That was so beautiful. Everything was described so perfectly. It was amazing. You should continue it.
omg, wat a great story!!!
i totally love it!!!
good job and keep it up
wow. that left me breathless
Nice idea for a one-shot! Anyway, I think you should have concentrated more on their feelings during this dance, maybe show his POV, what did Draco feel? Also, how does she address him? Does she say "Malfoy" with a smirk, or is she softer than him? How did they know the choreography?
Author's Response: Thanks!
Wow. That was truly amazing. There was no mention of their lives, magic, or anything HP and yet it is truly a non-canon romance. The way you managed to write this allows it to be different everytime you read it, as well as different and personal to each individual reader. The romance is true romance and not fluff and I love it for that fact. You really do deserve the nomination for the QSQs that this fiction recieved!
Author's Response: Thank you so much Rosie. I was peeking at the list in your non-canon thread in the QSQ section, and I'm quite honoured to have received a 4 for this fic. Thank you for the equally lovely review! =D
Congrats on being nominated for QSQs! This piece is fantastically written! *has no nitpicks at all* :p
I really like the fiery, intense and descriptive atmosphere of this fic, and especially the way that the pace picks up towards the end, before the climax at the very ending. This kept me hooked, reading the whole way through. iT's just fab!! :D
Author's Response: *grins* Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it all -- this is the best news that an author can receive. *hands out cookie* =D
Author's Response: =D Thanks so much!
this story is sooo good. could you add mor to make the fluffy goodness come out?
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm leaving this story as it is...but don't worry -- there'll be more Draco/Ginny love coming from me!
this story is sooo good. could you add mor to make the fluffy goodness come out?
Author's Response: *hearts double reviews*
I think this is a fab one-shot!
Samuri Rose xxx
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it.
Anna! *huggles* I usually stay away from D/G one-shots, because I feel they don’t do the pairing justice, but you just proved me wrong. You capture the essence of my favourite ship with such effortless, beautiful prose and put so much emotion in it, I seriously about died while reading the last line. Perfect!
I’ve said it before, when reviewing Fatal Remorse, how much I love your imagery. With Fatal Remorse it was the eyes, here it is the Tango. I can do the basic Tango steps and don’t know much else about it or the steps you mention, but I could see them dancing in my mind and I still carry those images with me. I love how everything else just fades away once they begin their dance. I remember my dancing lessons, where everyone was watching the other couples and more aware of them than of their own partners, which is sad because it shows how little the dance means to them. But here everything around them fades and it’s just Draco and Ginny and their dance, that’s how it should be.
I’ve read through your story twice by now, trying to figure out how you manage to create this strong emotional tension between the characters. This fic was one of those ‘read the next line or die’ – stories. It has a lot to do with your style and word choice, just everything put together makes for a compelling read and while reading it makes everything else fade away, kind of what Draco and Ginny experience when they start to dance.
What I really liked was that you don’t explain their previous relationship. You don’t tell us countless trivial facts, not even how they got together in the first place, but let the tension between the two of them speak for itself. Anything more than the few lines of explanation you give, would have disrupted the flow of your story, it would have taken away from the magic of the moment and the dance and shifted the focus to the past. I’m glad you wrote it the way it is, as just a moment in time, not the whole story of their relationship. It’s also lovely open-ended, and I have to admit that I thought it would be a chaptered story at first, but now I’m glad that it’s not, because this ending is just perfect.
I feel like I haven’t been particularly helpful in this review, but I hope there is something in there that is of use to you.
Author's Response: Ilka, this review totally made my day -- of course it was helpful! Thanks so much, love, for *SQUEE* writing such a wonderful one! *hugs* I'm glad you liked it.
Guh. Every time I read this, I end up at guh. I'm going to try to surpass that for you, dearest.
She looked into the mirror and grimaced. I love this line in the first paragraph, because just prior to it, you've been describing her outfit and it sounds absolutely gorgeous, so the last thing you'd expect is for her to grimace when she looks in the mirror. Your readers are brought rather abrubtly back to earth and thrown into Ginny's shoes, rather than an impartial narrator.
Thin gauze-like, lighter strips dangled just above her knees. I think you need a comma between 'thin' and 'gauze-like.'
but also her shoulders, back and legs as well. You don't need both 'also' and 'as well' in this sentence, it's redundant. Personally, I'd omit the 'also,' but it's up to you.
Only her arm lashing out and steadying her trembling body had saved her from collapsing gracelessly on the cement ground. I love that you use 'gracelessly' here. Until this point, we've been hearing about dancing, which obviously brings grace to mind and then at the mention of Draco's name, all that grace is gone.
Their previous relationship had been shallow, hasty and rushed. I think you should omit 'previous' here. It almost implies that they've already entered into their next relationship, which they haven't done yet.
Ladies, on the right. Boys, to the left. It seems odd to use 'ladies' and 'boys.' I think maybe you should use 'men' instead.
Being this close to him, feeling the shape of his body again, feeling the smooth rising of his chest intoxicated her senses and her body slumped slightly before she had time to arrange herself again. She almost felt Draco raise an eyebrow at her obvious discomfort but had no time to respond with a scathing remark as the music began. Guh guh guh, perfect perfect. Her physical reaction to him, and his acknowledgement and how in tune she is to that and how she wants to retort properly...it captures almost their whole relationship in two sentences.
This next part was the only one in which she would be able to stare directly into her partner's eyes. She had no idea what would happen when she did. When their eyes met his gaze almost tore her apart. It was so fierce, so strong, as his eyes glared into her own. She took in another breath and moved her foot up higher, fastening it above his hips. He pulled her roughly against him and she inhaled sharply, her emotions rising to dangerous levels. They gazed into each other's eyes keenly before Draco freed his grip on her slightly and Ginny raised her body up. Sorry for copy/pasting an entire paragraph but I couldn't help myself. At the risk of sounding repetitive, guh guh guh guh guh guh. This is SO hot. I love his eyes and I love her reaction to them and how the moment can only last for a moment because they have to continue with the dance.
Amazing, wonderful, incredible, stellar fic. I loved every second of it.
Author's Response: SQUEEEE! A review from Lys! *huggles*
Aww, thank you so much, hun. I came home from a long day at school only to find this lovely review from you. The concrit was very helpful...I'll go in and edit that ASAP.
That paragraph scene you commented on is one of my favorites as well. I'm glad you enjoyed it and found it hot, because that's what I was aiming for.
*loves* Anna hearts Lys for her ah-mazing review. *grins*
That was beautiful. Very well-written; I found nothing to correct, :).
You have a gift with writing. I "saw" the studio, and I saw the dancers. I couldn't quite imagine Ginny or Draco dancing, but the sentiment was there.
I can tell they are your OTP ... well, goodness, I hope they are! Otherwise, I've just made a fool of myself, hee! :)
Well done! Well done...
Author's Response: Aww, thanks sweetie! XD I'm glad you found no fault in it; you've just made my morning!
I'm very disappointed in myself for not having reviewed this story. You'd think I could remember to review a favorite story of mine....*shakes head*
How she wished she had never seen those two words! How she wished he never existed! How she wished he had never entered her life and left again, dragging her heart behind him.
Those phrases seemed a bit out of place; they sound overly dramatic and didn't fit in too well with the pacing and tone of the story. However, it did very well conveying the feelings Ginny has or had for Draco. Very strong descriptions and words.
Being this close to him, feeling the shape of his body again, feeling the smooth rising of his chest intoxicated her senses and her body slumped slightly before she had time to arrange herself again.
Lovely imagery. I could almost feel exactly what Ginny's feeling. This does nothing to quell my rising affection toward Draco Malfoy...
Your descriptions for the tango were absolutely brilliant. The words you used captured the art, the elegance, and the tempo extremely well. Did you describe the dance based on what you've seen or from personal experiences? It's very dramatic and paces the story very well, allowing time for the reader to catch up on what Ginny's thinking.
Ginny almost stopped but saved herself in time when the realization that Draco was the perfect partner for her dawned on her.
This was when I first realized that the dance was a metaphor for Ginny and Draco's relationship. Just thought I'd point that out :) It also seems fitting to have Draco know how to dance. At first, I was a bit iffy at the idea of mean, old Draco Malfoy knowing how to dance. But then, I realized, if his parents are social creatures, he would be expected to know how to dance.
"Figure it out yourself, Weasley," he answered softly, head turned away from her.
You did well maintaining the mystery. At first, I thought it was mere coincidence that they met at Ginny's dance academy (even though you explicitly said Draco had attended another academy and that Ginny was surprised to see him at hers). The fact that he called her 'Weasley' threw me off as well; it seemed like he was angry at her at first but then I zeroed in on the word "whispered" and knew there was something deeper...
Wrapping this up. I loved how you paced (that word again) Ginny's gradual love for Draco. You did very well in inserting those comments in between those vivid descriptions. However, I thought Draco was a bit mis-characterized. Either that, or I think we need to get to know Draco a bit better. Because there's no time period placed on this story, I have no idea if Draco's good or bad, so the characterization of Draco is essentially missing. Perhaps a little sequel will help me draw my conclusion *hint hint*
Author's Response: Aww, Beth dear! Thank you so much for this review. It's really brightened my day. I'll take your concrit to mind. Yes, I see what you mean when you say Draco is mis-characterized; don't worry. I'll think of something. *hugs*
Choosing a Ginny/Draco ship as the basis for a sensual ballroom dancing scene was probably the best choice; they traditionally have the dynamic that works well with dancing, and you took advantage of it very well in this fic.
I will admit to liking this version a lot better than the original one I saw – there is more explanation of the reason they got together in the first place which, as in any fanon ship, is necessary to the coherence of a fic. I even think there could be a little more of it; naturally the original relationship is not the focus, but all we get in this story is that it was based on lust.
I particularly like the fourth paragraph – the imagery is very nice in the first sentence. The little interchange at the end – including the contrast between warmth and chill – is also a part I like. You have real potential as a writer and I love you (just so at the end you don’t think I hate you, you know).
A few nitpicks, etc. This is an example of a couple instances I found: Ginny breathed in deeply as Draco began to move, she followed him in perfect succession. Instead of the comma, an “and” would be better used. Another example... When their eyes met his gaze almost tore her apartIt was so fierce, so strong, as his eyes glared into her own. The second sentence just doesn’t make grammatical sense. Perhaps if you combined the two and maybe even got rid of the “glaring” part, though it qualifies just what is fierce and strong...I don’t know. I’m not doing so well at this whole suggestion business. How about you say “When their eyes met his glaring gaze almost tore her apart; it was so fierce, so strong.” However, that is just a matter of opinion for clarity, you can do as you choose.
Finally, I would like to bring up a bit about the actual dancing part. I don’t pretend to know anything about the Argentine Tango, but I still would like to suggest, if you haven’t already, closing your eyes and imagining the moves as you have them written. There are a couple places where I can no longer follow what position they are in, though you are describing it. A few phrases like “facing him” or “looking over his shoulder” would help a lot. *is vague* In your defence, probably very few people will actually be paying too much attention to the actual movements of the dance, as they will rightly be paying attention to Ginny’s thoughts and the feelings that Draco arouses in her. I’m just an anal dancer like that.
I think you have Ginny’s character down pretty well in this and while Draco doesn’t feature very largely, what we see of him is pretty good too. It’s a nice little story. Have a lovely day, Anna dear!
Author's Response: *huggles to death* Thank you for the absolutely lovely review, dear. I'm so glad that you liked it and will look onto those aforementioned sentences when I get the time. Again, love, thank you so much! *grins and hugs*
Ah, the writing here is just superb. You provided just enough background info to satisfy the reader and, more importantly, focused on the moment at hand with such amazing detail. I love this ship, but it's hard to find good Ginny/Draco fics out there. Thank you for writing one!
Author's Response: *huggles* No, thank you for the simply lovely review! I just had a crappy day and came to see this and so -- thank you!
I came back for you.
I love this. I'm so glad you asked me to make the banner so I got a preview of this wonderful fic.
You're such a magnificent writer, love. You had my mind twirling along with Draco and Ginny. You'll probably get some people who's all: 'But why are they at a dancing school? That's just weird.'
Not at all. You made it seems so natural that I'm sitting here thinking, why wouldn't they be at a dancing school?
Author's Response: *blushes* Thank you, love! You just made my morning. *huggles and loves8 I'm really glad you found it natural, because that was exactly what I was aiming for. *squees and huggles again*
I never thought Draco and Ginny would be dancers. It seems a little odd, but this was well written and worked pretty well
Author's Response: Thank you, I'm glad you liked it!
I really liked this story! I'm a fan of the tango, and Draco/Ginny stories, and seeing them together was quite the treat! Very well written.
Author's Response: Thank you so much for this simply wonderful review!