This was a satisfying story in its own rite. Your characterisation of Hermione and Charlie was very good, and I enjoyed reading it very much.
I can't really see Ron and Harry leaving her behind though, but adding it to the story helped add to Hermione's wounds, and made the last line all that much more powerful, in a way.
I love the way you write, as well. You're very good at the subtle hints here, and it adds to the story in a great way. =)
Keep on writing! I'll be sure too look at them!
I was very impressed when I read this fic. I'd never really read a Hermione/Charlie fic before, and I quite enjoyed this one.
The description in this fic was quite stunning. It really set the mood and was flawlessly done. There weren’t any moments while I was reading where I was able to say, “Oh, the author is using description to set the scene, now.” Instead, the description was perfectly integrated into the plot, which I really enjoyed.
The characterizations of Charlie and Hermione were also extremely good. Hermione's reactions and Charlie's thoughts were so well done and everything seemed so real.
The last line was an absolutely beautiful line. I was so glad that it didn’t end with a declaration of his love for her - it would have been horribly cliched and much to fast. Rather, I really like this idea that he is making a commitment to care for her and an eventual promise to love her once they’ve both healed. And the sappy romantic inside of me just sighed happily.
I really enjoyed this story. Thank you so much.
This is very good, if continued it could be a very good fan fic. Possibly the only of it's kind (HG/CW that is) Keep it up! ; )=
Well. I, for one, am amazed.
I don’t normally read much Hermione / Other Character, so I was surprised at how much I enjoyed this. The way you set the stage for this scene made me totally able to understand every single reaction that the characters had.
I also loved your descriptions. They were so vivid that I felt as if I was watching it unfold before my eyes, instead of reading about it on this wonderful site. Especially when you were describing Charlie’s reactions to what the Death Eaters did to the dragons, I felt that Charlie was a real person and that the dragon’s really had been abused.
All in all, I think you did an amazing job. I hope you keep writing!
Oh, Lex! *squee* That is so adorable! Guh. I totally heart Charlie right now. I think I’ve just switched from Bill to Charlie … Wow. This is amazing on so many levels.
Firstly, I love the way Charlie is so honest with Hermione. He completely opens up to her and shows her that he trusts her, allowing her to trust him. He’s fabulous, the way he drew her out and really got to know her. Hermione was perfect, too – very insightful and understanding – especially when she was able to read into Charlie’s tone and see how much the mistreated dragons hurt him. I like that we’ve never really seen this side of Hermione before, this soft, lonely person that she’s always been. And I love that Charlie is the one to bring that out.
I also really enjoyed the way you portrayed Hermione’s relationship with Harry and Ron. I’d never considered that she might have felt left out, but it makes perfect sense the way you say it. They were always fighting, it’s true! Her loneliness is understandable and very accessible. I can see pieces of me in her, and this makes her more real to me. I also believe what you’ve said about her family seeing her as a criminal, a killer – that again is so plausible. The way Charlie comforts her and shows her that her family was wrong is just … guh. Where can I get a man like that? I love the way they joke with each other before realising that they wouldn’t mind being together. Charlie’s vision of Hermione in his Dragon Healer shack made me ache with its sweetness – and it seems that Hermione’s affirmative answer made Charlie ache, too! Aww. The ending is wonderful, too – it ends with a jest and a promise, and that just seems so fitting of who Charlie and Hermione are. I love the second to last line – “He didn’t want to wipe at the sparkling tear streaks that remained on her skin for fear of disturbing this pocket of peace that he stumbled into.” It’s wonderful. The whole thing is wonderful, Lex.
I had only one little comment about your use of ellipses. Sometimes you have spaces between each full stop, and sometimes you don’t. I found that the ellipses with spaces were a little distracting, so you might want to consider making them all the same. But that’s my only nit-pick! This is simply fabulous, Lex. Good work!
Author's Response: lol! I actually have heard that before! I have a love of those pauses, and I know I tend to overuse them. I'm making an effort to incorporate pauses in other ways. Thank you so much for reading! I hope I get to chat with you soon.
You have a true gift for descriptions, you really do. The small details you include add so much depth to the narrative that it’s easy to picture the scene as you’ve envisioned it.
Now, however, there only lingered a distinct smell that managed to creep its way even through the delicious scent of his mother’s roast. It was an intoxicating, insidious scent. It was the smell of remaining torment. The stain of malicious intent.
Perhaps it was all in his head, though.
This is so effective – it really puts the reader into Charlie’s head without a lot of supposition, and I love your description of the dragons – so un-romanticized, yet very realistic. I mean, they really are just great big lizards, aren’t they? *grin*
I love the way you’ve brought them together. Their union is just so melancholy, yet achingly sweet. This is sort of the aftermath I always imagined after the World Wars; people desperately seeking comfort in a world that seemed broken. The growing promise of love is lovely – and makes Charlie very appealing. *grin*
This is really, truly wonderful, and really shows how much you’ve grown as a writer since writing Six Year.
From the opening line, you’ve characterised them all perfectly. Mrs. Weasley is Mrs. Weasley as we know and love her and Charlie is quite the unusual, unwitting romantic hero. Hermione’s apathy is very interesting, and though I don’t like the way Mrs. Weasley treats the girl, I can’t say I blame her one mite.
The description of the Burrow is fascinating, and I adore the lingering odour you mention. The duties of a Dragon Keeper are fascinating, not at all what I would have imagined, but realistic and different nonetheless. The banter of mother and son is well done. Very well done. I love the back and forth between them, showing their love and respect for one another while still keeping to the traditional roles. Very clever.
She only grinned back at him before taking each step more warily than the next.
I’m fairly certain you meant ‘wearily’, not ‘warily’ in this sentence. Warily is watchfully, like prey looks at the predator stalking it. Only someone who worked with dragons could be so insensitive as Charlie was to Hermione with that opening.
I adore the pain in Charlie’s voice, which is heartbreakingly evident , as he talks about what happened with the dragons during Voldemort’s reign. I also think it’s fantastic that you don’t have him saying Voldemort’s name - still refers to him as ‘You-Know-Who’. That’s wonderful. So many authors write post-Hogwarts fics and everyone calls him Voldemort - which you just know they wouldn’t really do.
Newbriar is such a sweet story, by the way. I find it very endearing that a man who works with Dragons all day adopted one as a surrogate family. That’s very, very cute.
“No one belongs anywhere. It’s like it’s a part of being alive. You live, knowing full well you’ll never fully be a part of anything around you.” That’s the most depressing thing I’ve ever heard in my life. Hermione’s tale is interesting, though the voice isn’t hers, to me. I think it is very strange that she didn’t feel that she and Ron and Harry were really all friends together - it’s a common thought among people who have two very close friends…common for one to feel left out. So, while it doesn’t seem very Hermione-ish to me, it makes sense and I won’t argue with it.
I think it’s very interesting that you’ve got Hermione’s parents rejecting her for her actions and her magic. While I’ve always imagined them as being uncomfortable around their brilliant, magical daughter, I never thought they’d disown her that way. Very creative.
I nearly died when Charlie realises that he’s pretty much proposed to Hermione and panics. Especially as he realises that she’s considering it! Too funny - a nice bit of humour (at least for any woman) in an otherwise very intense story.
“Yes?” His eyes lit up and he felt completely stupid, but didn’t care. They were looking at each other, and suddenly he felt a sense of obligation toward Hermione. I don’t think what he’s feeling is obligation - I think he’s a bit confused myself. *giggles*
She made some movement with her eyes that he couldn’t quite see, Rolled them, perhaps? *giggles* I couldn’t help but laugh there, imagining, not the Hermione of old, quite, but the Hermione you’ve described with the old Hermione peeking through. I could almost imagine Ron’s face at the sight too. Very good line. Well placed and well-executed.
I will love you some day, Hermione. Aw…that’s so sad.
Over all, it was definitely one of the better fics I’ve ever read.
Author's Response: Yay! Thank you for your review. Actually, I did mean warily. Hermione's not QUITE totally comfortable about the whole thing. The Hermione in this version is not quite the old Hermione. She's been through death, watching her two best friends leave her, and when she felt there was so much potential there. She's basically completely broken inside, and the only way she would agree to be with Charlie is IF she was that dead in her heart. As far as Hermione's parents...they knew that death and disruption was happening in their world, and I'm sure Hermione let them know it was a magical war...but hearing that your daughter is at the fore of nearly every single battle, actually hurting and killing people- especially when you can't really see the major harm the 'bad guys' are doing...they began to see her as a monster. Thank you, darling Kasey!
I just read through around 50% of your stories because the descriptions got my attention. You are such a gifted storyteller.
Author's Response: Thank you very much. :) I'm glad you've enjoyed them. I've updated with three new stories if you would like to read.
It is wonderful. Please keep up with the good work.
Author's Response: Thank you. I shall try. ;)
Wow, I really loved that. May I say that your grasp of the atmosphere is truly quite amazing.
I loved all the background you slipped in about Voldemort using dragons in the first war. It was a conduit to show us how much Charlie cared about the dragons, and you really characterized him well.
The impromptu proposal was absolutely wonderful. This is romance like I've never seen it before...in that it's not-quite romance. The last line was perfect. Definitely going straight to favorites.
Author's Response: Thank you so much!
aww thats so cute. wow not many ppl do charlie hermione fics (well i hvnt read any, sue me). really adorable though... but the fact that ron and hermione wouldn't work together made me sad... but still thats life (or fan fiction w/e). gr8 story!
Author's Response: Thank you for reading :).