MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!
Reviews For Torn

Name: Miss Radcliffe (Signed) · Date: 08/22/06 21:43 · For: Chapter 1
Absolutely beautiful. Great job.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I am pleased to hear you liked it.

Name: FelicisQuill (Signed) · Date: 08/19/06 9:03 · For: Chapter 1
I have to tell you that this was one of the best one-shots that I have ever read on mugglenet. I loved all your detail, and I think you did a good job of portraying the characters in a way that j.k. rowling would be proud of! Great work!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your kind and heartfelt words. They truly mean a lot! I appreciate the time you took to read and review the story. This site wouldn't be possible without people like you!

Name: pammiez_x3 (Signed) · Date: 08/15/06 21:15 · For: Chapter 1
Great fic! The lyrics fit in perfectly!

Author's Response: Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it.

Name: Tilby (Signed) · Date: 08/06/06 20:23 · For: Chapter 1
Please, PLEASE don't keep this as a one shot! this is so good!

Author's Response: Although, now that I think of it...it was originally written as a chapter in another story I was thinking of writing. So don't lose hope, it could show up as part of another story...without the lyrics, of course! Thanks for the enthusiastic review! You made my day!

Name: Tilby (Signed) · Date: 08/06/06 17:20 · For: Chapter 1
wait.... please tell me this wasn't a one shot! it says i't completed! no! u have to keep goign w/ this! please!

Author's Response: Sorry, *wincing* but it is only a one-shot. Glad to hear it left you wanting more though :)

Name: Tilby (Signed) · Date: 08/06/06 17:18 · For: Chapter 1

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I am very pleased to hear that you enjoyed the story, but I blush at the comparison to JKR. Still, I'm glad to hear that someone else enjoyed wandering through the reception with me. It was great fun to write!

Name: MayItBe (Signed) · Date: 08/06/06 12:09 · For: Chapter 1
Wow. This was really good, I've read many different fics about Ginny and Harry at the wedding, but I really loved how you had Harry perusing the gardens with his eyes to show everything going on, but the main focus on Ginny and himself.

Author's Response: Thank you for your kind words! I am so happy to hear that you enjoyed attending the reception through Harry's eyes. I thought it might add a bit more depth to the scene than to just jump right into things between Harry and Ginny. Thanks for taking the time to read & review!

Name: _Hermione_Granger_ (Signed) · Date: 08/06/06 2:48 · For: Chapter 1
Amazing! will there be more?

Author's Response: Thank you for the review. I hadn't planned for this to go beyond a one-shot songfic...but it has the potential to pop up as a chapter in a more developed story in the future...without the lyrics of course. Glad to hear you enjoyed it :)

Name: Chaser47 (Signed) · Date: 08/05/06 23:09 · For: Chapter 1
Very nice songfic, however, I thought that the story could have been just as good, without the lyrics. They didn't really seem to influence the story very much, although I can see that they were your inspiration to write this, were they not? Anyways, here are some typos/grammatical errors that I encountered:

'Harry stood in the garden just outside the Burrow; only it didn’t look like the garden he knew.'
I think that the semicolon there would be better as a comma. The semicolon is usually used for thoughts that are pretty different from each other, whereas this sentenance the semicolon only breaks up the description.

'The evening summer air was laden with the heavy scent of white and pink roses.'
This sentenance would be better if you changed it to 'the heavy scent of the pink and white roses. Without the word the, it seems as if you can smell the roses actual color.

“You’re getting ready to go after Him…aren’t you?”
There should be a space after the elipses, but I think that the elipses would be better replaced with a comma.

You have a knack for descriptions, and your writing style in this passage is definately suited to the romance category. I thought that both Harry and Ginny were in very in character throughout the fic, however I find it hard to believe that they would act so passionately in front of everyone. It was described that they were in plain sight, and you have to remember that many of Ginny's relatives and family friends were in attendance. I think that they would have at least made an attempt to go somewhere more private then where they were.

You are a gifted romance writer, I can tell. Keep up the good work!

Author's Response: Actually, the lyrics were not the inspiration for this one-shot. The story itself was in place long before I decided to use them. I simply wanted to take a shot at writing a song-fic and felt the words to Collide fit well into the body of the work. As for the typos & grammatical errors that you mentioned...all I can say is, "live and learn." I appreciate the constructive criticism and will bear them in mind in the future. As far as Ginny and Harry being too passionate in front of the others, that is not what I envisioned when I wrote this. In my mind's eye (and perhaps I needed to be a bit more clear about this) they were not right on top of everyone else. I thought that the fact that Harry noted in the story that it wasn't like Ginny to isolate herself indicated this. While I tend to agree that under normal circumstances they would be a bit more careful around the relatives, I don't see this encounter as being normal for them. Ginny is receiving confirmation for the first time that Harry is leaving (and neither know when he will be back...if ever). In spite of this, Harry is also hearing for the first time in his life that someone actually loves him. These two occurrences, combined with their natural attraction for one another is bound to ignite a passionate spark. If nothing else, chalk it up to two people forgetting where they are and with whom they are with when it happens. While I don't admit to being a romance writer in any way, shape or form I do appreciate your complimentary words. My writing career is much too young and green for me to commit to any one genre. I just write what I like and hope others like it too. Thanks for the read and review. It is truly appreciated!

Name: hippyotter26 (Signed) · Date: 08/05/06 23:09 · For: Chapter 1
i love it!

Author's Response: Hey, thanks! Glad to hear it struck a chord!

Name: iam007stina (Signed) · Date: 08/05/06 22:41 · For: Chapter 1
How romantic!! This is one of the best tellings of their encounter that I have read in a while. He still seems like he is going to push her away at the end which is a very Harry thing to do (irritating, yes, but Harry).

Author's Response: Thank you for taking the time to read and review. I too feel that any surrender on Harry's part is going to be overshadowed by his fear or need to protect her - in spite of what he may truly feel. I appreciate the feedback.

Name: Ginzig (Signed) · Date: 08/05/06 21:58 · For: Chapter 1
Nice, but sad. We'll written.

Author's Response: Thank you for the feedback. It is truly appreciated!

Name: purplepanther (Signed) · Date: 08/05/06 19:30 · For: Chapter 1
Great job! I loved it!

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! Glad to hear you liked it!

You must login (register) to review.