MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!

Name: rita_skeeter (Signed) · Date: 10/23/05 15:30 · For: A Secret Told
This is a brilliant story with a great plotline, but you need to watch your spelling and grammar. Apart from that, well done! Please update soon!

Name: abnormalyblonde (Anonymous) · Date: 09/11/05 10:02 · For: Head Boy?!
arghhh Alyssa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Name: Free_Phoenix (Signed) · Date: 09/03/05 9:29 · For: A Secret Told
Brilliant, in one of the chapters you spelt enjoy wrong, you spelt it injoy.

Name: James_and_Lily_Potter (Signed) · Date: 09/02/05 17:33 · For: A Secret Told
I LOVE your story SO much it's really awesome. Please update SOON!

Name: Starlight1444 (Signed) · Date: 08/16/05 15:42 · For: A Secret Told
Wonderful story. Please update soon.

Name: Little_hoole3333 (Signed) · Date: 08/14/05 23:14 · For: A Secret Told
They had....they had....they did.......AHHHHHH!!!! Good story though.

Name: abnormalyblonde (Anonymous) · Date: 08/10/05 0:56 · For: A Secret Told
hey alyssa...rnt u gonna update already...i know ur in a busy mind but we want to read it...bYeZ...BlOnDiE

Name: SuGaRCoAt3dHoN3y (Signed) · Date: 08/05/05 16:30 · For: A Secret Told
Ur story is sooo good... This is my first time reviewing but i've read all of da chapters... and omg i luv it.... Keep writing..... I luv it to death... I kno i'm a freak but hey at least i luv ur story.... LoL.... Update soon...

Name: KJRowling (Signed) · Date: 08/05/05 6:48 · For: An Unexpected Turn
We haven't been told where the headboy and girl sleep but I doubt they share a room, I could be wrong.

Name: liliana1122 (Signed) · Date: 07/29/05 11:19 · For: A Secret Told
OMG, ive started reading ur story as soon as i signed up here on mugglenet and i love ur story so much! ur a great writer!! keep going and never stop with james/lily stories!!!

Name: Sophia Loren (Signed) · Date: 07/27/05 0:09 · For: A Secret Told
Hey! I really loved the story, but there were a lot of grammatical errors like the wrong 'here' and the wrong 'your' and that kind of thing. I did think they were moving really fast, too. And also, Carre'e' is not the French word for room, FYI, and I should know, I've been in a French school for eight years and speak it fluently. The word is actually 'Chambre,' so you might want to change that. Sorry, I'm a tough critic. I could make a really long review and correct all your errors, but I'll only do that if you want me to. Keep writing, it's pretty good! Well, that's all for now. ~Sophia~

Name: abnormalyblonde (Anonymous) · Date: 05/19/05 15:36 · For: A Secret Told
hey alyssa, it emily all i can say is you have a lot of mistakes in the story and nice Chapter 9 the chapter 8 wasnt in the binder you gave me at school...and i still have it cuz i couldnt find u...i didnt like lily getting hurt earlier in the story though it was a bit rude...and how James helped her was awesome...well i g2 say it was a definate 10 and i g2 get back to my Hermione and Draco stories...they are yelling my name and telling me to read; read; read...TTyl and plz email me back already.....oh and my other name is Blondie_34_1@yahoo.com byez Blondie

Name: Dan_D_Lion (Signed) · Date: 05/09/05 20:18 · For: A Secret Told
This is a cute story but Lily and James’ relation moved a little too fast. Slow down a little. :) Ok, well I have to do this. I hope you don’t mind but I love leaving long reviews. Here goes *cracks fingers*.

Didn't Dumbledore here of what happened last night? ‘Here’ should be ‘hear’. James smiled and set the bowl aside. "You fainted so I brought you up here." After ‘aside’ you should have a comma. Same with this sentence, She glared at him. "And I had a right to faint! What were you doing on the grounds with a werewolf?!" she asked sharply. Get rid of the period and change that to a comma. You have a lot more of those, but I didn’t want to put them all down into this review. So, basically every time you have someone talk, add a comma. [Ex: She said, “Bla bla bla.” “Blabity blab,” he answered.] You get my drift?

"Yes, James Potter. I have. Ok, here is my opinion. It would honestly sound better if you had a comma after ‘Potter’ and before ‘I’. But that is my opinion.

Now, before that little… eh, momentary kissing part, Lily seemed a little OOC. You do a really good job, what with all of the characters you have to include, but watch out on those parts. Afterwards, I really liked the part where she was beating James, "James Potter, put me down! I have two legs! Don't make me jinx you!" Cute.

You have a really good story going on, you just need to watch your grammar. You seem to cut your sentences short. Don’t be afraid of a little comma here or there. Otherwise, this story is so cute! I love Lily and James. This is a cute story, very interesting with James and Lily having to share a same room (what was Dumbledore thinking?). Hmm… Well, carry on. Dani

Name: Prongs (Signed) · Date: 05/09/05 16:55 · For: A Secret Told
wow this is great!!! But they had sex? Wow didn't sound like that, and they move faaaast!!! Lol i luv this story this so please update soon!!! I luved how u ended it there and not with a cliffie!

Name: June Blue (Signed) · Date: 05/08/05 1:27 · For: Head Boy?!
Can't wait untill the next chapter!!!!!!!!

Name: Flgirl4life (Signed) · Date: 05/05/05 19:17 · For: A Secret Told
Yeah!!!!! I can review! I was having trouble because of the error you can see on the home page. Anyway, I have been reading your stroy and this chapter is great! Please review! 10/10

Name: u know who (Signed) · Date: 04/25/05 7:20 · For: Head Boy?!
loved it.... however... please run the spell check things... uve got a million spelling mistakes there... n its marauder not maurder.... the plot seems interesting n funny

Name: truthfinder (Signed) · Date: 04/15/05 16:53 · For: A Secret Told
It was Brillant. I do have one comment more detail and then make it R! (I don't mean the making love more detail) BRILLANT!

Name: imo (Signed) · Date: 04/14/05 13:35 · For: A Secret Told
Loved it! *10*. What more can I say? Well, I could say the miss-types annoyed me a bit, but hey...that's just me being picky!

Name: irishphoenix (Signed) · Date: 04/13/05 19:29 · For: Head Boy?!
that was good ... very good. got me laughing. ~10~

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