Wow, Anna, if I have to judge from this one story, I'd have to say that you're one of the best authors I've read.
I've always assumed that the Weasleys were always the nice, not anti-muggle family that they are. But when I think about it, they're probably related to the Blacks, and they probably were rather very anti-Muggle as well. What made them change? That's a good thing about this fic-- it maes you think.
What I really liked about this fic is that you managed to capture the essence of old time London, of the period. It felt like one of those old black and white movies, or like some old musical. I could actually feel the settings, and that totally made the fic for me. Your choice of words and the speech and the setting and everything together is a perfect combination to evoke the mood.
All your characters are really well done-- Agatha Weasley seems like an old pureblood mother, Charles seems like a slightly overshadowed younger brother, a momma's boy, John is a young, Muggle-curious rebel, and Elsie Carlisle... My, Elsie is an awesome, strong character, and I really love her.
I do have a few minor nitpicks, however. The spelling of Elsie's name is a little confused-- in places you call her Elsie, but in other parts her name is spelt Elise. Wikipedia says it's Elsie, so I suppose you should clear that up.
You make my sad heard jump with joy, and when you’re near, I just can’t sit still another minute!
I think you mean heart instead of heard here. :D This fic is devoid of any spelling, grammatical or punctuation mistakes other than this, or at the very least, I couldn't find any.
The meeting between Johnny and Elsie was really good, their chemistry was wonderful. Elsie's character was further improved in this scene, and I'd love to see another fic featuring these two. :D
I love the song Oh, Johnny, Oh! (though I did first hear it in 2005 whilst watching Lion ^.^) This is a comical, charismatic story. The writing flows well and I LOVE Mrs. Weasley's reactions. Your characters seem to come alive in the story. Bravo!~
Anna, Anna, Anna. What a beautiful story. This is different from what I usually read, but I find nothing wrong with a little light-heartedness every once in a while. :)
Let me just start off by saying that I chose to read this story because of the title and the title only. I absolutely adore it. It’s so simple, so classic, so… amazingly perfect. *loves upon title* Now back to the actual story. *shifty eyes*
Wizard interactions with Muggles are something that I guess I never really think about, but now that I’ve read this, it’s fun to think about all the different views on Muggles that Wizards can have. It’s really interesting, reading about a character like Arthur, who would voluntarily want to experience Muggle culture, and go to a place like Sergeant Sally. All I could think while reading about Sergeant Sally was “Mr Weasley would just love this.” John’s family, on the other hand, was also very interesting to read about in relation to John – it was a nice contradiction; John’s family being so opposed to Muggle culture, while John himself was very open to it.
Possibly my favourite thing about this story was how much thought and research you put into it. This story, unlike a lot that I both see and write, seems to be yours. I think that, giving the exception of a few HP phrases like “Apparated”, this story could have completely stood independent of the Potter books. You put so much into this one shot that it’s like you created your own little world. It’s hard to believe that John, Charles, and Agatha Weasley aren’t actually characters in the books, because of the distinct personalities that you gave each of them. Like in your very first line,
“Muggles everywhere! I do not understand why we simply couldn’t have Apparated.”
*giggles* I get such a powerful impression of Agatha from this sentence. I haven’t been reading the story for a minute, and I already can tell that this person is very magical, and rather fussy. Therefore, I must conclude that your dialogue is simply pwning, dear Anna, to be able to give us such a substantial glimpse of these characters’ personalities. Another example is this line, “There is nothing wrong with the Mad-House! They have the funniest plays in Britain!” You put so much into Agatha’s character that it’s seriously hard to believe that she’s not really Mr Weasley’s great-grandmother.
And, as I mentioned above, I really admire how much research you put into this. Being the lazy person that I am, I hardly ever put background research into anything I write, but I love that you used real people and songs in this story. The way you managed to connect our world and the HP world was just brilliant.
“My name is John Weasley,” he whispered.
“I know,” she breathed at his neck, “but you always looked like a Johnny to me.”
o.o *dies* That was my favourite line in this whole story. It is just… guh. I love how you wrote Elsie as having such a strong personality; it’s always fun to read about characters like her. Did you find out a lot about Elsie’s personality through research, or did you invent her characterization?
I’ve only got one piece of concrit for you, and it is this: Throughout this story you’ve been inconsistent with your use of Elsie and Elise. Earlier on, like in lines like this, “My name is Elise Carlisle, and I will sing you a few songs tonight” she’s referred to as “Elise”, and in later lines like ““Really?” Elsie got up from the chair and pushed her flowing, golden hair back over her shoulders,” she’s called Elsie. That’s the only nitpick that I can find for you.
Anyway, I really enjoyed reading this story! I love all your characters dearly, and I can really see them being a part of the books. I look forward to reading (and quite possibly reviewing!) more of your work in the future! *hugs*
This was a really interesting and well written story. I very much liked the way you encorperated the variety of songs an lyrics into the main body of the fiction, it really drew it together and made it more historically believable. You also do a very good job in keeping the nature of the Roaring Twenties both in clothing and the visible cultural differences between the generations. The Mother's shock at the drink "between the sheets," really helped to drive home the way boundries were being pushed at that time after the far more prudish victorian era.
I do have a few nitpicks that seem slightly out of place. The first is your reference to John Weasley acting as a "guide dog" to his mother. I believe this phrase is rather anachonisic in the situation. Also, there is a point at which the mother uses the line, "Aww, I need to use the ladies room." With her prudish nature as well as conservative upbringing, she would be much more discrete about such a line. Also, I'm not sure that ladies' room would be the phrase at the time, I believe that is a more modern euphimism, but I'm not sure. You would have to look that up.
Overall, however, you have written a brilliant piece. The character's are believable and I really like the inclusion of Trelawny and her predicitons for Jonh and what would later be Arthur. I wish we could have seen a bit more Charles as he was often overshadowed by John, but for fitting it all into a one shot this was really well done.
I look forward to reading more of your work!
Anna! Your story is so good!
You've almost written your own fiction here! I love how you took things from real life and other things that are canon and had them flow together so smoothly.
I was very surpised at how good this way!
In the SBBC, we're discussing a Historical fic, and yours was chosen! Congratulations!
I've never read very much of Historical, so I wasn't quite sure what to expect, but if any of the other stories are like yours is, I'm hooked! :D
John's personality reminded me a bit of Arthur, Ron, and Bill blended together. I'm not sure if you did that on purpose, but it was certainly a very nice touch to the story.
So, on an ending note, congratulations (again) on an excellent job well done! If you ever think about writing John Weasley again in another fic, I say go for it! He seems very well-rounded and developed already, but I think you could turn him into something truly wonderful if you put your mind to it. :)
Have a nice day!
“Muggles everywhere! I do not understand why we simply couldn’t have Apparated.”
*Giggles* This was a good opening. It was also rather misleading. Immediately, I thought this story would be about an older generation of Blacks. However, when they arrived at a Muggle restaurant, I figured it wasn’t them. I would have never guessed the Weasleys though. I always assumed that they were always opened to Muggles, although I really like the idea that maybe they weren’t always like that.
The description in this was also wonderful. It felt like I was there in the club. I loved the way the mother complained. It all seemed so true to life. This was really well done.
I also thought that the family tapestry was a good touch. This was something else that I envisioned as solely a Black thing, but it’s interesting to see other pure-blood families using similar traditions.
Anyway, this was a wonderful story and I enjoyed the peek at Arthur’s ancestors. Very entertaining and well done.
Wow. What a fantastic story! I’ve been meaning to read this ever since it got picked for the BA challenge and now it’s on the to-read list for my class so I thought I’d read it. :p
I love the atmosphere in this story – everything from the characterisations to the descriptions scream 1920s vintage – you’ve done a fantastic job! I love Agatha Weasley; she sounds like such a dear. From this story I kind of get the idea that her views and stereotypes stem from the way that she was brought up, and perhaps, what her parents taught her. Her character at heart doesn’t seem too stubborn towards Muggles – or maybe she trusts her sons; but my point is that she doesn’t seem to hate them in the way that some do, which in turn I guess makes the story possible.
John’s character too, is awesome. I really like the teasing way that he talks to his mother:
“Now, come, dear mother, you seemed to like that garlic chicken well enough?” teased the tall, handsome man.
A simple comment, but I loved it. I can see from this how John has managed to get his mother to agree to come here and to stay long enough to eat a meal/watch a show. Though he seems to be teasing his mother throughout this story I get the impression that he’s doing this for a bit of fun – he loves his mother but wants to loosen her up and soften her views perhaps.
“Oh, I already know what to get you,” his brother chuckled. “It’s a brand new Muggle mix called Between the Sheets.”
*falls off chair laughing* I love this. Cocktails always seem to have odd names and I like how you’ve added this in – gives Agatha a bit of a shock. It’s very realistic too – as this story progressed I got a vivid impression of Agatha’s character, I could see how she acts, her movements and expressions from the way she talks and the way that her sons act around her. Wow.
Something that I truly loved about this story was its setting – I’ve not read many stories in the fandom set around this time yet I could tell immediately from this that you’ve done your research and made this fic as realistic as possible…I felt like I was reading it in sepia, haha.
I love the names that you have for things. Sergeant Sally gives the place a war-time sort of feel, and I found it quite ironic that this muggle place seems pretty comparable with wizarding clubs at the time, like the ones that Agatha mentioned; Merlin’s Madhouse and The Trafalgar tenor. All alliterated – not so different huh?!
There is just one part of the story which confused me a little. The Seer your father and I took him to said nothing about a bizarre interest in all things Muggle! She foresaw that he would marry as a young man and give me seven grandchildren!
If the grandchildren that Agatha is referring to are the Weasley children that we know in canon, shouldn’t this be great-grandchildren, if you state at the end that it is John’s son’s son who is Arthur Weasley? Just a thought. :)
A bar hovered at the other end of the room, like a small island of light and glass bottle reflections in a sea of shadows and smoke from Muggle cigarettes.
I love this description – in fact, all of your descriptions are pretty awesome. I really like how little things like this constantly remind the reader what time period this is; very authentic. Wow! :D
And that part at the end with Elsie…very nicely done. I like how powerful and in control you’ve made her. It seems to go with the way that she sings, and I guess, the way that singers were back in those times.
This is a fantastic story! *loves* *adds to favourites* *squee*
Ooh, I loved it! I've heard about how great this story was, so I had to see it for myself. I loved how you characterised Agatha- she reminded me very much of Molly, but with a little flair. Excellent job! :)
This was a fantastic story. I have to admit, the entire time I was searching the hp-lexicon for this so called John Weasley. When I couldn't find him it just drew my interest more and more. This really was lovely and I liked the personality connections to Arthur.
Heehee, Anna, I love it. Simple as that. I'm looking forward to making a banner for this for the BA monthly challenge!
Oh Anna, that was wonderful.
You may have noticed my obsession with the naughty twenties and this is pure chocolate for my soul =D
I love that the Seer foresaw that he would have seven children and work for the Ministry. That made me smile and also realise who he was.
I noticed one mistake. In 'Oh, Johnny' it says 'You make my sad heard jump with joy'. That should have been heart, right?
But that was just one little typo and didn't ruin the joyous experience it was to read this. I could feel myself sitting at one of the candlelit tables in a fabulous red dress (with matching lipstick) a dark rum in one hand and a cigarette in the other listening to all that jazz ;-)
-feels sorry for having left a short review-
Min älsking! Du är häpnadsväckande! *insert Jenna’s hope that she hasn’t managed to misuse a word*. Oh, I should have reviewed this sooner. But, alas, here I am.
The men in suits were quickly being replaced by people in casual outfits, some more daring than others. I start here, because I just love the way you narrate, my dear. I mean, I always do. It makes me green with envy. It’s just… lovely. *sigh* I can’t describe it, but the little additions you make. You do more than just describe something enough to give the reader imagery, but you also don’t weigh down your writing with tons of descriptive words. You write delicately, with a little additional flavour here and there, […some more daring than others]. Your world is so colourful. You’re narration reminds me very much of F. Scott Fitzgerald and W. Somerset Maugham.
All the similarities, from hair colour to dress sense, indicated that she must be their mother, and she was looking anything but pleased. Another example of something I like about your writing. It’s the “find a new way to say something” approach. You could have easily said that John and Charlie were walking with their mother, in plain English. But, instead, you made the fact amusing just by choosing to say it differently. Fabulous.
Between the Sheets -- Agatha’s “scandalised” reaction to that was priceless. I most definitely laughed right out loud. Hee. Great way to add some humour and to add characterisation.
The Seer your father and I took him to said nothing about a bizarre interest in all things Muggle! She foresaw that he would marry as a young man and give me seven grandchildren!” I love this. I love little references in “historical” fic that hint at things we know from canon. This is excellent, along with the later mention of Trelawney [and how fabulous is it that you mentioned that just a bit later? It’s much more subtle, and consequently, much more chuckle-worthy]. Once again: accurate, but, perhaps a bit off with her calculations? *grin*
but there was just something about her that caused his ears to burn whenever she looked in his direction. Hee. A Weasley trait, obviously.
he loved the atmosphere, the soft lighting, the anticipation created in the interaction between men and women. I let out a *siiiiigh* here, because this is an instance where your writing touches me not only as the beautiful art form it is, but… personally. That right there, oh, I can just feel it. It’s a wonderful little gem.
He had expected some resistance; resistance that he would have had to overcome with the wits that had made him famous back at Hogwarts. Realllly now? I’d like to hear more about that some day. *cough*
If I were to suggest any improvements, it would just be to italicise the bits where Elsie is singing. It would be more clear; and, even if you’re an attentive reader and know fully well that she’s singing, it would still feel more like she’s singing.
Hee, what else – I have to say, the ending is definitely hot. You’re writing always is. [Well, when you’re writing about such activities.] Your characters have such … tangible chemistry, sometimes I feel like I’m right their with them [*ahem*, not as an addition to their party, but you have an idea what I mean] breathing what they’re breathing, and hearing the subtle sounds that are in their ears. You’re just breath-taking. Um, I mean, you’re writing is breath-taking. >.> Well, you are too, but this is hardly the time or the place to say things like “I love you”, and “you are my world”, and “I only live because you live”, and such fluffy things like that.
As to your characters – oh, how wonderful. John, Charlie, Agatha and Elsie… they’re all very real and three-dimensional. John’s reflections on Arthur Weasley are wonderful. Not just because you took little things and added them into his personality, but… you gave a foundation for Arthur, and they’re based in a character who is not thoroughly Arthur-like, as many writers might have done. John is John Weasley, not just a shadow of Arthur. Agatha is wonderful. And, her name, excellently chosen. And, Elsie, well… I’d like to be friends with her. *giggle* She seems interesting.
Just now, as I was rereading this, the part where she begins to sing “Oh, Johnny” and there is that…. *exhales loudly*, I don’t know. I can’t describe it. You know what it is, I know you do. But, the room feels very hot and it seems it’s just Elsie and John… I don’t know. Tension isn’t the word. Nor chemistry. It’s that – but it’s even more. It’s just that moment where you feel attraction and the air is thick with it… you’re trying to interpret that moment when your heart is beating quickly and your thoughts are flying even faster. And, you’re wishing for something to happen, or wishing for something to mean something and… guh. *exhales loudly again*.
And, then, I love the open ending. From what we know of the Weasleys, the immediate ancestry is pureblood. So, one can only assume that John’s encounter with Elsie… well, whatever happened [hotonenightstand!] or whatever it became [omgsordidloveaffair!], it ended and they moved on. And, so, this is like tasting an unforgettable moment. A wonderful secret that we’ve been let in on. A beautiful encounter.
Anna! *hugs* I still owe you a review from when we were SPEW buddies back in November. I know that was ages ago, but better late than never, right? I read this story for the first time on LJ sometime this summer but never got around to reviewing it. I loved “Oh, Johnny” in Narnia and was really disappointed that it wasn’t on the soundtrack, but after reading your story I just had to listen to it again. So I googled it and found a website where you could listen to it but not download it. I listened to the song for two days straight, all because of your wonderful story. Sadly I didn’t save the link anywhere and can’t find it anymore.
I absolutely love this story. It’s marvellous, my dear. I love historical fictions, but most of the fan fictions I’ve read or skimmed in this category didn’t really make the time they were set in come to life for me. This story though made the 1920s seem so vivid and every little detail seemed to fit. I don’t know too much about this particular period, but the atmosphere of your story seemed fitting.
Your characters, too, are completely adorable. Mrs Weasley is hilarious in her shocked and later scandalised state. Charles was fun, too. I love how you also included one of Trelawney’s ancestors and let her make a prophecy about John that would come true only in a later generation of Weasleys and thus connected Arthur more strongly to John, very nice. I also found it amusing that the Weasleys are a family of Muggle-haters and John would be the first Weasley to be interested in Muggles, and one Muggle singer in particular. I can just see his branch of the family being more and more interested in Muggles, until finally Arthur comes along who is nearly obsessed with anything Muggle.
Now John and Elsie, they are perfect in every sense of the word. I love how John is so sure of himself and confident with Ben and his family, but then doesn’t know what to say or do when faced with Elsie. I love her boldness, too. It’s such a sharp contrast to Mrs Weasley that it makes sense that John would be drawn to her just because she is so different from his mother and from what his mother would deem a respectable woman. Once or twice you spelled her first name ‘Elise’ and not Elsie. Once when she introduces herself on stage, and a second time a bit later, but I can’t remember exactly where.
As I said, what a marvellous story, Anna love. You are truly gifted and I have to give your compliment right back, the way you write in English even though it’s not your first language is nothing short of spectacular! *loves*
Anna! SPEW Buddy! I read this and went, basically, gadzooks! It’s wonderful! The characterization, the one-liners, the atmosphere – guh. I am. In love. With. This. Story. So, I thought I’d choose this one to review. What is it about this story that captures me… You know I lovea good title, and the title? You tied it ALL the way through, and really skillfully too. It didn’t seem oddly placed anywhere in the text, like you’d said “Okay, this is the title, and we’ll randomly make it seem relevant and insert it… here.” The story flows really well from location to location.
You make my sad heard jump with joy, and when you’re near, I just can’t sit still another minute!” I think you mean heart, Anna dearest. And I don’t think I’d be able to stop squirming, either! Are these the real lyrics? If so fantastic background research! Is it sad I almost types “fantasium background research?” But seriously, to go to all the trouble, Anna, that’s great!
“Oh, I already know what to get you,” his brother chuckled. “It’s a brand new Muggle mix called Between the Sheets.” I laughed aloud at this! I love the teasing and the humor and the smutty reference and just... everything about this part of the interaction. It’s priceless. And it reminds me so fondly of the Weasley twins!
He was much too busy taking in the sight of Elise Carlisle’s low-waisted, knee-length frock and how the beads and tassels on it had started to move along with the rhythm of the first chords. I love the description on the dress here! Again, you’ve done your research, but I also like the way you compensate. The low cut, yet knee length. It’s like… every time you take away a little bit of her dignity from the top of her outfit, you add it to the end! It makes me giggle, because the emotions you’ve expressed in this are so real and so human. You’re writing woman-manly, dearest. Woolf would be proud!
“Aww, I need the ladies room!” Agatha complained, I’m not well versed in old-lady speak (Well, at least I hope not!) but I don’t think I’ve ever heard an elderly woman whine. “Awww” sounds a little whiney, but “Ooh,” sounds sort of desperate. Desperation. The need to go to the bathroom. Desperation. Need. Want. “Oh my god I’m going to burst – ooooh! I need to go!” But if you’re like “Awww, shucks. I need to go to the bathroom. Won’t you come with me? Please? Please? Pleeeease?” do you see the difference? Forgive me for my momentary insanity, but I couldn’t stop picturing Agatha tugging on John’s hand to take her to the bathroom.
“My name is John Weasley,” he whispered.
“I know,” she breathed at his neck, “but you always looked like a Johnny to me.” Wow. Sultry! I love this… she’s so in control, in a world that’s dominated by man. I love her sense of self-possessiveness, when at least, here, women were objects of men. She’s her own person, and she controls him. I love the radical attitude you’ve given her!
“I just wish your brother was more like you. More normal. The Seer your father and I took him to said nothing about a bizarre interest in all things Muggle! She foresaw that he would marry as a young man and give me seven grandchildren!” I just couldn’t go without mentioning this priceless quote! This is the most FredandGeorge! personified I’ve seen the boys in this. It’s great. It’s like… their greatness and attitude was passed down to them from these two brothers. A family trait. Fantastic, Anna!
*dusts off clothes as he comes to a stop* I know, I should have reviewed this a long time ago, but like I have said in so many spew reviews [and will, undoubtably, say many more times], better late than never, correct? To introduce my review: You filled my prompt so fully, so completely, and you went so above and beyond what I requested. You handed me perfection, and I was absolutely flabbergasted to know you wrote it. I begged you for more Anna!fic, and my wish was fufilled. *hearts Anna* The premise was fantastic, and I loved how you used everything to your advantage.
I am going to take this paragraph and just elaborate how much I love you. *This paragraph has been interrupted by a squee the size of an atomic bomb going off. Please standby. BEEP. Thank you, and please enjoy the rest of your review and what is left of your day.* That‘s how much.
First off: The way you carried the plot I had so longingly wanted to read and turned it into a reality. I saw the man getting kissed and wooed by a female star, and I saw [through the amazing relationship dynamics between the characters] your true writing ability shine. Which, might I add, is as bright as the light you shed in a chatroom. I absolutely loved Miss Carlisle's flirtatious song, and the fact that she wrote it especially for John -- who looked like a Johnny, apparently [which, might I add, was one of the many wonderful details included -- some being including everyone's favourite sherry-drinking Seer and the fact that the Weasley family was involved]. The dynamic between the mother and her sons were flawless, and in lots of ways, mirrored Molly Weasley and her children [which is to be expected, they are related, after all. ;)]. One example of this clean-cut chemistry is shown here: "“Charles,” she whined, “what is this accursed place your brother has taken us to?”
“Oh, Mamma, don’t worry. It’s just a Muggle club. An… unusual choice for a wizard, perhaps, but completely safe.”
“I just wish your brother was more like you. More normal. The Seer your father and I took him to said nothing about a bizarre interest in all things Muggle! She foresaw that he would marry as a young man and give me seven grandchildren!”This entirely shows how Molly resented Fred and George being pranksters compared to the rest of her goal-oriented family. Such brilliance!
This could only lead to the characterization. Even though this is full of original characters, their starkingly different personalities jumped from the computer screen and into my head, giving me a clear view of the scene and how everything was working, with plenty of room to imagine it. [Is it just me, or does Elsie look a bit like a certain celebrity that inspired this prompt? Because if it is, than I just might love you billions of times more than I already do. ;)] She was seductive and flirtatious in the right places, and with Agatha making comments at exactly the time an affronted woman would. It was depicting exactly what would happen during this time period. All of them certainly stood out with the exception of Charles, and if I'm correct, was he named so for a relative that's coming down the line that could have possibly been named after him? Lord Anna, you thought of everything. Back to the original scheduled program: Charles needn't stand out, because he wasn't as important as our two little lovebirds. I especially liked how John always found time to come visit her performances, and she wrote a song, and the kiss. *has difficulty breathing*
I have one nitpick, and only because it's necessary: the first two times you mention Elsie, you write "Elise" instead. Other than that, it was well-written mechanically speaking, and utter perfection everywhere else.
The kiss. One word [or sound] is perfect for this -- GUH. You made it incredibly hot... I mean, stuff like THIS: She, in her turn, had let her hands travel up from his dragon-hide belt and over his chest, and was now taking a firm hold of his orange tweed tie. With a determination he had never known in a woman before, she pulled his face down and pressed her mouth against his. SHOULD NOT EVEN BE LEGAL. OMG. SQUEE x INFINITY. /fanboyism
All of the little details you also included were quite wonderful, especially naming the Muggle club "Between the Sheets", and how you got John there in the first place. I especially liked Agatha, which gave a perfect amount of humour in with the especially hot Elsie/John. Everything was the high point, nothing was the low point, and you, Anna, know your reciever very well. And you deserve to have a throne of jewels and chocolate, but I'll get to that around Christmas. ;) Thank you!
lol...good story, i really enjoyed it
what a cool story! It's difficult to find good historical stories, but you nipped this one in the bud. You captured the spirit of the twenties very well, and I must say I like the idea of the muggle obsession going back several generations. excellent job!