What a wonderful story of a daughter's search to know her father! (even if she doesn't realize it at first). I bet he is still working away in that room...and since time holds the love, he probably hasn't aged a bit. :)
I really like how she finds out the truth about her father. That room seems very thrilling, too! I hope there are more Jemina one-shots soon!
Good job! I think you did a great job introducing the characters here and in drawing the reader into the mystery of the locked room. I liked how you revealed some things, but not too much-- makes for an evil cliff hanger.
This turned out very well! You did a good job with the beginning, setting the tone and establishing your first person point of view. I still want to know more about Darlene, for some reason. I guess its because she did so much talking there at the end. I liked the bit about them changing to go out for dinner in the Muggle word, that was very cute. And of course, you have set up a great sequel for yourself: what happened to Charles Doyle?? This I really want to know! Are you planning on Jemina going into the locked room to find her father? Or will he finally come back out??
Nice job and good luck in the HHWP!! ~Gina :)
Author's Response: I set up a sequel on purpose, however I'm not committing to anything. Last time I promised a sequel, it took me six months to write it.
Well I don't know how fair it is to review a story I beta'd lol. But Emily did a great job with her stories for the DoM Hospital Wing Project.
She definitely put a lot of thought into her stories and I'm glad I was able to help her!