Reviews For Just a Dream
Reviewer: ravenclawrox
Date: 08/02/06 8:39
Chapter: Just a Dream - One-Shot

oh whoops sorry about the triple post ;)

Author's Response: No problem at all...=) The more reviews, the happier I am! (even if they're, well, exactly the same. =p)

Reviewer: FanFicFanatic12
Date: 07/31/06 18:18
Chapter: Just a Dream - One-Shot

I like the mirrored paragraph at the end--very cool. This a great interpretatin of that Halloween, and was a great read. It's just so sad! I think you did a good job of capturing the fear that both Lily and James felt when Voldemort showed up. :-)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reviewing!!! It's made my day so very very very much better...=)

Reviewer: ravenclawrox
Date: 07/31/06 12:57
Chapter: Just a Dream - One-Shot

i loved it! and i liked how you used the same paragraph at the beginning and end but it was real at the end. 10/10

Author's Response: Thank you thank you thank you! (One for each review! =p)

Reviewer: ravenclawrox
Date: 07/31/06 12:56
Chapter: Just a Dream - One-Shot

i loved it! and i liked how you used the same paragraph at the beginning and end but it was real at the end. 10/10

Reviewer: ravenclawrox
Date: 07/31/06 12:56
Chapter: Just a Dream - One-Shot

i loved it! and i liked how you used the same paragraph at the beginning and end but it was real at the end. 10/10

Reviewer: GaryF
Date: 07/31/06 11:06
Chapter: Just a Dream - One-Shot

A good effortl; I think I've read this scene a hundred or so times and this one didn't grab me as being greatly different from them.

Wriritng the majority of it in italics really wasn't helpful at all. There's only so much italicising the mind can take. Adding to that as well, the first par is repeated at the end of the story - seemingly an error on your part before submitting? And an error or two here with "Voldemort walked Lily and the crib she stood in front of."

There is some well worked imagery going on throughout, but I'd recommend that you look at your punctuation.

There are a number of places where you could have used a semi-colon where you opted for a full stop, so there is a lot of stopping and starting.

Your title Just a Dream is misleading. Is Lily really dreaming here or is it the actually happening? The three of them are asleep, and Lily wakes up, but James is already awake and downstairs, so in fact all three werent sleeping.

And why does he need to go down the hallway, down the stairs and into a kitchen to get a glass of water?

And what's a magical baby monitor? There was no indication how something like that worked. What kind of magic is involved etc?

Author's Response: Thank you for the review! Well, considering the fact that the exact same thing must happen at the end, it doesn't surprise me that this story doesn't strike you as different from the rest. There's only so much you can change when the outcome is already decided. The italics are there to show that Lily is dreaming. You'll see at the end that the last paragraph (which IS supposed to be there) is not in italics- that's because it is actually happening. Thanks for pointing that out- I accidentally forgot a word...=p James didn't need to get a glass of water. Lily was just trying to think of an excuse for why he wasn't there. She was trying to convince herself that she she was getting scared for no good reason. Seeing as the baby moniter doesn't play a big (or even a small) role in the story, I figured it wouldn't be necessary to explain the idea behind it. I imagine that a magical baby moniter works the same way as a muggle one, but is powered by magic. The reason it's magical instead of just an ordinary baby moniter is that the Potters are a wizarding family, and wizarding families don't often use random muggle objects. Generally, magic is preferred. It makes sense that there would be such a thing as a magical baby moniter because most parents like to hear if their child starts crying or something, so that they can do something about it, and why would a parent with magic be any different? Again, thank you for reviewing!

Reviewer: slimemonster
Date: 07/31/06 6:07
Chapter: Just a Dream - One-Shot

nice - very original



Author's Response: Thank you!!!

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