Reviewer: Binka Fudge
Date: 06/18/08 18:19
Chapter: Chapter 1

I've never imagined Percy to be that way before. And I really never thought he'd be the sort to wink. I really enjoyed meeting Sarah though.

Reviewer: GringottsVault711
Date: 10/29/07 0:59
Chapter: Chapter 1

*smiles* That last bit really does melt my heart. But, back to the beginning. I like the introduction of Sarah Vance's character. It's only just occured to me now that I'm mentioning it how natural she seems. I didn't feel like I was getting to know her at all, I felt I already knew her, and very easily connected with her and this story. I really like her style as a reporter; I've had enough experience with Journalism that Rita Skeeter gets on my last nerve, and being able to think of The Informant being out there, with reporters like Sarah, it's very liberating. Even if that sounds silly of me. ;)



Was it because you wanted to wallow in mediocrity? Or was it because you wanted to turn the world on its head and blow every other reporter out of the water?” This line is FABULOUS, because it's so true. It is for me, at least. I mean, anyone who wants to be anything, wants to make it to the top. That's kind of the point. People with career goals don't set their sights on mediocrity, but it's "arrogance" to say out loud that you plan on making it to the top. So, yes, I LOVED that line.



I found two things a little startling. One was Percy's personality. In canon, he doesn't seem to exude the same confidence as he does in this fic. He does come across as arrogant sometimes, but he seems more the sort to work very hard towards an ambition in hope of achieving it and then gloat about it when he's gotten it. He wants respect because he doesn't feel he's given it. He doesn't really seem the sort to be so sure about himself, especially with women, so his approach to Sarah sort of surprised me. I also think it's unusual that he would even be considered for MoM, just because he's so young. However, for a good, well-written story I'll happily give over a small suspension of disbelief.



Also, MUST point out this line: “Well, I’d better not violate any laws over something as important as chocolate.” Heehee. That is all.



I felt so awful for Sarah at the end of the dinner when she was trying to hide the fact she could hardly perform magic at all. *sigh* I could sort of feel the loneliness that she must carry with her, with that sort of secret keeping her from ever getting very close with anyone. :(



The end, though, was lovely. I really just love the dialogue. "I've missed you trying to ambush me each Monday morning to get an interview with the Minister". I loved that. I can't figure out what it is, I just do love it. And, there's the "Did he just say what she thought he'd said?" I love seeing that. Because, in reality, that is such a wonderful yet awkward moment. And so, we come back to the little note, that I love very, very much. *sigh* This is a very romantic little fic dear. Quite Jane Austen of you. ;)

Author's Response: I tend to agree with you about Percy. The young, canon Percy in the series is not the same as the Percy we see here. I do have a defence for that. In the world that I envision for this fic, written pre-DH, it took longer for Harry to defeat Voldemort, and Percy didn't come back to his family, and so with a different progression, he did develop into who he is here. I imagine him to be around 25-27 for this story, and at that point he's a seasoned-ish politician who aspires to be still even more than he is at the beginning of this little story. Without any of the wholesome Weasley family influence, surrounded by the blind/corrupt government officials, I think he could be this Percy. Plus, I had read a fic not too long before writing this that had a totally confident/hott Percy very akin to this sort of Percy. -shifty eyes-

Reviewer: GringottsVault711
Date: 10/29/07 0:58
Chapter: Chapter 1

*smiles* That last bit really does melt my heart. But, back to the beginning. I like the introduction of Sarah Vance's character. It's only just occured to me now that I'm mentioning it how natural she seems. I didn't feel like I was getting to know her at all, I felt I already knew her, and very easily connected with her and this story. I really like her style as a reporter; I've had enough experience with Journalism that Rita Skeeter gets on my last nerve, and being able to think of The Informant being out there, with reporters like Sarah, it's very liberating. Even if that sounds silly of me. ;)



Was it because you wanted to wallow in mediocrity? Or was it because you wanted to turn the world on its head and blow every other reporter out of the water?” This line is FABULOUS, because it's so true. It is for me, at least. I mean, anyone who wants to be anything, wants to make it to the top. That's kind of the point. People with career goals don't set their sights on mediocrity, but it's "arrogance" to say out loud that you plan on making it to the top. So, yes, I LOVED that line.



I found two things a little startling. One was Percy's personality. In canon, he doesn't seem to exude the same confidence as he does in this fic. He does come across as arrogant sometimes, but he seems more the sort to work very hard towards an ambition in hope of achieving it and then gloat about it when he's gotten it. He wants respect because he doesn't feel he's given it. He doesn't really seem the sort to be so sure about himself, especially with women, so his approach to Sarah sort of surprised me. I also think it's unusual that he would even be considered for MoM, just because he's so young. However, for a good, well-written story I'll happily give over a small suspension of disbelief.



Also, MUST point out this line: “Well, I’d better not violate any laws over something as important as chocolate.” Heehee. That is all.



I felt so awful for Sarah at the end of the dinner when she was trying to hide the fact she could hardly perform magic at all. *sigh* I could sort of feel the loneliness that she must carry with her, with that sort of secret keeping her from ever getting very close with anyone. :(



The end, though, was lovely. I really just love the dialogue. "I've missed you trying to ambush me each Monday morning to get an interview with the Minister". I loved that. I can't figure out what it is, I just do love it. And, there's the "Did he just say what she thought he'd said?" I love seeing that. Because, in reality, that is such a wonderful yet awkward moment. And so, we come back to the little note, that I love very, very much. *sigh* This is a very romantic little fic dear. Quite Jane Austen of you. ;)

Reviewer: Lurid
Date: 12/25/06 5:43
Chapter: Chapter 1

I am now officially procrastinating. Not that I haven't been for hours now, but finally i have found purpose other than my own selfish gains - reviewing my Marie. This is certainly... different. Written fabulously, duh - it's Marie - and it's got a contempory feel. It's not... oldish. Or nineties. It's fresh.. and bold!

Percy handed her a piece of parchment with the name of a restaurant and address on it. “Dress to impress, Vance.” I'd like to have seen some indication of how he's said it, because it would have added a lot to the character's behaviour out of canon at the start, and set the scene for me personally, because further on some of his actions surprised me (not to say I didn't like them, just that I was a little giggly about Percy saying anything of the sort).

The conversation turned friendlier with the arrival of the sugar... well, of course. Sugar is the staple food of dates, isn't it? Heee. Nice detail.

She went on tiptoe for a moment to plant a kiss on the lips of Percy Weasley, and then she ran out the doors as quickly as she could... ... well that's the most original way I've seen of shutting a boy up. I wonder, does it work on both sexes? Because I would have ordered a canon boy to kiss Hermione years ago, if it did.

Squee, Marie. Merry Christmas.

Reviewer: Cinderella Angelina
Date: 11/26/06 20:43
Chapter: Chapter 1

Seeing as this is one of my favorite stories and I’ve never reviewed it and I’m sort of scrambling, this is a marvelous time for me to review.

First of all, I love the character you’ve created here. Sarah is smart, ambitious, tall (gotta love tall girls), and a Squib. Now, I know you didn’t make her a Squib entirely of your own volition, but the way you portrayed it was great. And being a reporter is a perfect job for her.

I also think you got Percy spot on. I wish you had him answer the question about his family, but of course I can see why you didn’t. It’s better to leave some things to the imagination, and you got the rest of it right.

The Chocolate Explosion sounds just as delectable as ever, and I still love their interchange right before they get it. In fact, I would have to say that the interaction between Percy and Sarah is my favorite bit of the whole story. Except for the part where she leans up to kiss him. But that’s just me thinking how I could never do that. It works all right in the story, I guess. For a brazen gal like Sarah.

I don’t know what your original ending was (except that it was all happy and stuff) but I do know that I like this ending better. I think Shanae’s review reinforces that. You do sort of know all this already but it’s nice to be reminded after a few months that yes you do have talent as an author.

You don’t know this next part, though, because I never told you. You see, it’s a nitpick. Third and fourth sentences. The first has an ‘it’ as the subject. The next has a ‘they’. Something doesn’t quite match. Are we being picky? Perhaps. But, like you, I like to relish in the machinations of the words. [/being mean]

Good story. Since I am scrambling I won’t bother to go in too deeply about ... everything. But I will say I love it and I love you too. Have a nice day! *D*

Reviewer: Roommate of the Quillster
Date: 09/28/06 12:47
Chapter: Chapter 1

Oh, Mar! This is simply splendid! I love this ending... much better than the one I read in draft form. I love that Percy's a person... I just love him in this story. It's hard to remember that he's a git and his family hates him... Like I've said before, in all of your stories, you have an excellent understanding of who you want the characters to be. And the characterization in your stories is so deliciously subtle... I love it. :) Love, Your non-roommate Roommate

Reviewer: rita_skeeter
Date: 09/16/06 20:31
Chapter: Chapter 1

This was such a fantastic read, Mar! You write in a way that has fluency and moves quickly without rushing things. The characterisation of Percy was very convincing and your OC was well-rounded and interesting, quite apart from her fabulous name. :D

All in all, a brilliant storyline written with delicacy and flair. I loved it!

Reviewer: pandafan81
Date: 08/29/06 0:26
Chapter: Chapter 1

AWWWWW! Mar! That's fantastic!!! I actually like Percy a lot more now! And I adore Sarah. You know, it seems natural, but I don't think I've ever seen anyone place Percy as Minister before. But it seems perfectly suitable. Fantabulous work love!

Reviewer: Ennalee
Date: 08/28/06 0:22
Chapter: Chapter 1

It’s terribly ironic, Mar, that I both wrote and received a Percy story for my SSSSS, and yet I couldn’t be more pleased. I have suddenly more interest in Percy than I’ve ever had, and now I want to figure him out. I had been thinking a lot about him after writing my own story, and I loved the way your story made me think about him.

I know I’ve mentioned this before, but the first thing that struck me was the similarity between Percy and Sarah. Though he was head boy and she’s next thing to a squib, they both know what they want and will work however hard they have to in order to get it. I love the attraction between them as they recognize and admire this quality in each other. And I absolutely love the idea of Sarah, the almost-squib, powering her way through Hogwarts by sheer force of will. My favorite fanfiction stories tend to deal with characters on the fringes of canon who might not fit into the world in a normal way, and Sarah is perfect.

‘“I’m an opportunist.” “You’re also paying,” she said as she sat down.’ This exchange really typified what this story is about. Two opportunists interacting and falling for each other, and you managed to catch it in a two line piece of dialogue. Percy’s arrogance somehow manages to be appealing, and I admire you greatly for being able to do that – it’s one of the things that most puts me off about writing him, simply because I don’t know how to deal with it.

This is a very small thing, but I really, really liked the little concessions to the wizarding world that you slipped in; without making a big deal of them, you managed to make the story seem right at home in the middle of Rowling’s world. The Collective Conversation Catcher was my favorite – I could totally see that appearing in one of the books.

As I told you, I really wasn’t expecting a Percy story because I didn’t think anyone would want to write him. To see Percy with a squib was far beyond my expectations. The entire idea fascinates me, because Percy has tried so hard to make a position for himself in society, and has rejected his family because they don’t function the way he wants in the society he wants. To become paired with a squib means compromising all his self-imposed rules, and going against the society he values so much. It’s a fascinating idea, and Sarah was the perfect match for him! Thank you again for this beautiful story!

Reviewer: anAnachronism
Date: 08/12/06 16:18
Chapter: Chapter 1

Sweet. Interesting take, I would dearly have loved to hear Percy's explanation of his separation from his family. I guess that may never come, though. Still, a very good fic!

Reviewer: siriusly_ginny
Date: 08/10/06 12:53
Chapter: Chapter 1

haha that was funny...
...but percy weasley, atttractive???thats a LITTLE far fetched, but still this is the first percy fic ive evr seen or read
=o)
great work!

Reviewer: blackgem
Date: 08/08/06 1:11
Chapter: Chapter 1

Awesome Story. I cannot believe you ended it there. I wanna know what happens next. I really loved it. Is there any chance I can convince you to write a sequel as I am dying to continue reading.

Reviewer: mini emma
Date: 08/06/06 18:35
Chapter: Chapter 1

That was a Awesome story. It was different and had a good description.My fave pairing is Ron and Hermione.

Author's Response: Wow. Um, I'm glad you liked it, but I have no idea why you told me you like R/Hr. Thanks for the thought, I guess.

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
Severus's Prince by DestinyMoonStar Professors
What does Severus Snape do when a one night stand turns into a baby boy? ...
The Youngest Death Eaters: Year III by DestinyMoonStar 6th-7th Years
Year 3 A year of hard choices and tough talks: Destiny learns about...
Allegiance by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor 6th-7th Years
During his final year at Hogwarts, Draco Malfoy had few illusions about where...
FEATURED
The Pretender by littlebird Professors
She feels the familiar pang of disappointment that they've never been better...
A Light in the Gap by WeasleyMom 3rd-5th Years
When Harry woke that first morning in Grimmauld Place, he wondered if Ron and...
Tapestry by Equinox Chick 1st-2nd Years
As Walburga Black stitches, Sirius rebels. Two poems written about the infamous...
The Weird Sisters - B-Sides and Rarities, Vol. 2 by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor 1st-2nd Years
The Weird Sisters are back for an encore. Ten more tracks from your MNFF authors.
CATEGORIES