Reviews For He's Gone
Reviewer: Hello12345
Date: 08/28/06 1:43
Chapter: He's Gone

Hey, well done on a great story. I really enjoyed it.
I think this fic could be improved by expanding actual length of it. It seems like a great plot line, very well thought out, but perhaps it would do better as a several chapter fic, rather than a one shot. It's just a bit ambitious to tackle the loss of Harry's powers, the downfall of Voldemort, and provide a happy ending, in a one shot.
Another thing, the role of Ron and Ginny in this story seem a little ambiguous. I enjoyed the way Dumbledore's faith in friendship was demonstrated, however this needed to be proven in practice, not just in theory. Perhaps if Ron and Ginny, along with Hermione, were given the chance to help Harry with his grief before the final battle, their role in the story would seem more neccessary. As is, they seem to just arrive at the battle and watch. One way to improve this could be to add a couple of days in between their arrival and the commencement of the battle.
Also, a quick typo: When it was clear that Harry wasn't going to ask about anything except Sirius, tumbledown lifter the long package and placed it across Harry's lap.

I think it should read: When it was clear that Harry wasn't going to ask about anything except Sirius, Dumbledore lifted the long package and placed it across Harry's lap.
Also, with regards to Ginny's involvement, perhaps her relationship with Harry could be explored a little more fully. Otherwise, great work.

Author's Response: My initial plans were to make tihs a chaptered fic, pushing Harry's recovery for a few chapters, and making this a H/G, R/Hr fic. But I don't have the time to take on another chaptered project, so I compressed it. Perhaps at a later time I'll go back and re-do thie properly :) Thank you for your review and criticism :) Chris, off to correct typos.

Reviewer: silver_tears
Date: 08/21/06 14:16
Chapter: He's Gone

Great story, Chris.

I absolutely loved the plot. Stories where Harry loses his magical powers are very rare, and so, very appreciated. :-) And this is coming from someone who hardly ever reads AU.

It amazed me how you managed to keep all characters in place -- from Dumbledore, with his formal tone but concerned for Harry when in the right situation, to Harry, for whom you gave a very accurate description and reasons for his feelings and actions.

I found one typo though:
He stood and nodded at Molly. “May Ron com join Harry?” he asked formally.

I can't say anything else about this...it's awesome. Well done. :)

-Debbie


Author's Response: Debbie!! :D

Thanks for the great review, and for pointing out the mistake *will correct it ASAP*

I'm glad you like the story, and I'm feling especially flattered that you read it despite the AU thing :) Thank you.

Chris

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
Epithalamium by Squibstress Professors
Minerva McGonagall is a bright, talented witch with dreams of becoming the first...
The Marred Boy by Padfoot11333 1st-2nd Years
The two Marauders who were outcasts in their own homes. I am Padfoot11333...
A Seer Named Rosemary Snape by PlutoLovegood 3rd-5th Years
In 2018 Neville and Harry deliver a Hogwarts acceptance letter to Rosemary Snape...
FEATURED
whimper by psijupiter 6th-7th Years
I play to my strengths. As do we all. In the midst of the first wizarding...
Over A Mug of Tea by hestiajones 1st-2nd Years
I think of her as a sister. The words rang clearly, loudly in his mind. I...
Gaps Between by lucca4 6th-7th Years
Falling in love teaches Dennis Creevey that sometimes, needing someone isn't...
To Fear the Flame by Acacia Carter 3rd-5th Years
Neville hadn't expected his boggart to ever change. Perhaps he should have done.
Good King Ragnuk by Oregonian 1st-2nd Years
Ragnuk, King of the Goblins and master silversmith, forged a sword for Godric...
CATEGORIES