This was awesome! :) I loved your use of present tense, for one - I haven't read many stories like that, and you did a great job staying consistent with it. I also liked how you never used the Marauder's names, but their animal forms instead. This gave their characters a new dimension.
I thought the descriptive imagery was fantastic. I particularly liked how you wrote about the moon, creating a character out of an inanimate object.
The final paragraph, when the werewolf transforms back, was wonderful. The contrasts between the sun and moon were perfect, as was the final line.
I really enjoyed reading this different look at the Marauder's. You write with incredible style and depth. Keep up the great work and good luck with your future writing!! ~Gina :)
Author's Response:
Present tense is my...thing if you would. I think that in most cases, it allows you to get more inside a character's head or the moment more than past tense allows
VV wanted me to them in CAPS like in Narnia to show the difference-Rat, Stag, Wolf and Dog. :P Think I should've?
Thanks, I'm quite proud of the personification on the moon as well
Thank so much, again. I don't plan on stopping anytime soon and thanks for the luck!
i really like the story it sounds so cool
Author's Response: Thank you
That is one of the most interesting depictions of this subject I think I have ever read. Normally, most of Remus's transformations are not from his point of view and I think that is what draws me to this story. It shoows the pure instinct that grips a feral animal. I particularly liked your use of the term blood-lust. It made me squirm to think of Sirius bitten by a werewolf, though I liked his thoughts on Peter riding shotgun.
Wonderful Job!
Author's Response:
Well. There was supposed to be a bit more going on between the werewolf and Pads, but this is a family friendly site, so....(I lie. O how I lie. Couldn't write such a scene if I wanted to.)
Call Peter comedic relief, shall we?
Thank you so much!
Your description here is very powerful. You actively engage the reader's senses - the sensory images are layered and complex here. Good characterization of Remus' friends in their animagus forms - I like how you use James' stag as a protector for Pettigrew. You paint a very sad picture with that image. In spite of how you didn't intend for it to go this way, it's very, very good. Well done.
Author's Response:
hank you for the lovely review!
So interesting that you read the stag as the rat's protector; it wasn't meant like that in any way. Honest that it was merely a practical thing in regards to how a rat could not possibly keep up with a wolf on the hunt all night. The logical thing was for him to travel on Prongs or Padfoot. Cool though, that you read it that way.
Thanks again!
I like the last two paragraphs a lot. I love when you compare the moon's changing of the wolf to the sun's changing of the wolf. Very poetic writing, and it flows wonderfully.
First review! :-)
Author's Response:
I'm quite fond of them myself. There was, admittedly, a point in the transformation when it was starting to sound like Remus/sun smut which is why it wrapped up as quickly as it did, but I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Thank you so much!
