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Reviews For Contemplating Love

Name: Fly to Dawn (Signed) · Date: 03/22/09 4:39 · For: One-Shot.
And 'b29;' was actually a heart, before the Internet did something crazy.

Name: Fly to Dawn (Signed) · Date: 03/22/09 4:38 · For: One-Shot.
This is as every bit as funny, sweet, warm and witty as I remembered it to be. b29;

Name: hpgirlbizarre (Signed) · Date: 05/31/07 16:39 · For: One-Shot.
this is cute i lked how you made these characters ur own and how they have created themselves. i also love how you just brought the ily part out of nowhere nd tht shows he isnt so much traditional nd neither is she. you also showed how though she was grieviung this man who she loves brought her out of her misery nd the protectiveness as a joke with millie was cute as well. i liked this story for its nice interpretation on love. great job!

Author's Response: Ily! This review's too cute - I love it! And by love, I mean j'adore, in the most mutual of terms, hee. I thought I'd lcear that up, considering what the story's about, haha. It's this concept that I came up with with a friend of mine. Sadly, we're not in that position anymore, but it's a nice momento.

Name: murgatroid (Signed) · Date: 01/22/07 23:46 · For: One-Shot.
ooh! i love how you have off-shoots of MI!!! =D
i like how you portrayed Halle's feelings about Giselle and Janus - very.. real.

Author's Response: Yaaaaaaaaaaaay. GUess what? I'm updating! Within the next week or so! SQUEE!

Name: SpottedOwl (Signed) · Date: 12/07/06 18:16 · For: One-Shot.
cute! funny and not mushy, which is a first for a romance fic. love the peanuts quote. 10/10!

Author's Response: Awww, thank you so much! Sorry ti took so long to respond!

Name: Celestial Melody (Signed) · Date: 08/28/06 23:33 · For: One-Shot.
First of all, I love the idea for your story! It’s slightly vague, but that just adds to its charm. Halle sounds like a direct descendent of Ginny; the eyes? :)

I truly enjoyed reading about Miles; his character was so poetic—a model gentleman if ever I’ve “heard” of one. What a pity it is that more of those gentlemen don’t exist today!

As I said, beautiful story, however I think that you and your beta might want to go over the story once more. There were only a few minor mistakes I noticed and they do not, in any way, detract from the overall, quaint appeal of your story … but, I thought I’d point them out anyway. :)


In the first sentence, ‘specs’ are a synonym for ‘spectacles.’ The proper word to use would be ‘specks.’ There really shouldn’t have been a comma after the word ‘specs,’ either because you’re saying ‘dust specks and gnats.’ The sentence is not: ‘A brilliant sun shone across the water and gnats,’ which is how it reads with the phrase ‘illuminating dust specks’ in there. Hee! Just saying…

I loved the sentence, ‘Halle liked fuzzy.’ It was immensely effective due to its short length. I adore those short, choppy sentences. Well done!

This sentence: ‘The ripples fanned out into the deepest corners of the lake, and Halle watched them tide against the bank somberly with her chocolate brown eyes.’

I couldn’t quite understand whether it was the ripples tiding against the bank somberly, or whether her eyes were somber. If it is her eyes, the word ‘somberly’ should be offset with commas.

Oh! Onomatopoeia! Made me very happy, :) ‘Plop, plop, plop.’

Miles has a very forthright manner and this makes him quite an original character. I like him. Good job!

I hate to tell you, love, because it’s such a fun term, but ‘sorriness’ isn’t an actual word. Of course, you could have been using this word for effect, but just informing you...

Miles’s logic about “love” is truly priceless. I loved it: ‘Miles nodded and then resumed a serious face as Halle grimaced. He toyed the idea with himself for a moment, then said, ‘How about we say… we’re not lovers—’ Halle shook her head ‘—We’re not in love—’ Halle shook her head uncertainly ‘—But we love one another, and care deeply about each other. How’s that? Does that make you feel better?’’ ________________________________________
Just one itty-bitty bit of con. crit. here: Halle smiled into her waffles. ‘He wanted to talk to me, is that right, I’m not telling, and yes, he did end up finding me. In the order you asked your questions.’

I didn’t understand why she said ‘is that right’ in the middle of her sentence. Maybe I’m not reading it carefully enough, but it didn’t make sense.

Oh, and Cheerios is a brand-name so it would be capitalized.
The next scene was really lovely. Miles is such an original character! (Just like I said earlier…) He is truly captivating; lucky Halle. And just one bit of crit.

‘He focused in on Halle’s eyes as they drew closer, and her felt her warm breath on his mouth. He smiled.’

I wasn’t quite sure why it said ‘and her felt her warm breath on his mouth.’

Should that be: ‘and HE felt her warm breath on his mouth.’ ?
________________________________________I truly loved your story and you have quite a gift for background and setting. I pictured the hot, steamy room and the lazy quiet of the lake perfectly. Please do not feel as though I was completely negative; I didn’t mean to offend you if I did so. Marvelous job overall, :).

And, as a parting compliment … this entire segment was enchanting. Absolutely enchanting.

‘As the exited into the sunshine, Miles stopped Halle on the sandstone steps. ‘You’re glowing,’ she said softly.

Halle put a hand self-consciously to her cheek. ‘I am?’ she said uncertainly.

‘Yes, you are,’ Miles said, regarding her seriously. ‘Lovers alone wear sunlight.’

~Celestial Melody~

Author's Response: oh, JULIA! *squees* words cna not explain how happy i am to review this review. I love you, fellow Turnip dear! You hit everything spot on, thank you so much! I'll go and edit them now! Look at all those typos! I'm so happy!

As for Miles, I may or may not be in love with my own character. He's magnificent, and I don't hesitate in saying I made him awesome for a reason =D. Halle is indeed a lucky girl. ♥

Name: wishiwereaweasley (Signed) · Date: 08/08/06 17:29 · For: One-Shot.
Steph. You are my hero. I completely loved this.

I suppose I should mention that I haven't read Malicious Intentions (yet) and so I know less than nothing about any of these characters and their histories together. And so if I happen to make little or no sense in parts of the following review, that is why.

Moving on!

The opening segment was very well done. Halle liked fuzzy. It makes perfect sense--when you're going through something particularly difficult, you just don't want to be bothered with details. The big picture is sad, and that's all you want to see. Oh, and the first line? Awesome. A brilliant sun shone across the water, illuminating dust specs, and gnats; The gnats had me cracking up. Here's this beautiful sun, highlighting shimmering dust in the air. And then gnats. Ha! I do think that you don't need the comma between 'specs' and 'and,' and (lol, three ands in a row) that the semicolon probably should be a comma.

I loved that you introduced Miles as a presence and kept him that way until he says something. It was a nice touch. Miles is adorable, by the way. I might have developed a slight crush. >.>

No one had actually expressed any sympathy towards her, only sorriness. I like this line a lot; it's very true that when someone close to you dies, very few people actually care. I wonder if perhaps 'sympathy' should be 'empathy.' Because most people do feel sort of bad that she's had a loved one die, but they don't feel actually sad about it. Does that make sense? And then 'sorriness' could be 'sympathy.' Something to think about, anyway.

It’s not Janus that’s annoying, it how, up until now, and no one’s cared about me. This is me being picky. 'it how' should be 'it's how' and there is an 'and' before 'no one's' that shoudn't be there.

More pickiness: 'Love is a snowmobile, racing across the tundra, until suddenly it flips, pinning you underneath.’ I love this metaphor a great deal (and I might start using it), but..would a wizard know about snowmobiles? Is he Muggleborn? Would Halle understand the reference? I tried to think of something more wizard-ish, and hippogrif is the only thing I thought of that might sort of work.

They were talking about love although it was an assignment I think it should be 'as though.'

‘I won’t take away your taste of peanut butter.’ Awwwwwwww! I can't wait to be in love with someone so I can say that. And how much do I love Miles (and also you) for using a Peanuts quote? Very, very, very much.

He could see every sparkle, every change in colour in her eyes, and every drop of sweat dotting every freckle across her nose. I love this in the same way that I love the first line. It starts out all idyllic and then you gently remind us that nothing is completely perfect, and our heroine is sweating. Nice!

I love the ee cummings quote, too. It's a perfect ending.

The only other little gripe I have is Millie. I have nothing against the dear girl, but I kind of think she takes away from the story. It's so obviously about Miles and Halle that putting her in there is a little distracting. Just my personal opinion, I mean no offense by it!

I won’t take away your taste of peanut butter.’ I know I already mentioned this. But. Awwwww. I completely love it. I love you, too. You did a wonderful job with this!

Author's Response: LYS! My god dearest, how I love you! Of all the crappy times, you show up and leave THIS! I LOVE YOU!

I might have a .. erm... small.... liking to Miles. Hence why Dawnie and I went to this modelling site to drool all over everyone to find the Miles :D

The snowmobile quote is by Matt Groening, but I guess I forgot to say that? I think it was because I added it in rihgt at the end, and didn't end up mentioning it. I had to giggle at the ïce weasles"part, and thought, HALLE!

I had ot includ millie somehow, *sigh* With Giselle gone, there was still one bloody cousin, my.. third favourite (But by far not the least favourite :):) cousin left, so I had to include her somehow. And she was involved in the original plotting :)

I heart peanuts too. And Bananas in Pyjamas. I so wish I had a BiP quote ot put in, lol.

Excuse the typos, this laptop's rather annoying! The keyboard's making these plupply, squash, clikc, tappity sounds =D. Thank you os muhc for your review Lys, do much detail! I'll go add in the changes ASA I', on a stable computer :):):) *squashes*♥♥♥

Name: saveginny417 (Signed) · Date: 08/07/06 19:13 · For: One-Shot.
well. that made me feel better. kind of. until the ice weasles come. (that's in the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, by the way. I don't think you mentioned that...)
Well, I'm glad I finally got to read that! I'd been waiting for ages... go Steph! I even think I'm sane enough to go back to MI now. or maybe not.

wait a minute. Miles SPINNET?????

Author's Response: haha, yeah the ice weasles one is form the Sisterhood series, as are the others. I otlaly heart that series. I can't believe I forgot to say! *whacks head* I'll add it in whenI'm on my computer. SPINNET =D. Stephanie SPINNET is his sister! *cough* Yah, I'm original. I have a banner fo rthis, Dawn made it, and he's sooo hott. And the models'24. Oh well =)

Author's Response: haha, yeah the ice weasles one is form the Sisterhood series, as are the others. I otlaly heart that series. I can't believe I forgot to say! *whacks head* I'll add it in whenI'm on my computer. SPINNET =D. Stephanie SPINNET is his sister! *cough* Yah, I'm original. I have a banner fo rthis, Dawn made it, and he's sooo hott. And the models'24. Oh well =)

Name: _ ilovegredandforge _ (Signed) · Date: 08/07/06 13:25 · For: One-Shot.
I've finally read it! And it was brilliant! I think I'm in love with Miles! Haha. I still can't believe that Giselle is dead though. But Miles was great! And Halle was too, of course. I also love the Charlie Brown quote. It made me laugh. Awesome quotes, awesome story, awesome characters... you are an awesome writer! (awesome is my new favorite word). All that temptation and waiting was really worth it!

Author's Response: You, my dear, are an AWESOME reviewer! I totlaly heart your reviews, and I know that with everyone, you've loved the chapter, and it makes me feel so incredibly happy! Thank you! ♥

Name: Fly to Dawn (Signed) · Date: 07/31/06 8:31 · For: One-Shot.
Another great story from Steph the Lurid girl!
I loved how Miles and Halle interacted throughout this story - not too fast-moving, not too slow. Everything flowed well, and although I expected it to be the average school romance (Yes, okay, maybe that was a lie) , it was brilliant! Every character is unique, and there are events and occurances which make the fic enjoyable.
So, it's Giselle...as a MI fan, (Even though I don't review much *hides*) it was really sad to see that Giselle was dead.
Halle liked fuzzy. I say, I love this sentence! It tells us a bit more how unique a character Halle is, and at the same time you manage to give a sad, helpless feeling to the story. Halle's problems with Janus is also well-written. It's a natural feeling for an elder child to go through, and it's also natural for Halle to feel that others should spend more time mourning Giselle's death, since they were very good friends.
Miles' confession is so sudden and so simple! I love the way Miles makes it sound so easy, and I also love the way you portrayed Halle's hesitation. Obviously love is something so difficult to understand, especially for teenagers who are somewhat mentally insecure. Their dialogue is brilliant, and I can really see Halle and Miles being able to relax in each other's presence. It fits in beautifully with the title.
It’s steamy with love.
Miles is just so bloody brilliant! He plans everything perfectly. Halle's reaction is wonderfully written too - it's clear that they are a perfect match, and I love the way Halle completes Miles's 'Taste of peanut butter' by telling him that she loves him too. (Love the quote, by the way)
The last line is a beautiful ending to the story - v.romantic! It's a great story and I hope there's more Miles/Halle romance in MI, hehe!

Author's Response: Teehee! *squishes* You know just how to put a smile on my face! I really didn't want the avergae school romance. Fluff is overrated, sometimes. (*whistles*) I wanted something different from the usual "I love you - I love you too" And I have a very similar relationship with one of my friends, excluding the classroom scene. Love each other, not IN love, and not lovers. It's fantastic, and I thought it was a great story Idea. He refuses to read it, though :) Miles is a real joker. I love writing him, because I can write just about anything! I really don't know how I see him, perhaps a childhood 21st century Shakespeare? Either way, I really love him!

Yes, Giselle's death has beenplanned since... chapter four. It's quite sad , But I'm such a teeny saddist -nare you really surprised, lol? Thanks for you FANTASTIC reveiw, my love! GO TURNIPS! ♥

Name: Emily_the_Poet (Signed) · Date: 07/28/06 0:20 · For: One-Shot.
That was cute, if a bit unexplanatory. I find myself asking, what happened to Giselle? How closely is Halle related to the weasley clan? etc. I think you need a sequel... Yes a sequel would be perfect..

I liked your quotes, they set the write mood. (hehe word play) Great Job

Author's Response: Halle is the daughter of Hermione and Ron, and Miles is the daughter of Alicia Spinnet, because I made a mistake :) To know what happened to Giselle (daughter of Ginny and Harry) you would need to read Malicious Intentions, whihc this one-shot is centered around. I might go back and fix it after the challenge is judged, just to be fair.

'Write Mood' - teehee! Yay for Fellow Ravenclaw's!

Name: _ ilovegredandforge _ (Signed) · Date: 07/26/06 20:47 · For: One-Shot.
Oh man, I'm so tempted to read this!!!! But as I haven't read Chapter 14 yet, I'll just have to wait. But I'll be sure to drop by after I've read this! Ah, the temptation! Haha.

Author's Response: Soon, Soon SOON! *dances*

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