'm sorry... I forgot to warn you. I didn't think you would get to it right away the way you said, "I promise to get to everyone's fanfics eventually"! Actually, I was rereading the story today while organizing it and saw the comment you referred to. I see your point but I am not sure if I want to go in and rewrite it quite yet. Maybe after the story is done. It's a small note in the scheme of things especially considering that so far I have 21 chapters of this written. It's going to be a huge fanfic. I hope I live to see it end! *huggles*

Name: Sly Severus (Signed) · Date: 01/07/07 22:57 · For: Chapter 3 - An Adjustment
Aww, poor guy. He got his butt kicked on the very first assignment. *huggles Draco. I loved Harry's questions. "Is this a house?" etc. That part was really cute.

Again, you have a lovely style. Your writing hooks the reader in. Well done.

Name: Sly Severus (Signed) · Date: 01/07/07 22:50 · For: Chapter 2
I have never heard of Draco staying at Hermione's house before. I like it. Interesting idea. But I still can't figure out the timeline for this. Is it supposed to be do-over of sixth year? Very good, though.

Name: Sly Severus (Signed) · Date: 01/07/07 22:40 · For: Chapter 1- Taking the Bait
I finally made it, Nicole. So you should warn me if Chapter Seven will truly devestate me.')

Anyway, nice chapter. You have a very smooth writing style. I like it. Not much plot for me to comment on yet, but it held my interest and at the moment that is a major accomplishment.

I am a little confused as to when this is taking place though. Will that be cleared up as I keep reading.

Anyway, lovely chapter.

Name: mugglegurl (Signed) · Date: 01/01/07 21:43 · For: Chapter 5 - You Have My Attention
I read your whole story tonight, and I really enjoyed it. The characters didn't seem too bad OOC, and you have some really funny moments in here, too. Is Draco ever going to meet Hermione's parents?

Author's Response: *gasps* I passed ten reviews!!! *does happy dance* Thank you! I am glad you are enjoying it. Yes, in answer to your question, he will but it won't be a formal introduction. It will be clear that they know each other at one point in... I think... the next chapter. I need to get that one sent to my beta. I forgot the queue reopens tomorrow! - Nicole (NikkiSue)

Name: Rita Writer (Signed) · Date: 12/31/06 23:59 · For: Chapter 5 - You Have My Attention
*reviews despite not having beta-ed chapter*

*grins* Looks like you’ve become more popular with the reviewers lately! Just wait until you get more chapters up!

I’m liking your character development so far; while beta-ing, I know I warn you a lot not to rush, but if you slow it down, it’ll seem unnatural to you, right? Besides, I think five chapters all around 1,000 words is a pretty well-paced development. ;)

I’m glad you mentioned Ron in this chapter. He needed mentioning, and I sort of wondered if he was up to anything interesting.

I know I sort of load you up on random tips that don’t really seem to come out of anywhere, so here’s another: Why don’t you try adding some metaphors and similes into your writing? It gives you like then “wow” points when people read your works. Plus it just sounds pretty and flows well. /my two cents

I’m afraid I don’t have anything more to say. :/ Not very constructive of me. Although I’m sure whoever beta-ed for you did a wonderful job with that (although I could already tell that from the story)!

Author's Response: Thanks for stopping by! (and thank you for your ideas as I try to take everyone's into consideration.) I was glad that it was finally Ron's turn to join the story. I have this written well into the 20th chapter and knew he was in there but it was nice to give him "screentime." He's a huge character later on, I promise. (moreso than Harry, actually.)

Name: Viv (Signed) · Date: 12/22/06 19:11 · For: Chapter 5 - You Have My Attention
I'm having a fun time to picture Malfoy playing at a Muggle game. Actually, I have never read a AU fic before so I have to adjust a little bit. But you still have a good writing, a funny way to turn your sentences. And your dialogues are good too! Great story! I hope you'll update soon!

Author's Response: *huggles* Thanks for your insights, Viv. I know AU fics are an adjustment for those who are used to sricktly canon stories but I promise I will try to hold your attention the best I can. I'll answer any questions you have as well, just let me know! (I have this thing written already well into the 18th chapter, hehe. We're in for a long ride.)

Name: Viv (Signed) · Date: 12/22/06 18:57 · For: Chapter 4 - A Bit Awkward
Ah! Now that's even more interesting! Bellatrix comes in. Malfoy is indeed OOC, we're not used to see him act like that. But you did warn us! It's a bit weird, but I like the way you tell things. It's smooth and easy to read. Good job!

Name: Viv (Signed) · Date: 12/22/06 18:41 · For: Chapter 3 - An Adjustment
I want answers too! What happened to the poor Malfoy? By the way, I really like your writing, it's fluid and nice to read. You've got an interesting story here, dear! I want more! And I'll get some with the next chapter, yeah! :p

Name: Viv (Signed) · Date: 12/22/06 18:24 · For: Chapter 2
Ah well! Draco Malfoy, of course! Even if Hermione is a smart girl and can understand that what she has to do is important for the Order, to think that Draco will maybe appear at her house must be weird. At least Harry's going to be with her. I like the way you portray Dumbledore, we can recognize pretty well his character in your writing. The only thing that I noticed is that the teenagers seem to have a more mature way of speaking, you know they use more complex words and everything. It's... unusual! But interesting! The next chapter is waiting for me!

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