Reviews For Someone Beside Me
Reviewer: mgle_teacher
Date: 04/19/07 20:00
Chapter: Chapter 1

It has always bothered me to read fics in which James seems obsessed with Lily since first year. It's a bit...weird to be eleven, and already chasing one girl for the rest of your life.

BUT...you wrote yours in such a way that James doesn't seem obsessed, just loving and genuinely caring. LOL. In fact, you make Lily sound like the annoying one.

I loved it! You did a good job, and I love the ending line:
It was then that I, Lily Evans, knew that James Potter would never rest unless there was always someone beside me.

~mugglemathdork/Knight of the Turnip Table

Author's Response: Mwahahaha. I'm so glad you caught that, Ritta. I was trying to make it seem like James was just trying to be friendly and caring and Lily misinterpreted his actions and went all Ebil!Lily on him and turned against him for the rest of her life. Or at least until they started dating. Thanks so much for the review! ~Becca

Reviewer: mgle_teacher
Date: 04/19/07 19:59
Chapter: Chapter 1

It has always bothered me to read fics in which James seems obsessed with Lily since first year. It's a bit...weird to be eleven, and already chasing one girl for the rest of your life.

BUT...you wrote yours in such a way that James doesn't seem obsessed, just loving and genuinely caring. LOL. In fact, you make Lily sound like the annoying one. >.>

Reviewer: mgle_teacher
Date: 04/19/07 19:58
Chapter: Chapter 1

It has always bothered me to read fics in which James seems obsessed with Lily since first year. It's a bit...weird to be eleven, and already chasing one girl for the rest of your life.

BUT...you wrote yours in such a way that James doesn't seem obsessed, just loving and genuinely caring. LOL. In fact, you make Lily sound like the annoying one. >.>

Reviewer: GryffinDrChaser
Date: 03/23/07 8:35
Chapter: Chapter 1

Great start. I'm looking forward to the rest.

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it, but Someone Beside Me is a one-shot. Sorry, but thanks for taking the time to write a review!

Reviewer: kehribar
Date: 10/27/06 11:54
Chapter: Chapter 1

I think your story is really beautifully written.The characterization is excellent, and it's a very realistic account from Lily's point of view. One thing I'd suggest (or comment; you decide) would be about the pattern you follow: I'd expect the paragraphs written in italics to be flashbacks, but then, they should not be told from Lily's own point of view. If Lily's POV is to be resumed, then they should not be in italics, and the flashback should be tied to Lily's thoughts with a few words. For example:

"...whether I wanted him to be there or not.

Once, in out first year, I was sitting under a willow tree near the lake, studying..."

Of course this is just that's what I think.

Othervise;
Bravo!

Author's Response: Thank you, kehribar! I'm glad you liked my first [published] story. I was very hesitant about even putting it on MNFF, but all the lovely reviews I've gotten have convinced me that I made the right choice. I used the italics the way I did because they were flashbacks, as you pointed out. I told them from Lily's point of view because they were her memories- and they weren't using a Pensieve. It was Lily remembering Lily's experiences. So, point taken, and I appreciate the concrit, but I think I'll stick with what I've got. :) Thank you again for the lovely review and the concrit! ~Becca

Reviewer: Lilypudding
Date: 08/24/06 20:11
Chapter: Chapter 1

This is a very cute story. Short and sweet, you go right to the point to make this a very enjoyable read. I was definitely smiling at the ending. I enjoyed how you went in chronological order. You kept James and Lily in character very well, which is something hard to accomplish in a James/Lily. The only suggestion I would give to you is keep writing. An author as good as you should have more than one story out on MNFF! This really has been a pleasure to read. I just adore this story! :)

Author's Response: Thank you very much! I do plan on writing more. I've got several plot bunnies bouncing around in my head- I'm just waiting to see if they will grow up enough for me to put them down on paper. Thanks so much for your review!

Reviewer: sirius_rox
Date: 08/17/06 18:56
Chapter: Chapter 1

aww how cute!

Author's Response: Thanks! :)

Reviewer: sirius_rox
Date: 08/17/06 18:56
Chapter: Chapter 1

aww how cute!

Author's Response: Thanks! :)

Reviewer: AnnaLily89
Date: 08/15/06 16:14
Chapter: Chapter 1

Cute, Very cute. Can't wait till more.

Author's Response: Thank you! :)

Reviewer: thepatronus_n_thecharm
Date: 08/12/06 11:25
Chapter: Chapter 1

Cool!!!!!!!!!

Author's Response: Thanks! :)

Reviewer: some_kinda_superstar
Date: 08/01/06 2:07
Chapter: Chapter 1

great story! i especially liked that bit at the end, "so sorry, Lily darling..." it was funny! "Why must there always be someone beside me?" i loved it, you should write more!

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm really happy that I'm getting all this positive feedback. I'm really glad you liked it. As promised to Bethany below, I'll get right on another story!

Reviewer: Marauder by Midnight
Date: 07/31/06 15:48
Chapter: Chapter 1

A humble review from your HoH and your beta ;)

You didn't go too much into J/L, which can be good or bad ;)

I really thought James's actions in Transfiguration were really sweet. I felt like hitting Lily upside the head for not realizing his actions were out of his love for her.

It was very refreshing to see the couple go through first through sixth years in just one chapter. You were able to choose the snippets that mattered most during those years. Kept you from rambling about...well, nothing. Good job!

Haha I can almost hear Lily's exasperation in the last sentence. It was very creative of you to integrate the title in like that!

Very funny story! I'd like to see more J/L from you. And that's an order, missy ;)

-Bethany

Author's Response: Aw, thank you, Bethany. I'm really glad to know you like my story. The whole 'rambling about nothing' thing is one of my biggest pet peeves, so I do my best not to have my stories turn into the very thing I dislike. And as to more J/L stories- I'll get right on it, ma'am, I mean, your Royal Highness!

Reviewer: Khrys
Date: 07/31/06 13:53
Chapter: Chapter 1

I saw your pleading in the tower an I thought I would stop by and see what I could do to help you out.


Let me start by saying... This is great! Update SOON!!!! (Just kidding!!) *runs away from computer, ducking to avoid any manner of things being thrown*


I think that you did a fantabulous job intermixing her memories with the present day commentary. I really like how you followed a, oh, uh, pattern? (That's not the word I'm looking for though...) by showing all of Lily's 'secret' study places. James always seemed to know where she was, I am going to assume that was because of hte Map, right? I can see how that would drive someone insane.


I really liked how you showed a side of Lily that isn't often seen, and a caring side (no matter how mischevious) of James. It is very intriguing that he would send his friends to check up on her when he was indisposed.


On top of a wonderful writing style and strong emotional pull, this story fits the banner so nicely. Excellent job!

Author's Response: Thank you, Khrys! *throws tomatoes for your 'Update SOON'* No, just kidding. I'm too happy to be mad at you. Yes, James always knew where Lily was because of the Map. I'm glad you liked my interpretation of Lily and James. They are two characters that haven't really been developed, so it left me a lot of room to explore and turn them into who I wanted them to be. Thanks for the review!

Reviewer: Stag_Flower
Date: 07/31/06 13:25
Chapter: Chapter 1

Wow, it's really hard to find an author who really makes their story realistic and literate. Thank you for responding to other reviewers, it tells people your up-to-date all the time. Check out my sis's stories. She wrote two James/Lilys with all positive reviews - A House Elf. You two have great stories.

Author's Response: Aw, thanks! I'm really glad you liked my story. I will definately check out your sister's stories.

Reviewer: HarryPotter is my LIFE
Date: 07/31/06 10:34
Chapter: Chapter 1

I thought this was incredibly in character!

Firstly, I really liked Lily's first year. The thing that I liked was that the Marauders were always pulling on Lily's hair. A small detail, yes, I know, but it illustrates that they are still young. Hair pulling is a childish thing to do, but it's what younger children do.

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm so glad you thought it was good. One of my biggest problems is OOCness- I went over and over this fic to try to make sure they were all in character, so I'm really glad all my work paid off!

Reviewer: tonks_667
Date: 07/31/06 3:31
Chapter: Chapter 1

That was cool as!

Author's Response: Thanks! Um, I'm not quite sure what it is as cool as, but I really appreciate the review.

Reviewer: Iwishiwern Tamuggle
Date: 07/30/06 20:49
Chapter: Chapter 1

awe, thats adorable!

Author's Response: Thank you! I worked really hard on it, so it's nice to know you thought it was good.

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