MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!

Name: Stubbornly_appeared (Signed) · Date: 10/21/07 12:08 · For: Charocal Eyes
Huh? Uh, what is this? It's like... a drabble, but... what's it doing here? I'm confused.

Author's Response: ... Erm, it's actually a fanfic. Did I delete part of it accidentally... *is scared* ... Let me go check...

Author's Response: OMG! You were right... Thanks! Good thing I saved it in word, too. I can't think how I deleted almost all of my fic...

Name: worse_than_death (Signed) · Date: 09/17/07 10:55 · For: Charocal Eyes
Really short. You don't really know what is going on.

Author's Response: ...oops...

Name: worse_than_death (Signed) · Date: 09/17/07 10:55 · For: Charocal Eyes
Really short. You don't really know what is going on.

Author's Response: Hmm... I can see how it would be confusing. Thanks for reviewing anyway. ;)

Author's Response: Oh you must've read the "accidentally abridged" version too. Ack... *headdesk*

Name: Phoebe Gruzelier (Signed) · Date: 09/01/07 13:45 · For: Charocal Eyes
Such a cute pairing! Cissa and Snape (I'm presuming that was him). It was really short, but very touching, and was just as effective as a longer piece on the same theme.

I can't really think of much else to say. Oh yeah, Cissa and Snape were very well done.

That's all!

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I know that this now non-canon, but oh well. I'm glad you enjoyed the fic!

Name: Sly Severus (Signed) · Date: 06/26/07 19:03 · For: Charocal Eyes
I like the way you show the immense feelings Snape and Narcissa have for each other. However, I'm not that fond of some of the dialogue. There are some cliches in there, things I don't think Severus or Narcissa would ever say.

Overall, I found this short piece very good. With only a few words, you have managed to convey some very strong emotion.

However, I do find myself asking, is this it? It seems much more like a beginning than an ending. I think you could make this into a much longer fic if you were interested.

As it is, good job.

Author's Response: I definitely know what you're saying about the dialogue - thanks for pointing it out, I'm going to go over this fic again and try to patch it up right this instant. Otherwise, thanks so much for the review! I hadn't even considered continuing this... but maybe... :D

Name: Visceral Love (Signed) · Date: 04/10/07 12:13 · For: Charocal Eyes
The use of mystery was fantastically subtle, however I do have some qualms with the dialouge. In some parts, the beginnig especially it come across as a little cliche or stitled. Especially the swear you'll wait for me. Perhaps its better to allow your description to be romantic and the dialoge more visceral so that it doesn't feel to sappy.

Author's Response: Yeah, I've had a lot of trouble with dialogue... I should go over that again... Thanks for letting me know what you think and for taking the time to review!

Name: Schmerg_The_Impaler (Signed) · Date: 10/10/06 20:07 · For: Charocal Eyes
Wouldn't it be funny if the story wasn't actually about Snape? Like, if Valentinia responded to my previous post with something like, "Dude, you thought this story was about Snape? Who are you kidding? Naturally, it's about REGULUS!" or something like that.

Author's Response: :D... nope, I did have Snape in mind when I wrote this!

Name: Schmerg_The_Impaler (Signed) · Date: 10/10/06 20:05 · For: Charocal Eyes

Okay, that was an incredibly unhelpful comment, but you have made the character of Snape likeable without making him out of character. You wrote a romance story with Snape without turning him into a handsome beast... you took one outstanding feature and used it to convey Narcissa's love. That's amazing. I rarely, if ever, read romance (if I do, it's either humorous fluff or spoofed), but I found this deeply touching and well-written. I especially liked the angel/devil/human part.

Personally, I think Narcissa really does love Lucius, despite his flaws, but your story poses another interesting point of view. (On a side note-- if you've ever seen Makani's fan art at http://acciobrain.ligermagic.com, you won't be able to help shipping Lucius and Cissa.)

Author's Response: Snape?!?!?! Naturally it's Reguglus!! *Kidding - I was talking about Snape* Anyway... thanks so much for the review!! I really don't mind unhelpful comments!! Not at all! I do sometimes ship Lucius/Narcissa, but... I really like the idea of Narcissa being wanted by many other men, but having finally decided to marry one of them - and then having to take another. Yeah... that made no sense did it? Anyway... Thanks for the review! [/pointless but grateful response]

Name: crazy_purple_hp_freak (Signed) · Date: 10/08/06 13:00 · For: Charocal Eyes
This is extremely well written, intense and emotional. I love the way that you have weaved in Narcissa's feelings for Snape and those for Lucius. I specially like the fact that Snape's name is never mentioned, but made explicitly clear that he is the one concerned.

Description in this is fantastic, really tearjerking. You've captured Narcissa's character really well. :)

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm glad you liked this fic! :D

Name: Gmariam (Signed) · Date: 08/26/06 16:49 · For: Charocal Eyes
Hello fellow Ravenclaw! Great job! I have never read a story about Snape and Narcissa before. I had also never really thought about what a big deal the Black-Malfoy wedding probably was, or even considered that she didn't really want to marry him, but you made it all very believable. You did an excellent job in building up the relationship between Narcissa and Snape, and showing how reluctant she was to marry Lucius.

You also did a good job staying consistent with your tenses; I would think it is very hard to write this way! You have a unique style in that sense.

Finally, I really liked how you never used Snape's name, but it grew more apparent that it was him as the story went on. I felt bad for Narcissa, and bad for Snape. Good job! I'm so glad you entered the challenge - good luck!!
~Gina :)

Author's Response: Thanks for leaving such a nice review! I don't really know what else to say, except thanks! *Blushes*

Name: hermy_loves_ron (Signed) · Date: 08/25/06 14:32 · For: Charocal Eyes
Wow! I've always loved the thought of a previous relationship between Snape and Narcissa--and you portrayed it so well. 10/10

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! As soon as I read HBP, I have been a Snape/Cissy shipper. Sad? Maybe... Oh well, I love this pair, and I', so glad you liked the pairing (and my fic *grins madly*), too!

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