ĎEllo, lovely SPEW buddy! Iím quite happy I got you as my buddy for this month of December; itís so nice to read a fic from someone new. :)
I thought this was very well constructed Ė you obviously have a strong grasp on all things grammatical and whatnot, something that I appreciate immensely. As far as technical errors were concerned, I didnít find anything here to point out. Excellent work there. I did feel, though, that perhaps the asterisks separating this into different parts were a bit unnecessary. I thought the piece would have been perfectly coherent and together without them. Also, I have to wonder why you have Ďrosesí at the top of this in italics. Itís not the title, soÖI just wonder why itís there.
I find your style quite enjoyable Ė Iím a fan of long sentences and lots of words myself, so I didnít really find this overwhelming as I think some people might. However, I did feel that at times the descriptions were a tad superfluous Ė not bad, certainly, but not really needed. But I thought the descriptions were mostly perfect for the mood of this; you captured that sense of love and trust that I think is so essential to James and Lily.
I wasnít completely in love with the actual wedding in the fic, though. To me, it just seemed too over-the-top and dramatic for James and Lily. I picture their wedding as much more low-key, simple, that sort of thing. No doves and rose-petal showers for me. But, thatís just my idea and not really a comment on characterization. Speaking of the characters, though Ė I thought they were great. Especially Sirius. And, considering I am such a huge fan of Sirius, it isnít always easy to satisfy me. But I loved how he kept James from messing with his hair. So adorable. I love it.
I liked your choice not to use names until the very end; itís something I find myself doing with my own writing a lot. It really adds to the fic, in my opinion. Maybe it got confusing at some points, but not enough that it should be changed.
Overall, I thought this was a very nice little one-shot. Well written, beautiful, and lovely. Great job!
Author's Response: Hello back, lovely former-SPEW buddy! I'm so sorry I never reviewed you back. Life got so confusing and, well, it was impossible. Nevertheless, I shouldn't have left replying to this great review 'til now.rn
I'm thrilled you appreciated the grammar. I, too, value that correctness in the books and short stories (newspapers, letters, etc., etc., etc. *grins*) I read. As for the asterisks, I've stopped using so many. This was my first fic. and I am... well, slightly ashamed that you read it. I don't like it very much. It was (from its inception) merely a tableau that I dashed off. But there you have that.rn
And as to the "Roses" bit, I though--when I first joined MNFF--that each story had to have a chapter title. Thus, I thought: rn
Hmm... This chapter refers to roses quite a bit. That will be my chapter title!rn
Silly, I know, but that was what I thought.rn
I'm glad you liked the sentence structure, but I disagree with you about the superfluous information. If this was supposed to be a story full of action, plot, and deep characters, I would agree. However, as I said before, this is merely a picture, a kaleidoscope of colors and sounds designed to bring the reader into the chapel, into the wedding.rn
When I wrote this, I really didn't know my characters, so I wasn't writing so much for James and Lily as I was for the "painting"--that is, my word picture. That said, however, I'm overjoyed at your positive reception of Sirius. I, too, am a fan of him. *grins* Both canon and fanon.rn
Thank you very much for the review. I truly appreciate your honest criticism as well as your compliments and apologize once again.rn
Very well described, but I have to wonder if there aren't a few too many descriptions in some places...I got lost a few times trying to put everything together into a coherent picture. Well written over all and a beautiful wedding! Maybe spending a bit more time on the feelings and tensions between the characters and less on the physical atmosphere would be better?
Author's Response: Thank you for this review, and I must say that I'm going to agree with you on your assessment except for the fact that this was simply a fic to describe the "physical atmosphere" of the wedding. =)
I don't usually write fluffy-anything, so this was a change from my usual style. The idea for this came to me while I was sitting in church, so I decided to create my "dream wedding."
There really isn't anything profound in this little fic; it's just a wizard magazine-type article. *shrugs* But then again, that's what I meant for it to be.
However, if I were to expound on this theme, I would definitely incorporate "feelings and tensions" rather than physical description.
Thank you once again, though. You gave me a comprehensive review for which I am immensely thankful.
I really like it! I dont' know what else to say except that this story is really good!
Author's Response: *smiles* Thanks so much. But you're write, there really isn't much to say about this one-shot. Not much plot there, just word pictures. But thank you so much.
I have chills. I'm not even joking. I loved your descriptions of the flowers at the beginning- they gave me goosebumps! Great job, Julia! ~megan~
Author's Response: Oh, thank you so much, Megan! *hugs*
I can't tell you how much your reviews mean to me. I really need the encouragement right now and I'm so glad you liked the story.
Thanks again, dear. =)
That was really good! I'm feeling rather un concrit and creative at the moement, but I must say that the imagery was splendid, and your description was fantastic. I got clear views in my head, and the nervousness of James and LIly was really well portrayed. It was definitely a realistic tale.
Anyway, great job, and I LOVED this! Absolutely spiffing!
Author's Response: Thanks very much for reviewing, Hannah. I'm thrilled that you could "see" it all. That's what I'm all about. Imagery is my forte and 'tis what truly makes a story for me. Why should I not give my readers the same satisfaction, eh? =)
I'm glad it was realistic, too. Many of the 'wedding' stories I've read are ... Well, not very convincing. Thanks again, love.
Your first paragraph was basically what drew me in. The wonderful detail that you described everything with made me actually happy. I completely admire that in a fic when a person can describe the setting very well, resulting in a very good fic.
I absolutely love the way that you described the wedding. From the people to the weeping of happiness, it was all too perfect.
At first i thought you were talking baout Ginny and Harry, but then when i saw the emerald-green eyes, i realized who it was.
I adore the way that you described their love at the end.
LOL, i have nothing to criticize, that's why i love this fic so much! Very creative, and i loved it! I give it a ten!
This is so going on my fav list! I'll even check out your other stories! Te he!
Thanks for the banner again !
Author's Response: Dear Lindsey,
Thank you so much for your lovely compliments. I'm thrilled that you enjoyed my story, that it made you happy, and that you could see it. That's the whole purpose, I believe, in writing for others: trying to make them see what you see in your mind. 'Tis a fun thing. =)
*giggles* You're right, too, the wedding was too perfect. But, goodness, wouldn't it be fun to have a fairy-dusted wedding? With JAMES Potter. *giggles* *is a James fangirl*
The whole story was supposed to be rather ambiguous. You were supposed to guess and guess and guess. *giggles* Sometimes readers like that, sometimes they do not. I've had people who found this story "dull," yet I can't help if this is the way I imagined J/L's wedding. =) I'm glad you liked it, though, and I cannot begin to tell you how happy you've made me. Adding it to your favorites is, perhaps, the most wonderful gift you could have given me. And, please, do check out my other stories if you've the time. =)
You're so very welcome for the banner. I'm thrilled that you like it. =)
I was looking for a good J/L story and I saw yours and just had to read it. From the first few sentences, I knew it was a wonderful story; and I was right. It just blew me away. The description and imagery was so beautiful, I could picture everything so clearly, as if I was actuall there. I loved how you kept their identities hidden, even if it was fairly obvious who they were. This story is definitely going on my favories!
Author's Response: Hey darlin'! Oh, my ... Wow, this review is just ... it just left me speechless. Thank you so much, Christine. *blushes and tries to speak* Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Also, your address of the language elements in my story really speaks volumes to me of your, ah, what's the word? Your perceptive nature? Yes, that's it. :-)
Thank you for taking the time to review and give me your comments on here. I love talking to you, and thank you so much for the compliments.
P.S. You are right, though, I wanted it to be very obvious to canon enthusiasts that this WAs James and Lily. It felt odd writing a canon-based story. None of my lovely OCs hanging around. Hee!
Hello fellow Ravenclaw!
I'm so glad I read this story, it was lovely! I can only imagine how many times you have heard this - but your descriptions are amazing! You write with such a wonderful grasp of imagery and language - it was wonderful to read, and so easy to visualize. It was really quite beautiful. You put so much feeling into such a short scene. I loved how you only used the names James and Lily Potter once at the end, that was a nice touch. Do you know why Dumbledore gave Lily away? I'm just curious.
Wonderful job - keep up the great work! And feel better soon!
Author's Response: Oh, my! Your compliments are astounding. *gasp* I had no idea that this story (which I thought up while I was standing, bored, in church) was so... um... I don't know. I really don't have words to say. Just 'Thank You.' :) Actually, though, I haven't heard about the descriptions all THAT much, hee! And even if I had, it's lovely to hear you say that. Dumbledore gave Lily away because her parents were already dead. At the end, James and Lily look around the church and notice that people are missing ... "Feeling a sting of heartbreak even in their absolute happiness they recognized, as if for the first time, the absence of certain individuals." Voldemort has already been running rampant by this time and killing off people quickly. We never really heard what happened to Lily's parents and, as Dumbledore was such an influence on the Potter's lives, I decided to kill them off, poor Evans' :(, and have Dumbledore give her away. Thank you, too, for the Get Well Wishes. I'm feeling much better, but you know how it is. Still coughing and sleeping half the day away. *sigh* *huggles fellow Turnip* Thank you so very much! ~Julia~
That was fantastic! Your descriptions of everything were amazing. I love it!
Author's Response: Oh! Thank you so very much! I'm overjoyed that you liked it, :) Reviews make me *squee!* ~Julia~
write more please. I couldn't tell who was James. Im sorry, but I found your story dull. : l
Author's Response: I'm sorry it wasn't to your liking. Could you please tell me what you meant by "write more?" Do you mean another story or expanding this one-shot to a full-length? ~Julia~
Awwwww! That's so sweet! I absolutely love it! It's exactly how I would imagine their wedding.
Author's Response: Thank you so very much! :) I really appreciate your review and I'm so glad that you enjoyed the story. I love their wedding as well. :) ~Julia~
i loved how you didn't say their names until the end!
Author's Response: Thank you very much for your review! I'm glad you enjoyed it, :), I wanted the two main characters to be a surprise (though I'm sure they weren't, hehe) and therefore left them 'til the end. Thanks again for your review; it really encourages me! ~Julia~
Yay! it's up! Beautiful one shot!
Author's Response: Yea!!! :) Thanks Evie! I couldn't have done this without your help. ~Julia~