ive come across some of your fanfics lately, and they are super refreshing, just because you tackle plot lines that no one else has followed. this was very interesting, and i loved it. !!
Poor Tom. Trapped in his mind, but not. I still find this is a very intriguing POV. I love how he knows this isn't what he wants, but he is powerless to do what most of him wants to do. Thanks for this very interesting story. It definitely shows a total new way to look at what happened with Tom Sr. and Merope.
Author's Response: Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Again, nice work! What a nightmare it must have been for Tom to realize that he was trapped in his own mind. You could see well his fear of what would happened, all the weirdness that the potion seemed to create in him. It must be freaky to lose control of yourself!
Author's Response: Yes, thanks. I'm pretty glad it isn't me living that nightmare. Thanks for the review!
This was fascinating! From the bits we learn of Tom Riddle in HBP, I was left with the impression that he was a bit of a rotten fellow. But this story did a wonderful job showing his inner conflict, and I felt bad for him. He was placed under a charm and you wrote his inner struggle to understand that really well. I'm curious how far you are going to take this story - through the wedding, through Merope's pregnancy, through Tom leaving her? You shouldn't answer that of course, I don't want to be spoiled. ;) But I'm just curious, and that means you did a good job hooking your readers. Good luck in the challenge, and with the rest of the story! ~Gina :)
Author's Response: Heh, hey Gina. I actually just ended the story there, as I've already written a Tom/Merope fic before from Merop's point of view. But thanks for all your kind words. I'm glad you liked this.
Whoa, Shayla, this was great. I loved how you got inside Tom's mind. It was cool how you had him thinking that he was going crazy, but yet he realized that she was responsible. I really enjoyed this.
The only thing I noticed was this sentence: "It was signing sweetly to everyone in the room-- but not him." Did you mean singing?
Anyway, really good chapter! :D
Author's Response: Yes, I meant singing. Whoops. Thanks for the review!
Wonderful ending. It's great how we get to see his thoughts, and how he feels. He isn't in control of his actions. I never thought of a love potion controlling a person, just swaying their romantic thoughts of a person. Great work!
Author's Response: Thanks. I;m glad you liked it.
I really liked reading through Tom's thoughts in this chapter. His fears were expressed perfectly.
I have to say though, in this chapter, it seemed more like Tom was under the Imperious Curse at times, rather than a love potion. It's extremely apparent that he doesn't care for her, but he can't control his body.
Author's Response: The love potion and the Imerious Curse are a lot the same, I think. Just two forms of the same thing. Thanks for the review!
Oooh, I really liked this. I enjoyed how you displayed the uneasiness Tom was feeling, and how he must have been fighting the love potion sub-consciously. Merope was also captured beautifully, in the sense that she was careful not to completely force Tom into marriage. She acted just as I would have imagined her in the situation.
There were a few sentences that, had they been read separate from the rest of the story, may have sounded awkward, but they fit perfect with the style of writing.
I'm really liking this so far, Shayla!
Author's Response: Thanks, I'm glad you like it!
I've never read about these two before, but I liked it. I think the way you described Tom's feelings was great. I like that he was confused, and he couldn't understand what was happening to him. Poor guy. I think you did you a really great job portraying both characters. Good Job!:D
Author's Response: Whoa. You need to take Tom/Merope lessons then, because they're my favourite couple! But thanks for the review.
I've never read a fiction about the thoughts of a person when he/she is under the influence of love potion ; it's quite different to what I expected, that's for sure!
It's an interesting take on that, showing that Tom was quite aware of what he was doing and that he wasn't meant to be in love with Merope, but at the same time, he thinks its sort-of right; it really shows how helpess he is, even though Tom himself doesn't seem to realise that sometimes.
You described things in a great way, really keeping the reader hooked on to it. Overall, this fiction was well-written! I'd give it 5 out of 5. =)
Author's Response: Heh, thanks. But this is really just my view on how Tom reacts and not necissarily canon. But I'm glad you enjoyed it; thanks for the review!
Wonderful work. I love how we really get to see what's running through Tom's mind, during such an important time. The descriptions of how he felt trapped inside was great. Great, as always!
Author's Response: Haha. "as always", huh? Thanks.
I love your description of the effects of the love potion on Tom. He fells so trapped, but he can't do anthing about it. Haven't we all felt like that at one point or another? Trapped by a looming test or uncoming appointment that is unavoidable. You did an excallent job with that, and a wonderful job witht he entire story.
Author's Response: Thanks. And, yes, I was trying to write my own emotions on times when I've felt like that except make them more powerful. I'm glad you liked it.
Wow.. Just... wow. You know, that description of Tom was so accurate that it makes me wonder if I've been on a love potion! Seriously, Shayla, great work! You conveyed Tom's emotions extremely well and it was great to show that even Merope knew that he felt forced into it all. Highly reccomended! - Jacie the Cat
Author's Response: Aww, Jacie, you make me squee. Thanks. I needed that.
Ah! The fatal moment: the wedding. It's interesting how you brought this up. Tom has so much doubts about what he's about to do and has some certainty about it at the same time. I hadn't imagine the effects of a love potion to be this way, but it's an interesting point of view. I guess somehow it must work like that, the mind must try to fight in some ways to regain control after a while. You never know!
I like your last sentence. What does he know exactly in his trouble mind, that's the question! ;) God job my dear!
Author's Response: Thanks. I'm glad you liked this.
This is a very interesing way to show how Tom married Merope. I would have thought the potion would have him willingly doing everything, without any doubt what-so-ever. I do really like the way you have him doubting almost all the time, and trying to stop himself, but unable to find the will or conciousness to do it. I find the "Trust me, I know." line very interesting also. I think it shows he knows he is acting out of character, but knows he is unable to do anything about it at this time. Thanks for a great chapter!
Author's Response: Well, you're welcome. And if you think this chapter had him acting out of chracter, just wait until the next one. Haha. Thanks for the review!
Wow, I really liked this look in to Tom and Merope's life. I think it's right how you characterized Tom as feeling hesitant, but also unable to control his actions. I can only imagine what was going on in Ron's mind when he was asking for Romilda Vane... Anyway, I love how he is so confused, but seems so sure on the outside. At the same time as feeling very sorry for Tom, you also see why Merope did it. Another amazing look into Merops Gaunt's life!
Author's Response: Thanks, I'm a huge fan of Merope, and I also love telling the story through Tom's eyes. You'll see the second and last chapter of this up on MNFF soon.
I loved, I think it was a perfect protrayance (is that even a word?) of the was Tom would be feeling when he was running off wiht Merope. I only wished that you would show a bit more of how Merope is feeling and not just Tom's feelings. I think she would have been over joyed at the prospect of Tom escaping with her. Other than that it was perfect, hun!
Author's Response: Merope's POV is pretty much my other story Amortentia, and this one is Tom's. I try to focus on one character at a time. Thanks for the review!