Reviewer: StodgePoopin
Date: 07/01/07 16:30
Chapter: Head Boy?!

I'm sorry, your story has promise, but it is absoloutely unbearable to read due to your clumsy syntax and unforgiveable spelling. I mean, what prospective author mis spells 'wiper' which by the way DOESN'T have an 'h'.

Reviewer: Hermione Clone
Date: 06/28/07 20:42
Chapter: An Unexpected Turn

I like this, though I doubt Dumbledore wouldn't give them seperate rooms. If I were Lily, I'd want some privacy. I guess they want to try and get the two together. Good story.

Reviewer: HeRmYgInS
Date: 06/28/07 15:28
Chapter: Pranking the Prankster

THANKS YOU! I missed this story sooo much! "Sirius banged on the bathroom door where the screaming continued. “James?! Are you giving birth in there?”"

Great job, one of the best chapters yet!

Reviewer: Karya
Date: 06/26/07 23:08
Chapter: Pranking the Prankster

It is really good cant wait for the next chapter!

Reviewer: PolkaDotted
Date: 06/26/07 22:54
Chapter: A Welcome Back Kiss...

I'm sorry, but I have a hard time believing, as you said on your profile page, that you are hoping to get a book published when you can't even manage to spell simple words correctly. I don't even want to finish reading this particular fanfic until you can learn what spell check or proof reading is.

Reviewer: kattmoo
Date: 06/26/07 1:08
Chapter: Pranking the Prankster

mooney should be moony.
and i dont think james would actually fool around with a girl just after lily breaks things off.
madam pomfrey is the nurse, NOT librarian.
classes dont occur on the same day as quidditch matches.
definatly should be definitely.
transfiguration. NOT transfiguring. theres no such thing.
youre beginning to get peter and james confused.
before, manhein was a girl, why is she now a boy?

Reviewer: kattmoo
Date: 06/26/07 0:41
Chapter: Some Startling Reveilences

i dont understand what the conversation between molly and alanna meant....too jumpy.
the whole prank done by sirius was completely useless, sorry.
i think if you had just played out the story more slowly, you wouldnt need such a lame and sloppy cover up for conflict.
im really sorry if i sound like a completely rude person in my reviews, but i think its a disgrace to waste such a good plot idea with trivial errors just tossed about everywhere you look!

Reviewer: kattmoo
Date: 06/26/07 0:24
Chapter: Some Startling Reveilences

for the title, i think you mean "Revelations" not that other word, that i cant even tell what it is.

Reviewer: kattmoo
Date: 06/26/07 0:23
Chapter: A Secret Told

omfg. this seems completely out of character for everyone. too rushed. the year just started and theyve already has sex.
way too much rushing going on.
you should at least put an AU warning on this, as well as sexual situations.

Reviewer: kattmoo
Date: 06/26/07 0:16
Chapter: The War Begins...

"Sirius sweared loudly. “Damn it! Someday I will fight her to the death and kill her. She irritates me…’ "
not something you would say after being tortured! and bellatrix is completely out of character.
once again, way too rushed! please please please get a beta! and preferably not the one who asked you to in one of the reviews, because she couldnt spell either! (no offense to anyone)

Reviewer: kattmoo
Date: 06/26/07 0:08
Chapter: The Beginings of Love

another thing, was the wound on her arm or leg? it switched around in it somewhere.

Reviewer: kattmoo
Date: 06/26/07 0:05
Chapter: The Beginings of Love

"He still couldn’t understand why Voldemort had triggered the Aurors." wat do you mean here?
im pretty sure animagi cannot talk.
this story pains me so much, because it has potential to be completely wonderful, but your writing is very sloppy!

Reviewer: kattmoo
Date: 06/25/07 23:54
Chapter: The Beginings of Love

btw, its Slytherin. not the other way your spelling, and Maurders should be Marauders

Reviewer: kattmoo
Date: 06/25/07 23:51
Chapter: The Love of a Son

still rushed, but good plot. still repeating, but not as many spelling errors!

Reviewer: kattmoo
Date: 06/25/07 23:40
Chapter: An Unexpected Turn

this chapter is very very cliched!
do you really think teachers would have a boy and girl share a room for an entire 9 months?

Reviewer: kattmoo
Date: 06/25/07 23:27
Chapter: A Welcome Back Kiss...

ok, once again really good plot, and not only are the spelling errors almost unbearable, but i think it jumps around too much, if that makes sense.
everything that is written, is written very well, but i think if you add some more connecting sentences it would be much better.
also, it's very repetitive with some words, so try substituting with more generalized words.
and wtf why is snape hugging lily?
ok im done now =]

Reviewer: kattmoo
Date: 06/25/07 23:05
Chapter: Head Boy?!

ummm, good plot for a first chapter, but there are loads of typo-es.
and, it was a bit rushed at the end....

Reviewer: HarperLee
Date: 06/25/07 19:42
Chapter: Head Boy?!

I am sorry, but this story has HORRIBLE
spelling errors, and it is entirely IMPOSSIBLE
to read becasue of them!
Please fix it!

Reviewer: HarperLee
Date: 06/25/07 19:40
Chapter: A Welcome Back Kiss...

I am sorry, but this story has HORRIBLE
spelling errors, and it is entirely IMPOSSIBLE
to read becasue of them!
Plase fix it!

Reviewer: Pixie Flite
Date: 06/25/07 18:54
Chapter: An Unexpected Turn

Shnikey. You need to work on spelling. Otherwise, it s all yummy!

You must login (register) to review.
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.

We have stories and authors in this archive.


Choose Theme:
Epithalamium by Squibstress Professors
Minerva McGonagall is a bright, talented witch with dreams of becoming the first...
Not From Others by FloreatCastellum 6th-7th Years
She may not have been able to join Harry, Ron and Hermione, but Ginny refuses...
The Marred Boy by Padfoot11333 1st-2nd Years
The two Marauders who were outcasts in their own homes. I am Padfoot11333...
whimper by psijupiter 6th-7th Years
I play to my strengths. As do we all. In the midst of the first wizarding...
Over A Mug of Tea by hestiajones 1st-2nd Years
I think of her as a sister. The words rang clearly, loudly in his mind. I...
Gaps Between by lucca4 6th-7th Years
Falling in love teaches Dennis Creevey that sometimes, needing someone isn't...
To Fear the Flame by Acacia Carter 3rd-5th Years
Neville hadn't expected his boggart to ever change. Perhaps he should have done.
Good King Ragnuk by Oregonian 1st-2nd Years
Ragnuk, King of the Goblins and master silversmith, forged a sword for Godric...