This story is so full of ideas and what-ifs and emotions that I almost can’t take all of it in, but I think that’s certainly wherein the worth of it lies. That seems to me to be so much of what Regulus is feeling. It’s a constant conflict between caring and not caring. As I read the story, it was like my emotions were all attached to strings, and they were being pulled and then slackened, and it was all in a very quick way that sort of unsettled me. (But not in a bad way, because it was awesome to feel that, especially in such a short span of words.)
There was something I that you brought particularly to my attention that, sadly, I’d never really thought about before. I guess that, in the back of my mind, I’d thought before about how Regulus would’ve been brought up in Sirius’s shadow, but I always forgot to think about how he’d feel about that. And then he’s got his own chance to shine, pretty much, by being sorted into the ‘right’ house when Sirius isn’t. And in that short section, you show how significant it all is, and how much it changes his world, and how almost chaotic it makes things for him.
I loved the way Regulus regards Sirius as he’s leaving Grimmauld face, noting the harsh sneer, Sirius’s rashness, how it all makes sense, and yet doesn’t. It was really poignant.
The best part of the narrative is, of course, the latter half. No matter how many different ways people write it, I always have to take a step back, as it were, as Regulus, this young man, barely stepping out of adolescence, is taking a huge risk to get to that Horcrux and destroy it. They way you’ve written about it here is so macabre and chilling, and just powerful.
And then, the very last bit shows how lost and yet free he might possibly be. He likes it, but he doesn’t. He has freedom, but it almost means nothing to him because he doesn’t have anything tangible In his life to hold onto. It’s very poignant, and the whole story, really, is just wonderful. You never disappoint, Noldo.
I'm sorry. I wrote out a long review where I quoted parts of your story and said what I thought about them. Unfortuantely, something happened when I pressed submit, and only a portion of the review went through. I tried deleting it, but it didn't work. I'll review it again when I have more time. I am so sorry.
I'm sorry! I wrote a long review where I quoted parts of your story and then wrote what I thought about them, but something messed up when I clicked submit and only a portion of the review showed up. i'll review again when I ahve more time. I'm so sorry.
Somewhere he’s the recalcitrant recruit, and the tortured torturer (caught in a labyrinth of things far more powerful than he, unable to do more than be tossed along, and yield unquestioning in the path of the storm).
ooh love it.
very mysterious; different, unusual
i like it.
Though this was a bit confusing (and I had to read it twice... :D) I did enjoy the vagueness and the obvious uncertainty, fear, discontent, all of them, shining through the thoughts, which appear to be - as you put it - no more than fragments of what ifs and would haves. Really brilliantly put together and written!
Wow. Just...wow. An EXCELLENT little one-shot. I really like the way you juxtapose everything, and I even like all the run-ons! And I'm an English major, so that's saying something! I think you wrote it very well, especially considering that it was entirely Regulus thinking and feeling and so on. Fantastic!
awesome story keep it up
I don't really know what to say apart from that it's wonderful. It's a brilliant insight into the mind of Regulus and, like all your fics of this genre, it explores the relationship between the two brothers perfectly. I like the comparision of the robes. Well Done.
I just love the way your writing flows; it almost sounds like poetry. I especially liked the description about Sirius-all intelligence and explosive temper and quite possibly madness. That was very true about Sirius' character. I liked reading this. A very good piece of work.
Wow.. Very head turning. I had to muse it over in my head for a minute or two to get it correctly when I finished the first 3 paragraphs. Nicely written.
Wow. Just wow.
I've read this many times over now, just loving it and oogling at it. Because it's just so wonderful, and I'm going to be fangirlish.
Okay, I'll try to be somewhat coherent and whatnot.
So I would go out and pick my favorite line, but I just can't. Everything goes so well together; it just fits, like a story should, and like words should. The thing I love about your writing is how it flows, and I don't think that's easy to do, especially when you've got this penchant for long sentences. But you make it work (better than work, even), and you let the reader just move with the words. I think one of the things about your writing is that everything is there for a reason. The commas, the semicolons, the parentheses - it's almost like art; the whole thing reads like poetry, and the style matters, and you choose that word because and this word because and just guh. Love.
Sometimes I forget that we really don't know that much about Regulus. And it's because I've read so much of your interpretations of him that it seems like canon. You've got his character down to the very center. All his thoughts and feelings are real, and the way you write them all is simply amazing. The Blacks can be hard to pinpoint exactly, and I see a lot of almost-right and not-quite-there, but never with you. You're always right.
Another thing that I love about your Regulus pieces is that there is always some kind of reference to Sirius. Which I think is important, because I think their relationship is something that had a lot of influence on Regulus's life.
(and that’s the way Sirius is, all intelligence and explosive temper and quite possibly madness)
Exactly. Just love.
(he cannot stop himself from imagining a passage across the Styx, a coin over each eye insufficient price for a fragment of a soul)
Ladies and gents, the mythological reference of the fic. :D I love how you do this, bring in something else. And it's so hauntingly perfect, too. But you seem to almost tie in everything here. The whole Horcrux thing, with the soul fragment, and Regulus's thoughts about it. I think it's kind of the whole point of the fic, isn't it? Regulus is R.A.B., yeah? And at the end, how he's not Regulus Black anymore, and he's not even sure if it's worth it.
Which brings me to the end. Guh. The last line is so perfect. And that's all I can say really, I guess. It just ends the fic in the best way possible - perfect. (Dear Noldo, you are amazing, did you know that? Yup, it's true.)
My name is Leanne and I am a Noldo fangirl.
*giggles* Noldo really doesn’t do summaries, does she?
Anyway, I was going to review, not giggle at barely-existent summaries. It’s been way too long since I read anything by you, but I was happy to find that I only had to read one line of this before I was caught by your rhythmic words again. I never really know how to describe your writing; it truly is unique and extraordinaire. I’ve learned to love your long sentences, how they start and then flow along, letting me flow with them, increasing in intensity at each comma or semicolon to finally erupt or dramatically die. *happy sigh* And… Well, forgive me for being odd now, but there is something decidedly mathematical about your writing. In a way, your sentences can be compared to equations (or something), long ones, that end either in glorious, satisfactory solutions, or in total confusion (on the reader’s part, I mean). *chuckle* In any case, I love it.
Guess what? I actually found something to point out, and I’ll get it over with while I still remember what it was:
…unalike and alike in unyielding pride, and he’s watching the way his mother’s face twists and watching his brother, the way he shouts, shaking in impotent fury, the way laughs…
- There seems to be a “he” missing before “laughs”?
You have created some wonderful confusion and uncertainty here, I think. The words telling us of the relationships between the Black brothers and their mother are well chosen; not just beautiful but also thought-triggering.
It’s something foreboding, certain and inexplicable; the harbinger of the storm.
- See? I like your shorter sentences too! Or perhaps I just happened to fall in love with the word “harbinger”. ;) In any case, its effect is stunning, and that sense of foreboding isn’t just on the screen, but in the air around me.
So, that was easy. Most of the time you make reviewing so much more difficult, just as in:
But while he’s watching Sirius go, he’s thinking about the way that brilliance goes with rashness (and that’s the way Sirius is, all intelligence and explosive temper and quite possibly madness), and the way he looked, paused for a moment and framed in twilight at the very edge of the threshold; and he’s thinking about the way the blue-grey sky and clouds and rain make the slow-moving figures in the street waver into nothingness, seeming less substantial than their own shuddering afterimages.
- Yes, I just quoted an entire paragraph. And it was NOT my fault. *chuckle* Noldo, I can’t chop it up and analyse it in smaller pieces than this. It’s the way the entire sentence works that makes the magic. But, “brilliance goes with rashness”, “framed in twilight at the very edge of the threshold”, “seeming less substantial than their own shuddering afterimages” – those are the words that make my heart beat extra hard. Bravo. Very bravo!
And now I’m going to do it again, almost:
And he’s standing in a city square, half the world away from everything he’s ever really known or understood or loved (or perhaps he’s standing in the middle of absolutely nowhere, and sometimes it’s exactly the same thing and sometimes not at all; but he tries, he honestly does, to see the interest in the ordinary and the excitement in the superlatively commonplace, and sometimes he can and sometimes he can’t and it’s always different)…
- Ooh, I can see this! The anonymous city square – or really, is he there? – and the honesty in his attempts, and how it’s always different because nothing is ever the same. And, “superlatively commonplace”? Your word-juggling skillz blow my mind.
Really, dear, you could write your stories in Elfish or a made-up language of your own. Yes, I do care about the content, but what stays with me the longest is the feeling of your words. They open up something in my mind; they let me think of New Things, and Old Things in a different way. And not a lot of texts do that to me, so… Well done, you! :D
I really really liked this one. It's so interesting to read things from a very minor character's POV, because the author has a lot of license to what that person thinks and feels. And that's exactly what you did. Do I see some hints about Regulus changing his identity and not really being dead? Or, is that just me trying to find someone who agrees with that theory... besides myself? LOL. I especially liked (and agreed with) this line:
and that’s the way Sirius is, all intelligence and explosive temper and quite possibly madness
I do think that Sirius was a bit... off. Not crazy, mind, but maybe a little, well, off as I said. Probably due to the Black's inbreeding every once and a while.
Anyway, great one shot, I really enjoyed it.
Wow. I can't believe I missed this while I was on vacation. Beautifull.
Firs of all, the last sentence was a perfect way to end. I also really liked Regulus' characterization in this. I think it's a bit different than in your other writings, because this time I felt like I was reading about an artist. Just the way he notices color and stuff...maybe it's just me, but I really liked those details.
Entirely too short of course and leaves me hungry for more of your writing. Thanks for another lovely read.
Wow. That was an amazing story. It really reached into Regulus' soul - I could completely feel the emotion, the confusion in it.
It’s a contrast which interests him, for somewhere he has all the world, and the difference isn’t really in the stories; it’s in the way the stories are told.
What a beautiful little quote - a perfect one to use as your summary. I am a great admirer of your style of writing; you are truly a fabulous author and the first one ever who's one-shot has simply demanded to be on my Favourites list. Fantastic job for Leanne!