This is a brilliant story with a great plotline, but you need to watch your spelling and grammar. Apart from that, well done! Please update soon!
Brilliant, in one of the chapters you spelt enjoy wrong, you spelt it injoy.
I LOVE your story SO much it's really awesome. Please update SOON!
Wonderful story. Please update soon.
They had....they had....they did.......AHHHHHH!!!! Good story though.
hey alyssa...rnt u gonna update already...i know ur in a busy mind but we want to read it...bYeZ...BlOnDiE
Ur story is sooo good... This is my first time reviewing but i've read all of da chapters... and omg i luv it.... Keep writing..... I luv it to death... I kno i'm a freak but hey at least i luv ur story.... LoL.... Update soon...
We haven't been told where the headboy and girl sleep but I doubt they share a room, I could be wrong.
OMG, ive started reading ur story as soon as i signed up here on mugglenet and i love ur story so much! ur a great writer!! keep going and never stop with james/lily stories!!!
Hey! I really loved the story, but there were a lot of grammatical errors like the wrong 'here' and the wrong 'your' and that kind of thing. I did think they were moving really fast, too. And also, Carre'e' is not the French word for room, FYI, and I should know, I've been in a French school for eight years and speak it fluently. The word is actually 'Chambre,' so you might want to change that. Sorry, I'm a tough critic. I could make a really long review and correct all your errors, but I'll only do that if you want me to. Keep writing, it's pretty good! Well, that's all for now. ~Sophia~
hey alyssa, it emily all i can say is you have a lot of mistakes in the story and nice Chapter 9 the chapter 8 wasnt in the binder you gave me at school...and i still have it cuz i couldnt find u...i didnt like lily getting hurt earlier in the story though it was a bit rude...and how James helped her was awesome...well i g2 say it was a definate 10 and i g2 get back to my Hermione and Draco stories...they are yelling my name and telling me to read; read; read...TTyl and plz email me back already.....oh and my other name is Blondie_34_1@yahoo.com byez Blondie
This is a cute story but Lily and James’ relation moved a little too fast. Slow down a little. :) Ok, well I have to do this. I hope you don’t mind but I love leaving long reviews. Here goes *cracks fingers*. Didn't Dumbledore here of what happened last night? ‘Here’ should be ‘hear’. James smiled and set the bowl aside. "You fainted so I brought you up here." After ‘aside’ you should have a comma. Same with this sentence, She glared at him. "And I had a right to faint! What were you doing on the grounds with a werewolf?!" she asked sharply. Get rid of the period and change that to a comma. You have a lot more of those, but I didn’t want to put them all down into this review. So, basically every time you have someone talk, add a comma. [Ex: She said, “Bla bla bla.” “Blabity blab,” he answered.] You get my drift? "Yes, James Potter. I have. Ok, here is my opinion. It would honestly sound better if you had a comma after ‘Potter’ and before ‘I’. But that is my opinion. Now, before that little… eh, momentary kissing part, Lily seemed a little OOC. You do a really good job, what with all of the characters you have to include, but watch out on those parts. Afterwards, I really liked the part where she was beating James, "James Potter, put me down! I have two legs! Don't make me jinx you!" Cute. You have a really good story going on, you just need to watch your grammar. You seem to cut your sentences short. Don’t be afraid of a little comma here or there. Otherwise, this story is so cute! I love Lily and James. This is a cute story, very interesting with James and Lily having to share a same room (what was Dumbledore thinking?). Hmm… Well, carry on. Dani
wow this is great!!! But they had sex? Wow didn't sound like that, and they move faaaast!!! Lol i luv this story this so please update soon!!! I luved how u ended it there and not with a cliffie!
Can't wait untill the next chapter!!!!!!!!
Yeah!!!!! I can review! I was having trouble because of the error you can see on the home page. Anyway, I have been reading your stroy and this chapter is great! Please review! 10/10
loved it.... however... please run the spell check things... uve got a million spelling mistakes there... n its marauder not maurder.... the plot seems interesting n funny
It was Brillant. I do have one comment more detail and then make it R! (I don't mean the making love more detail) BRILLANT!
Loved it! *10*. What more can I say? Well, I could say the miss-types annoyed me a bit, but hey...that's just me being picky!
that was good ... very good. got me laughing. ~10~