Happy Holidays and happy Deathly hallows day!
Another wonderful chapter from the wonderful Hayli!
What I liked about this chapter (And of course the whole fic) is that we can see that Audrey is growing up - of course, she's graduated from Hogwarts, but we get to see her being filled with more knowledge from the Department of Mysteries, and also I think she learns more about life, and slowly becomes more...mature. It's hard to explain, but I think mature is the best word there.
A smalle nit-pick: "...Either Martin McGonogall, a family friend that I I keep in touch with every so often..."
I think you mean 'McGonagall' instead of 'McGonogall', and you've put two 'I's.
And also, "...I had recognized him from when I attended Hogwarts as he was in Ravenclaw as well and was just a year older than I..."
I would put a comma after 'Hogwarts', but it might be me just liking commas too much.
I always wonder if Unspeakables are allowed to repeat knowledge and facts from the manua/DoMl in other places, such as Audrey's diary. Or maybe they're allowed to repeat parts of their knowledge in one place only, and Audrey's chosen her diary?
Anyway, I like how Audrey incooporates little snippets of her life outside the DoM. It shows us that she's not only an Unspeakable, but she's a living human/witch as well.
The part I especially liked was: I must go to bed now. It is very late and Catie is already asleep on her little bed. I’ll update here as soon as I get the chance.
It makes me smile just thinking about Catie curled up in her bed! It's heart-warming and it's a nice way to end the chapter. I hope we can see more of Catie in the future as well :)
Now...I've heard what's going to happen between Audrey and Augustus, and so I'm really excited! I'm wondering if it was Augustus who sent Audrey the rose....heehee.
Overall some more descriptions throughout the story would have given it a bit more meat, but it was still enjoyable as it is. I look forward to reading more about Audrey. (And Augustus ;))
happy bday audrey!
great story i love it.. i know sth happens to rookwood but i dont remember wat. Is this in harrys time or before?(
First off, great entry! I’d like to see you go far in this competition! It’s a different format tomost entries, and it gives it more of a personal approach, a more secretive tone. A few nit-picks, though - “Department of Mysteries,
but hopefully that will all change very soon.” - The formatting is a little off here, but nothing too big. Just me being pedantic! :)
… “places and rooms in the Department of Mysteris” -Just a spelling mistake, nothing huge. Just insert an ‘e’ before the ‘s’ in Mysteries, and you’ll be right!
… “Perhaps Madame Malkins” Now, a few things. ‘Madame’ is the Americanised form of the British ‘Madam’ and in the books, it’s without the ‘e’. Also, if you’re referring to the shop as Madam Malkin’s shop then it’s ‘Madam Malkin’s’ with an apostrophe.
But, despite those little errors, a great one-shot and look into life at the Department of Mysteries! Good Luck to you!
That is a very interesting story, I really like reading about prophesies.I like Audrey Watkins, too, because she is always so nice to her kitten.
Audrey Watkins is an amazing character - I loved reading this story, and I enjoyed reading Audrey's diary.
The little snippets about Rookwood made it easier for me to relate to Audrey and the Unspeakables, though I would have liked to have heard more about why she became one in the first place.
I loved reading about the little details about the Department of Mysteries, such as the Planet Room with no gravity, and the manual.
Also, it was nice to be able to see some of Audrey's normal life outside the Department as well. There's a part when she says 'Anyways', but I think a plain 'Anyway' would be more British/
The paragraphs of the diary seemed a little disjoined, but maybe that's just me.
This story was fun to read - yay for Unspeakables!