Wow, Anna, you've done it again - left me breathless and anxious and wanting more. I'm going to force myself to stop gushing about how wonderful this story is, haha - and move on to the actual review. ;)
First, I was conflicted about the length of this story. On one hand, the focus on the disagreement brings into sharp detail many hidden characteristics and dynamics of the Draco/Ginny pairing. However, even I as a passionate shipper can't accept this pairing's existence without a decent amount of backstory, and I feel that you're missing it. :( A balance must be struck - so I think you need a touch of background (perhaps through Ginny's memories) of how the pairing came about. :)
And...I was also worried for a while that Draco might be too gentle with Ginny, to the point of OOCness. I've now decided that's one of this story's greatest strengths.
That leads nicely into the next part of my review! :) I really loved the unique approach you took. By highlighting the twilight of the D/G romance, you show a different (sad) side of their characters. They're still themselves - but the muted tones of their vibrant selves helps highlight how they react to trauma.
Draco's still pessimistic and worldly, but he's not cruel. Ginny's still passionate in her arguments, but she's lost the fiery rage that we often see in D/G.
In short, they remain the same and yet oh-so-different, and that's what makes this story unique and fabulous. :D
Also, your argument - the conflict of opposing sides - is so central to this pairing, and you've provided a unique reaction that is just gorgeous!!!
You are teh awesomest of D/G writers, Anna, and I
*cough* That review was supposed to be signed "The Order of Ravenclaw House Elves." (It's a forum thing.) So just disregard my stupidity and focus on how this raises the review count. ;)
Author's Response: *giggles* OK.
This a very lovely piece. I like how you start with a bang, almost in media res, where nothing is yet explained and the gaps have to be fillled in along the way. The emotions are well described, especially Ginny's emotions. Her excessive swearing is very in-character, because she's such an extroverted person; I doubt she'd keep such a strong emotion hidden. The storyline is just a little cliche, but just because something is used often doesn't mean it doesn't work. Quite the contrary! It's tried and tested, and so it usually works out well. It's just a little wearisome when you know the motives of a character front and back. I'm absolutely in love with the ending, though. It's brilliant. Wonderful job, Periwinkle.
Author's Response: *grins and blushes* Thank you so much! I saw this only today and it made my afternoon! It's nice to know that one's work is so appreciated. Your review is one of the better ones that I've gotten for this fic, thank you for explaining what you liked/didn't like so clearly. *hands out cookies*
Oh, your beginning is wonderful. The image of the shattered, glittering glass is a good match for her condensed anger.
So this is where we finish. I like the idea of Ginny talking to herself. I also love the repetition of the beginning bit, but I think it would be more effective if you left 'so' off of the second one.
It was the latest image they had taken together. Something about the use of 'image' in this sentence makes it hard to understand. Maybe you could use 'photograph' or say 'It was the last image for which they'd posed together'. Something like that.
Their conversation is powerful; it's riddled with anger and desperation and misunderstanding. Ginny's words and the metaphor of the picture that she uses are both effective in demonstrating the hopelessness she's feeling.
She was beginning to see sense in his words and they pained her. Comma after 'words'.
Draco was too head-strong and yet too weak for the Dark Lord. Oooh, I really like this revelation: it makes sense based on Draco's character. Headstrong is one word.
Gracious, Anna, the ending is marvelous! It's sad because it's ending, but there's always a promise of hope. What a perfect Pandora's box.
Author's Response: Hee, I read this on Turkey Day and it's a wonderful review Delaney. Thank you so much for the criticism and the praise. =) Happy Thanksgiving!
Anna, you are spectacular. Despite the fact that I'm in a good mood, I could still really appreciate this right now. I really liked the way you started the mood - breaking things is always cool. : )
The emotion you put into this is truly lovely. It's really easy to relate to a lot of what Ginny is feeling and that makes it really easy to read and understand. I especially liked the description of the photograph of the two of them and of the 'glossy fragments that reflected the moonlight from the open window.'
Of course, there's always the inevitable concrit that I must mention, alas. I think that for me, personally, I would take out the 'huh' in, So this is how it all ends up, huh? I think it makes it sound kind of awkward and young. Of course, personal preference is at fault.
Other than that little nit-pick, I really liked this. My favorite part is probably when Draco says he didn't want to hurt her, and Ginny replies 'you already hurt me!' It's a very powerful comment. You also finish it well with the title of 'Someday' being mirrored in the end - I've always been a fan of little touches like that. Great job, love! Now run off and go write some Ginny/Draco fluff!
Author's Response: *huggles* Ashley, love! Thank you for this wonderful review...I was afraid this story was not good, because it's gotten only a few reviews and I take that as an indicator...even though I shouldn't. I'm really glad that you enjoyed it though. =) I'll go run off and write some Ginny/Draco smut. After I'm done with something I'm writing right now, of course. *huggles*
I was looking on your author's page and I came across this story. It's really touching and I think you displayed the characters, especially Ginny, really well. I also love the first line,
She burst tumultuously into the room
because when an author uses a word like tumultuously in the first line, you know it's going to be good. ;) I like it. :)
Author's Response: Awww! If you would just have said 'I was looking on your author's page' and nothing else, that would have sufficed. I am so honored that people actually like my stories and take the time to read them. You can't possibly know how much this review means to me! You've made my day, dear. Millions of thanks!
Great entrance. The emotion really comes through.
I love the picture and Ginny’s thoughts on it. It’s perfect – she was safe with him, and he left her, so what safety is left?
Couple very minor grammar points:
“Where there had been inexpressible sorrow, now was molten anger.” This is just a tad awkward. I’d rephrase slightly to something like “Inexpressible sorrow was replaced by molten anger.” It’s not quite the same effect, but it rolls off the tongue better.
“She sugared her voice with a sweet tone as she backed to the window and took the picture frame.” This is a little redundant. Maybe you could take out one of the sugar/sweet references.
I was a little confused about how much time elapsed between the break-up and Draco’s return, but I think that’s just because I had a preconceived notion that it had been a long time.
Lovely ending. Of course they’re both right – Ginny can fight all she wants, but it’s pretty hard fighting the Dark Lord by yourself, even if you’re the Boy Who Lived, and obviously she’s not. But I like how Draco holds on too, if only a little.
Great emotion through all of it. Very true to what I think would happen (if Draco and Ginny ever had a properly established relationship, and then broke up in fear of Voldemort, lol). Well done!
Author's Response: Thank you Katie! You pointed out exactly what I wanted to hear, as those sentences where giving me trouble. I'm glad you found it realistic and enjoyed it! =) Thank you so much for you lovely comments!