First off, Iíll give you points for being able to write poetry. It sounded great, and conveyed an interesting story through so few words. I really donít read that much poetry, but I didnít notice a few things. The main thing I noticed first, though, was ĎSryí in your Authorís Note. Itís not all that important, but when writing itís advised not top use netspeak. Also, your very first word, Ďthanksí should be capitalised.
Whilst reading, I thought that you gave the veil an aura of mystique, but perhaps thatís just me not used to poetry. :) I liked how you gave it more depth than people in narratives usually do, through a good use of words and the structure of the poem. My favourite line(s) of the poem would have to be, though Ė
Simple and pure
Complex and Tainted
Even he was cautious of its power
Because isnít everyone cautious of the power of love? It brings a great deal of thought to the poem. Good first chapter, I hope you continue with this story.
Author's Response: Thanks for the great review. I didn't even realize I used netspeak. I'm just so used to typingvvery fast. But thanks again for the review. It makes an author's day when they get a good review. P.S. Did you notice I capitalized thanks in the right spots.