Reviews For Wormtail's Son
Reviewer: deanine
Date: 07/23/06 22:47
Chapter: Warson

You open with Quidditch, and you've written it well. That game can be so challenging to write fluidly. It's tempting to try to tell everything but then that gets boring. I liked your balance, and ouch, poor Harry's nose. He's always getting creamed at that game.

I honestly clicked on this story because of the title. Your opening doesn't go anywhere with the tease and that's killing me. I will simply have to read on.

Happy writing!

Reviewer: hagridrules
Date: 07/21/06 4:38
Chapter: Warson's Route

its very good! Please add the next chapter soon!

Reviewer: lifegasm
Date: 07/16/06 19:37
Chapter: Warson

Apparently, you need some reviews. *cracks knuckles* Just kidding. Your writing is mature and very descriptive. I really like it. I also like the affects you use on Warson's dialogue to pop him out into a more lifelike personality. Two problems though. Harry's dialogue doesn't seem to be REAL. If you know what I mean. Try going over it and imagining if it is something that a teenager would actually say. And try to get into his head more during his conversations. (Like the one in this chap.) One more thing, the story seems good, but a longer chapter might create more suspense and not make the story seem like it's going no where.

Author's Response: Hey, thanks for the review, I'll work on that chapter (I'm only fourteen years old, so there's a lot I can learn.) If it's not too much to ask, maybe you could read chapter three and review that too, b/c so far you're the only review I've got and I could use some more constructive critisizm. Thanks!

You must login (register) to review.
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.

We have stories and authors in this archive.


Choose Theme:
Under the Southern Cross by FloreatCastellum 1st-2nd Years
Rolf Scamander has ventured to a remote archipelago to study a rare and exotic...
MOMENTS OF BLISS by moonymaniac 6th-7th Years
Remus Lupin is a man with a tragic past, filled with pain, suffering and sorrow...
The Walpurgis School for Superior Children by Kerichi 3rd-5th Years
Draco Malfoy wanted to stay home, but he was sent to school instead. Lucius...
Today Will Be Better, I Swear! by hestiajones 1st-2nd Years
'I'm going to miss you, Mr Ollivander,' said Luna, approaching the old man.'And...
Honestly by Gmariam 3rd-5th Years
Seven months after leaving Hogwarts, James Potter is fighting for the Order...