What a powerful chapter! I'm really starting to feel sorry for Bella now. I don't want her sent to Azkaban, as she is obviously sorry for what she has done. *shakes fist at Rodolphus*
I'm impressed at how you have written this whole scene, it was clear to follow but nevertheless managed to keep the sense of sadness and confusion in it.
How could you kill Andromeda???! *sniff* This was a really good twist in the story, and works well with the idea of Bella's blindness...I just wish Andromeda wasn't dead *sad face* :(
The only criticism I have is that Rodolphus' entrance seemed a bit sudden. Although the idea of him suddenly appearing in the doorway is a good way to present him, the reader is still unclear as to how he got in in the first place? Surely security in the house would be tight..
*goes to read next chapter* :)
Author's Response: Yay! *huggles* Thanks for the wonderful review!
Yes, I felt very bad for both of the sisters when I wrote this, but something horrible was bound going to happen. They weren't in a good situation. Bella was being hunted by a lot of people, including her psychotic husband.
About Rodolphus' entrance, that's a good point. I never really thought of the Tonks having security around their house. I doubt they would really need it before Bella was there. And then I don't think Andromeda would think of it, I don't think Ted would particularly care if something did happen to Bella, but it does seem like something Tonks might have thought of. Hmmm....interesting.
Again, thanks so much for the review!
Wow, I'm liking your version of Bella more and more with each chapter.
For the first time, she was going to do the right thing. She was going to give her sister her life back.
This is probably one of my favourite lines. I really like the way that this seems like a sort of *decision* moment or turning point for Bella, as she realises all the wrong she has done in her life.
Just a tiny spelling pick...
Her luck, she would accidentally Apparate in the middle of Kingsley Shacklebot’s living room. It should be Shacklebolt! :p (*sniggers about a Kingsley shaped robot called Shacklebot..lol)
*will keep reading* :)
Author's Response: I'm glad you like this story. And yes, poor Bella has started to realize that she has made some very poor choices in her life. She's starting to realize that she was wrong about a lot of things, especially her sister.
You know, I never realized there was L there in Shacklebolt. I was always comparing him to a robot! *Feels smart*
Thanks for leaving a review! :D
The emotion used in this is really effective! And I loved the ending... I'm not sure whether to like Bella or not; this is a really unique way of portraying her...never read anything like it!
Author's Response: Yay! I love to hear that I'm original. :D
I'm really glad that you're enjoying this. And thanks again for leaving reviews. :D
As for whether or not to like Bella, of course, you should like Bella! I love her. I think she's a really layered character, and I love trying to get inside her head. :D
Once again, I really like the characterisation of Bella. The fact that she still despises muggleborns and yet has no choice but to let one treat her, seems exactly in tune with Bella's character.
I really want to find out what Rodolphus did, and why! *goes to read*
Author's Response: Actually, I really felt for her when I wrote this. It can't be easy to be in a situation where you are so badly off that you have no choice to embrace (for lack of a better word, at the moment) what you have hated all your life. I'm glad you think I did well with her emotions in this chapter. It was one of the harder ones to write because I felt so bad for her.
As for Rodolphus, I generally write him as an evil git. HIs rational is rarely ever explained well in my stories. I don't see him as having much of a rational, actually.
Although, I am playing around with him a bit in some of my new stuff. I'm trying to write him as less of an evil git. It's a challenge for me. For some reason, I have always hated him. I don't know why, it's not like we've seen much of him in the books.
Oh gosh... the twist at the end really surprised me, I'd just presumed that it really was dark!
You've written Bella's character really well here, and I like the fact that she is so surprised that Andromeda would risk keeping her in the house; it seems like something that Andromeda would do.
Only a tiny pick: About a 3rd of the way through: She worshipped You-Know-Who with every fiber of her being
This should be 'fibre' I think. :)
*goes to read next chapter*
Author's Response: Hehe! I had hoped people would think that it was really dark. I wanted it to be kind of a surprise. But I thought the story title might have given it away. Although the title does refer to Bella, literally, it also refers to Andromeda, figurativly.(which I have spelled wrong) Sly likes her spell check.
Yes, I think that this is the type of thing Andromeda would do. I've always seen her as someone who would take insane risks for those she loves, possibly because of Ted, and the fact that she's a Black and they all do insane things.
I have just written down the fibre thing, and will change it in the near future.
Thanks so much for leaving reviews!
Oh wow! I really like the ideas for this; and the descriptions are really realistic and well written. *goes to read more* :)
Author's Response: Yay! You've stumbled upon my favorite story. :D Thanks so much for leaving a review. I love my reviews! I'm glad you enjoyed. :D
ok, I was just reading over my reviews and decided to say that I DO know how corny "touched and sort of beautiful inside" sounds.
Author's Response: Actually, I really liked that review, along with all your others. :D
Ohhhhhhh.... how sad. I still can't believe she killed Andromeda though...that really hit me.
Great, awesome, very powerful story, and keep writing!
Author's Response: Yes, poor Andromeda, but Bella never meant to hurt her. She was just reacting to a violent situation the way she normally would. She was scared for her sister and didn't realize that her loss of vision would make casting the killing curse rather dangerous. She went on instinct and it backfired terribly.
I'm really glad you enjoying this. I still think of this story as my baby. It's one of my personal favorites.
Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! :D
omg omg omg! sorry but that really creeped me out!
Author's Response: Hehe! It was meant to do that. I felt so bad when I wrote it though. Poor Bella, and Tonks.
I'm in tears, great chronical of Bella!
Author's Response: Awww...sorry I made you cry. I'm really glad you liked it, though. Thanks so much for leaving a review! :D
Hey! I REALLY loved this whole story. It had me interested ever since I first started to read it. You do an awesome job on writing your stories. Keep up the real good work!
Author's Response: Thanks so much. I'm really glad you enjoyed this. :D
Oh...nice ending. Well, I mean the whole thing was good...but that ending is, um, powerful...
Very, very nice...
One thing though..."She wished she had of stayed home." Eh? Maybe just take out "of..." Eh?
Author's Response: Glad you enjoyed! I'll fix the grammer thing.
Oh...wow! Very good. Not entirely unexpected--Bella killing, um, not Rodolphus...but shocking still...I don't know. Wow...
Author's Response: :D Thanks for the review. I will be posting the next and final chapter as soon as I have a working computer in my hourse, possible sometime in 2020. :( Anyway, thanks again for the review. I love reviews!
Author's Response: Ha! I got the last chapter in que! *does happy dance*
Please, Please, Please! I really NEED for this chapter to be validated! I check this story eight times a day, and this chapter still hasn't been validated. I'm so impatient, yet I love this story so MUCH! Keep up the real good work!
Author's Response: Hehe! I've never gotten a review asking for the mods to validate my story before. *giggles* I'm glad you're enjoying it, but just so you know chapters can be in que for up to seven days on average, depending on how busy the category is at the time. I also have my fingers crossed that this chapter will go through soon. :D
whoa... i just realized i read #8 before this one, i checked my email and i recognized the name of this one bcuz last time it was still being validated. oh well... :-)
Author's Response: Haha! You're the second person to comment about reading the chapters out of order. I promise they make more sense in the right order. :D
amazing! the regrets are interesting, i wouldn't have expected that.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I honestly don't think that many of J.K.'s characters have anything but regrets when they look at their lives. I also think the Blacks probably have more regrets than the average. None of their lives have been easy. Again, thank you for the review. :D I love reviews!
Hmm...very good...congrats to Bellatrix on finding that ever-elusive door knob...
Um, "They allowed her to lean against them as tried to regain her balance." ...As she tried to regain her balance...
Is the next chapter ready yet...? Or is there a next chapter...? We shall see, eh?
Author's Response: :D Glad you enjoyed. And the door knob thing was really challenging for her. All of the sudden, everything has become very challenging for her. It's sad, really.
Yep, I missed the word she in that sentence. I have no idea what is up with my proofreading skills lately. Will fix.
Chapter nine is in que. And chapter ten is ready to go in as soon as nine gets through. Ten is the last chapter, but the most action happens in nine. :D
Oh, also, "She drank the foul tasting contraption..." Contraption isn't really the right word, is it? Definition: a mechanical contrivance; gadget; device...did you maybe mean concoction?
Author's Response: Hmmm...I've seen that word used in stranger places, but perhaps substance...
Thanks for pointing this stuff out; I really do appreciate it.
Interesting concept--Tonks babysitting her aunt.
This is a good chapter, I think...though I don't know why...I really like Tonks.
Um, "Don’t you worry about the kind of genes you’ll passing down to your children?" Perhaps ...the kind of genes you'll pass down to your children, or ...the kind of genes you'll be passing down to your children?
Author's Response: Tonks babysitting her aunt is about how helpless Bella has actually become because of what Rodolphus did to her. It also gives us another look at how they interact with each other, which isn't well. And it gets Ted and Bella in the same room, which I haven't done before.
I'm glad you still manage to like my Tonks. I don't really want to turn her into a villian. She has reasons for disliking her aunt and they are all valid. She's only trying to protect her mother. Unlike Andromeda, she has never seen her aunt as anything other than a monster.
And that sentence was meant to have a "be" in it. I have no idea why I miss so many words lately. I proofread this stuff, I really do. *shrugs* Anyway, I shall go fix that.
Thanks for another review! :D
Hmmm...they're both so warm and loving...ick.
Nice job...very well written...
Author's Response: Well, they are sisters and they haven't seen each other in years. Not to mention everything they have suffered through. A little warmth couldn't hurt either of them.
Thanks so much for the review! :D