This was awesome! :) I loved your use of present tense, for one - I haven't read many stories like that, and you did a great job staying consistent with it. I also liked how you never used the Marauder's names, but their animal forms instead. This gave their characters a new dimension.
I thought the descriptive imagery was fantastic. I particularly liked how you wrote about the moon, creating a character out of an inanimate object.
The final paragraph, when the werewolf transforms back, was wonderful. The contrasts between the sun and moon were perfect, as was the final line.
I really enjoyed reading this different look at the Marauder's. You write with incredible style and depth. Keep up the great work and good luck with your future writing!! ~Gina :)
Present tense is my...thing if you would. I think that in most cases, it allows you to get more inside a character's head or the moment more than past tense allows
VV wanted me to them in CAPS like in Narnia to show the difference-Rat, Stag, Wolf and Dog. :P Think I should've?
Thanks, I'm quite proud of the personification on the moon as well
Thank so much, again. I don't plan on stopping anytime soon and thanks for the luck!
i really like the story it sounds so cool
Author's Response: Thank you
That is one of the most interesting depictions of this subject I think I have ever read. Normally, most of Remus's transformations are not from his point of view and I think that is what draws me to this story. It shoows the pure instinct that grips a feral animal. I particularly liked your use of the term blood-lust. It made me squirm to think of Sirius bitten by a werewolf, though I liked his thoughts on Peter riding shotgun.
Well. There was supposed to be a bit more going on between the werewolf and Pads, but this is a family friendly site, so....(I lie. O how I lie. Couldn't write such a scene if I wanted to.)
Call Peter comedic relief, shall we?
Thank you so much!
Your description here is very powerful. You actively engage the reader's senses - the sensory images are layered and complex here. Good characterization of Remus' friends in their animagus forms - I like how you use James' stag as a protector for Pettigrew. You paint a very sad picture with that image. In spite of how you didn't intend for it to go this way, it's very, very good. Well done.
hank you for the lovely review!
So interesting that you read the stag as the rat's protector; it wasn't meant like that in any way. Honest that it was merely a practical thing in regards to how a rat could not possibly keep up with a wolf on the hunt all night. The logical thing was for him to travel on Prongs or Padfoot. Cool though, that you read it that way.
I like the last two paragraphs a lot. I love when you compare the moon's changing of the wolf to the sun's changing of the wolf. Very poetic writing, and it flows wonderfully.
First review! :-)
I'm quite fond of them myself. There was, admittedly, a point in the transformation when it was starting to sound like Remus/sun smut which is why it wrapped up as quickly as it did, but I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Thank you so much!