This fic is definitely one of those most interesting things I've read.
I love the way the fic starts out. You can tell right away that you're talking about Snape. He's crying, but he doesn't know why. It's interesting that he suffered a bit of amnesia first - I'm guessing that it's from the rubble that fell on his head when the house exploded.
Instinctively, he made his way to the sound, still covered by the Invisibility Cloak. Still in shock, he was unable to figure out why he was suddenly sifting through rubble. Damn, he had to get to that child. But why? He didn’t have any children . . . did he? No . . . he had lots of children. He had nearly two hundred and fifty of them.
No, no, no, that couldn’t be right. Nobody had two hundred and fifty of their own children. Why then, did those faces swim before him . . . faces of children he knew were, somehow, his responsibility?
I love this part. It really showed how you managed to combine Snape-with-memory-loss to regular Snape. It would be like Snape to say that he had two hundred and fifty children to take care of when talking about his students. But it's interesting that Snape doesn't understand this sarcasm. The memory-loss even made him forget a little bit of who he was.
I love how Snape discovers about what happened little by little. It's realistic, and it makes much more sense then if it all came back to him at once. Everything he does seems to make him remember a little of what he is and what happened. I also love how Snape manages to push all his despair to the back of his mind so that way he can deal with baby Harry. It's in Snape's character to push his emotions out of the way so that he can deal with the other things in his life, and this time it's no different.
Snape's interaction with baby Harry was great. I thought it was interesting that Snape is better with a little baby then he is with his students. He does a good job of staying calm, and trying to help Harry get to safety. I love how Snape talks to Harry like he is a mature adult like him. It's a lot like the way he acts with his students. I love Snape's reaction when Harry seems to understand what Snape is saying. Snape doesn't think that Harry will understand what he's saying; his students don't most of the time. It must have been weird to have a baby understand you more than your students.
Well no wonder; the house had collapsed around him, some scary looking ugly stranger he’d never seen had come and grabbed him, and wouldn’t tell him where his caretakers were. Snape KNEW what was going on and felt like crying; he could only imagine how traumatized the child was.
I loved this line. It combined Snape's sarcasm with his grief and despair. Snape's sarcasm comes from his hate and pain, so it makes sense that he would sarcastic in a time like that. Sarcasm is a way of dealing with uncomfortable things for Snape, I think.
Overall, I thought that you did a really good job here. The idea that Snape found Harry in Godric's Hollow is original; I've never heard of it before. Great job here!
Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much. The Heads of House are effectively in loco parentis 24/7 for 10 months out of 7 of the most formative years of a person's life. I can absolutely see him thinking of the Slytherins as "his". I think we have a great deal of support for Snape being able to do "crisis mode" remarkably well. And while he's absolutely rotten to Gryffindors (and honestly, probably those of other houses), the Slytherins, at least in Harry's year, seem awfully devoted to him. Not all of them are good enough actors for that ALL to be show! Snape's problem with Harry in this scene was that Harry saw the Mark and was pointing to it and saying "Peter" . . . but since Snape didn't know Pettigrew was a Death Eater, he didn't cotton on. It's not so much that Harry didn't understand Snape, or that Snape didn't think Harry would understand Snape, it's that Snape didn't understand HARRY. Thank you for the lovely review, although I can't believe you've known me for THIS long and hadn't heard about my Snape at Godric's Hollow theory!!! Have you been living under a rock? ;)
Simply marvelous. You write so well. I'm glad to be able to see Snape's perspective of the night.
I never thought Snape would be good with children...but I know you write differently than most about Snape. I like that side of him. It was a little confusing at first, but around the middle I was like 'Oh! That's why!' *rolls eyes*
It's a really nice one-shot. You're a powerful writer; Snape's train of thought is perfect disorientation, as it should be after an explosion, and his characterization after he remembers is also just marvelous to read. I don't have much to point out; I would have added more commas, being the freak I am. I saw two nit-picky things: after 'Avada Kedavra' you have an extra ending brakcet, and when Harry says 'Sea-wuz', there's no 'd' on 'questioned'. Otherwise, I see nothing wrong to point out.
Geat job, CM!
good story! i liked how he was all confused at the beginning, the way you wrote it was very realistic. 10/10
Author's Response: Wow, thanks! That's very high praise! :)
Hmmm...I liked it. What exactly happened to Snape's memory, though? I thought it was just traumatic shock or something, but I was wondering if I was right.
I loved Harry. It was so cute how he asked Snape for everyone he was used to. And “Sea-wuz?” was great! I did notice a few grammatical errors and a couple of missing words, but overall, very well done.
Oh yeah, what happened with Hagrid? He picked Harry up at Godrics Hollow, but you had Severus Apparate Harry to Hogwarts.
Anyway, I enjoyed reading this. So good job!
Author's Response: You are correct, he was momentarily "shell-shocked". :) Yay! Someone recognised it!
Oi. Errors? What/where? I try ot get rid of those... O_o
As I've said to other reviewers, there's the "missing 24 hours" to contend with for Harry, and I thinK Snape was at Godric's Hollow (and NOT with the Dark Lord) the night the Potters were killed, so I postulate that Snape is the one that got Harry "out of the elements", so to speak. I have an essay devoted to this on the forums if you'd like to read it - I use the same name on the forums as I do for my author name, so if you PM me, I can point you to it. :)
First, I love the description in your story. It's so descriptive (yeah, duh) but it is also captivating and truly took me into the story and Snape's state of mind.
It's interesting that you chose to give him amnesia but it worked quite well if I do say so myself. I like how he's confused, trying to figure everything out, and yet old habits die hard: case point-the wand reflexes, his disdain for Harry because he reminded his of James.
And I think it is really original that Snape was the one that found Harry, and took him to Dumbledore on that night.
Oh...I must say as a teacher I identify with the line you wrote about the children:
No . . . he had lots of children. He had nearly two hundred and fifty of them.
It made me laugh.
Author's Response: Aw, it's great to hear from a teacher that I got the teacher part right. :) Thanks!
If you use the forum at all, I have an *entire essay* devoted to Snape's allegiances, backed up with lines from the books and interviews from Jo, and part of that essay addresses Harry being taken from Godric's Hollow by Snape. If you're on the forums, PM me (same forum name as my author name), and I can point you to it. :)
This a rather interesting turn of events. Not to mention confusing. Is Snape a good guy? Did he lose his memory? What happened to Sirius and Hagrid? My head is spining! It was well written, and if I didn't already know the plot line, it would be exceedingly believable and it'd put snape in a good light to boot.
Author's Response: Yes, Snape is a good guy. If you have a forum account, my forum name is the same as my author name - contact me for the "why Snape is a good guy" missive. Snape was temporarily "shell-shocked". Snape believed Sirius to be the Secret Keeper, hence his tone and attitude, and thought that Sirius was the one that betrayed the Potters. However, Sirius didn't actually do this (and couldn't have even if he'd wanted to, given that he wasn't the Secret Keeper), so Snape's assumption here was wrong, and Sirius wasn't involved at all. He goes looking for the Potters/Peter later.
As for Hagrid - well, there's a minor issue of a "missing 24 hours" for Harry. We know the attack on the Potters took place at about 11:59 PM on 31st October. Vernon Dursely went to work the next day (which was 1st November) and heard rumours and saw owls and there was a news report. THAT NIGHT, Hagrid picked up Harry from Godric's Hollow (where he saw Sirius, and Sirius then went off in mad pursuit of Peter) and then Hagrid took Harry IMMEDIATELY to Dumbledore & McGonagall, who were waiting near the Dursley's house. Harry was left on their doorstep sometime between dusk the night of 1st November and dawn the morning of 2nd November, and Petunia found Harry on the morning of the 2nd.
There is *simply no way* that a 15 month old child would survive being exposed to the elements in England in November for 24 hours without adult supervision. I strongly believe that SOMEONE took Harry from Godric's Hollow and that SOMEONE (not necessarily the same someone), brought him back so that Hagrid could "find" him.
I do have an entire essay devoted to why I think Snape was at Godric's Hollow, *and not with the Dark Lord*, if you'd like to read it. It will probably explain away a lot of your confusion.