Reviewer: MithrilQuill
Date: 11/06/07 18:30
Chapter: Chapter III - A Satisfying Disappointment

I finally got down to reading this chapter. Trent is awesome, I really like how he's coming along so far and I look forward to seeing how he does, especially after the reactions to his sorting. Your sorting hat thing was really cool, I liked the poem and the way the hat enjoyed talking to him :D


I can't wait to read the rest of this! Thanks for a great read!



Author's Response: For some reason, he isn't coming off quite as awkward as I had hoped. There will only be a few more chapters in this story, though. (Say, two to get to Christmas, then another three to get to the end of the year.) Then I'll be starting on his second year/third year story.

If you liked the Sorting Hat song, you'll like what I have in store a chapter or two ahead!

- Jacie the Cat

Reviewer: slytherins_queen2
Date: 11/04/07 0:58
Chapter: Chapter III - A Satisfying Disappointment

This story is awesome as, I find it really really interesting. I've never read a story like yours before, I find it really intersting about Trent's past. It's so uncommon and uncliche, I love it. I can't wait until you next update, and look forward to what happens next!

Author's Response: Oh, I'm sure that if you looked hard enough, you'd find a million clichés in my writing. I'm not that good.

Thanks for the review!

- Jacie the Cat

Reviewer: Cwiddy
Date: 10/15/07 0:49
Chapter: Chapter III - A Satisfying Disappointment

Being a Slytherin will definitely be a challenge for Trent...especially once his bloodline is found, but he has pride in himself...and given the right motivation could even be friends with the other children he met on the train. This story shows a lot of promise and I can't wait to see where the journey continues with young Trent.

Author's Response: You mean if his bloodline is found.. ^_^

Trent's primary friends have been introduced, as well as his enemy figure, similar to what Draco was for Harry, except, he's very similar, personality-wise, to Ron. (The boy named Weasley in this chapter is Hugo's son, named after Hugo's father.) Since Trent's personality is kinda/sorta based on mine, I figured that the person to annoy and infuriate him on a regular basis should be at least similar to the character that annoyed and infuriated me while reading the books.

I think my response was longer than your review!

Thanks again!
- Jacie the Cat

Reviewer: Cwiddy
Date: 10/15/07 0:14
Chapter: Prologue - The boy with the tattered clothes

The torments that a youth would feel, who had magical powers, but no one to show him how to use them. It is very sad that life can throw some of us to the curb, not giving us a chance at a true life.

To turn a simple apple that one yearns for into a poisoned piece of fruit that no one else can eat, to curse it for all others, is a power that can lead to other evil deeds. To be raised by a drug addict until the age of 7, with powers that just want to protect you, since Mommy won't. The facts of this life can be found throughout the world...and people turn away, not seeing the scared and hungry faces of the children that need help.

This boy has the chance to live a very dark life, if someone does not step in to assist him...his powers could rule him, not him rule his powers.

This is a wonderfully descriptive story and it starts the imagination turning. Seeing things that I have seen in the faces of children...who are forced to grow up too soon because their families cannot/will not care for them properly, this story touches the heart and I can't wait to see where it leads!

Author's Response: This version of the Prologue is significantly edited due to an issue the moderator had with my slightly/moderately descriptive scenes involving Trent's suicide attempts. I do wish that I could have portrayed him more accurately in this prologue, but you did seem to understand what I was trying to say about him.

Another thing about this story is that it's not as Angsty as most you'd find in this section. It is very dark, but the prologue and first chapter is as negative as it will be for now.

What I'm really looking forward to writing is how Trent reacts to being a kid for once.

Thanks for the review!
- Jacie the Cat

Reviewer: Cheshlin
Date: 08/28/07 13:26
Chapter: Chapter II – “Harry who?”

I am really enjoying this story! Trent is very enjoyable and I look forward to reading more! Cyns

Author's Response: Thank you! Chapter three will be up shortly.

- Jacie the Cat

Reviewer: shaggy_muggle
Date: 08/22/07 22:51
Chapter: Chapter II – “Harry who?”

all this looks promising. i notice your attention to detail. its very good. i'm looking forward to the next chapter!

Author's Response: Hey, thanks!

Reviewer: silver_tears
Date: 07/05/07 14:46
Chapter: Prologue - The boy with the tattered clothes

Hey Jace :)

Indeed, I'm in love with this story.

It's amazing how flowing this story is - I barely realised I had finished reading the first chapter. And surprisingly, I had never read fics in which there were OCs.

That brings us to Trent. There is something awfully charming about the little boy, even though he happens to be such a dark character. The way you described him, I could imagine him perfectly - how his eyes brightened when he saw the apple; the sadness on his face when that man took the apple; and the confusion at the first signs of magic. Two thumbs up on characterisation.

The fact that Neville is now a Herbology Professor made me smile. And Flitwick being headmaster. :)

And finally - the kitten. You knew I had to bring this up, didn't you? It's absolutely adorable. :)

*huggles* Keep up the awesome work!

-Debbie


Author's Response: Hey, Debbie!

Ok, I haven't updated this story in God knows how long. I kinda doubt I will, but who knows? I might go over that second chapter and try to submit it again. Then maybe this plotbunny will come back to me..

- Jacie the Cat

Reviewer: Masked One
Date: 12/24/06 0:39
Chapter: Chapter I - Two Days, Two Visitors

Hmm. Is Ed a kneazle, or part kneazle? He seems awfully intelligent for a cat. Not that I’m insulting cats in any way… *eyes author*. This chapter was very good, again. I liked that you explained the Leaky Cauldron quite clearly, without giving us the name.

I was bit confused by one - no, two things. First, did he dig a different burger from the trash than the one the girl threw out? And second, how did he learn to read?

Neville’s learned transfiguration. Though the mouse was the same color as the pepper, wasn’t he? Nice touch. I’m very curious to see how Trent fits in at Hogwarts. I can tell it’s going to be difficult for him. Congratulations on the creation of a very interesting OC.

Author's Response: Hah! No offense, taken.. (it actually made me laugh). You'll find out more about Ed as you find out more about Trent. *will say nothing more*

To clarify, yes, he dug a different burger out of the garbage (because it's right outside the establishment, so other burgers would have been thrown away). Where he learned how to read, well, that's answered next chapter.

Yes, Neville learned transfiguration.. I thought that he would take it upon himself (possibly with Harry's help or guidance) to get better at that, being in the Order and all.

Thanks again for the review!
- Jacie the Cat

Reviewer: Masked One
Date: 12/24/06 0:38
Chapter: Prologue - The boy with the tattered clothes

Hi there! And Merry Christmas.

I went looking for your stories through the Slytherin Secret Santa, but I’m glad I found this. Trent is very interesting - Slytherin, even. You write his point of view very well; clearly enough for the reader to see what’s happening, but childishly enough for it to be realistic. There were a couple little bumps in the writing, but it was quite smooth and very clean.

It was hard to tell whether the scene in the restaurant was before or after his mother left him - some time reference there would be nice. The scene in the park is very well written, as is the scene with the apple. I’m not sure what to think about his multiple suicide attempts. I can only imagine that his magic saved him - but that’s a bit odd as magic seems to respond to intent. Some more detail there would be nice.

Neville? Interesting choice to deliver what must be his letter. I’m guessing I’ll find out more about that in the next chapter?

Author's Response: Hey! Thank you so much for the review!

It's interesting to hear you say he sounds Slytherin, because I initially intended to have him in that house. (Although at this point, I'm not sure.)

The scene in the restaurant was after his mother left him. I know that I should have clarified that earlier, but keep in mind this is my first chaptered fic, and I was a little eager to have it posted.

Speaking of which, it was rejected its first time, but not for mistakes. I had initially written a good three paragraphs or so about his various suicide attempts - What he did, what went wrong, etc. It was rejected because I was too specific with this. MNFF apparently has a strict code of conduct when it comes to suicide subject matter. But you'll find out more on that if my future chapters are accepted.

- Jacie the Cat

Reviewer: tpt42
Date: 09/23/06 20:13
Chapter: Prologue - The boy with the tattered clothes

First O/C story I've come across and actually liked. Waiting for the next update.

Author's Response: Oh, thank you! I always love compliments.

- Jacie the Cat

Reviewer: Oliver_Wood
Date: 09/12/06 15:21
Chapter: Chapter I - Two Days, Two Visitors

I loved this! you aresuch a good writer. i cant wait to figure out what comes next. Neville adds a nice touch. i definately didn't think that it was 3190 words. it didn't seem that long, which is good. i could read through the entire story at once... i did that once with a 20 chapter fic... any way... it was amazing!


Author's Response: Heh, thanks Emily. One thing I always try to do when I write is to make things flow easily. I don't want people trying to read my story. If they start it then I want them to get to the end before they realize it, y'know?
Thanks again!
- Jacie the Cat

Reviewer: ProfPosky
Date: 08/29/06 0:36
Chapter: Chapter I - Two Days, Two Visitors

I l;ike how this is developing. I like Eddy. I am dying to find out how things have gone for Neville.

It does not bother me that this must be 40 years or so in the future, but the scene as you describe it is as it is today. I'm not sure desperation changes much over the years...

Author's Response: Well when you walk down the streets of a major city you see the homeless people looking, acting and surviving like they did 20 or even 30 years ago. Contrary to a certain Michael J. Fox/ Christohper Lloyd movie, the future doesn't bring too many changes aside of vehicle designs, fads and new logos. In any case, you were actually right in how long after Year7 in which this story taes place. Neville and Trent do talk about the Wizarding world in the next chapter (as well as its history. (*wink*) - Jacie the Cat

Reviewer: Sarakime
Date: 08/28/06 22:52
Chapter: Chapter I - Two Days, Two Visitors

Great chapter, Jace!

Awesome desriptions, especially of his first reactions to magic. And his eagerness, for food and to go to the school.

The kitty was a nice touch. Is something more going to come from the cat?

I'd leave a better review, one that made sense, but I'm just too tired... :D Sorry.

Author's Response: Hehe.. It's ok, Sarah. The kitten was kind of meant to be his first friend. I wanted him to connect with someone that wasn't human. He still doesn't know the real good in them seeing as he's been looked down on all his life for being homeless (see prologue). - Jacie the Cat

Reviewer: Linda_Carrig
Date: 08/19/06 5:33
Chapter: Prologue - The boy with the tattered clothes

I really enjoyed reading this fic! I can't help but feel for the poor boy. Looking forward to the next installment.

Author's Response: Ohh, tri-fecta

Reviewer: Linda_Carrig
Date: 08/19/06 5:33
Chapter: Prologue - The boy with the tattered clothes

I really enjoyed reading this fic! I can't help but feel for the poor boy. Looking forward to the next installment.

Author's Response: Double post?

Reviewer: Linda_Carrig
Date: 08/19/06 5:31
Chapter: Prologue - The boy with the tattered clothes

I really enjoyed reading this fic! I can't help but feel for the poor boy. Looking forward to the next installment.

Author's Response: Thanks! It's coming soon. - Jacie the Cat

Reviewer: Sarakime
Date: 08/18/06 22:56
Chapter: Prologue - The boy with the tattered clothes

Jace! It's up! Amazing work. It was amazing when I read it before, and it's still that way.

All of your descriptions and imagery are really wonderful, as if I could be there and be expiriencing it all with him. A great start to a great story.

Good luck with your next chapters, I'd be glad to help out, if I can. :)


Author's Response: Aww, thanks for the review, Sarah! I have Chapter 1 coming soon, so keep chacking back! - Jacie the Cat

Reviewer: Cruciatus Love
Date: 08/18/06 19:12
Chapter: Prologue - The boy with the tattered clothes

Ooh, Jacie, I love it!

You know, as well as all the magical elements you gave to Trent, I know he reminds me a lot of you. Maybe your mother never abandoned you on the streets, but I know that you did live in a foster home and all that, and I'm interested to see how you can incorporate your own life into that of Trent's. He's an extremely dark character, but he still has a small light in him that's most likely due to him being such a small child. But I really love his character, and I can't wait to see what happens next.

As for Neville, I must say that when I first read that I cracked up because it sort of reminded me of Obi-wan in the Star Wars series coming to rescue Luke. I'm sure you wont follow that plot line, but it made me giggle. You always seem to be able to do that. :)

Fantastic work, Jacie. I can't wait until the next chapter comes out!

Author's Response: Hey, Shay! Most of my experience comes from living in poverty, not a foster home. Also, you'll see a lot of the light that's inside him in the next chapter with one of the "Two Visitors" *has said too much* With Neville... I guess you could say he's like Obi-Wan, but that's far from what I was going for.. I really wanted him to be the next generation rescuer like Hagrid was for Harry, y'know? - Jacie the Cat

Reviewer: Lacerated
Date: 08/18/06 19:11
Chapter: Prologue - The boy with the tattered clothes

wow Jace, I absolutely love this! I don't seem to see any punctuation issues like you said. =] so I'd have to agree with you there. Anywhom, I love what you did with the apple. Its odd to think that something as simple as an apple could mean so much to the guy. Poor Trent.. he needs a hug... *runs off to hug Trent* Keep it up! - Jen

Author's Response: I wanted to emphasize in the fact that some people would burn someone's hands off for the chance to have something we take for granted. (and for the record, I didn't see any either..) - Jacie the Cat

Reviewer: ProfPosky
Date: 08/18/06 7:16
Chapter: Prologue - The boy with the tattered clothes

OOOOH! Love it. Don't love what has been happening to Trent of course, but the way you write about it, about the kind of maginc he's been doing by accident and how his magic, presumably, won't let him kill himself, and then - NEVILLE.

I adore Neville. I love the image of his living to be an old man, and his being the one who finds the homeless boy to deliver the Hogwarts letter. It seems to me something he would do - be the one to search out the lost, and offer them their chance.

Hope there is more to come - can't recall if this said it was a one shot or not, but hope it is a first chapter.

Author's Response: Hey, thanks for the review! This is a chaptered fic, so there is more to come, so you know. You'll find out in the next chapter why Neville is the one to deliver the letter. Let's just say I gave him the career the best suits him... - Jacie the Cat

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