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Reviews For Wormtail's Son

Name: deanine (Signed) · Date: 07/23/06 22:47 · For: Warson
You open with Quidditch, and you've written it well. That game can be so challenging to write fluidly. It's tempting to try to tell everything but then that gets boring. I liked your balance, and ouch, poor Harry's nose. He's always getting creamed at that game.

I honestly clicked on this story because of the title. Your opening doesn't go anywhere with the tease and that's killing me. I will simply have to read on.

Happy writing!


Name: hagridrules (Signed) · Date: 07/21/06 4:38 · For: Warson's Route
its very good! Please add the next chapter soon!


Name: lifegasm (Signed) · Date: 07/16/06 19:37 · For: Warson
Apparently, you need some reviews. *cracks knuckles* Just kidding. Your writing is mature and very descriptive. I really like it. I also like the affects you use on Warson's dialogue to pop him out into a more lifelike personality. Two problems though. Harry's dialogue doesn't seem to be REAL. If you know what I mean. Try going over it and imagining if it is something that a teenager would actually say. And try to get into his head more during his conversations. (Like the one in this chap.) One more thing, the story seems good, but a longer chapter might create more suspense and not make the story seem like it's going no where.

Author's Response: Hey, thanks for the review, I'll work on that chapter (I'm only fourteen years old, so there's a lot I can learn.) If it's not too much to ask, maybe you could read chapter three and review that too, b/c so far you're the only review I've got and I could use some more constructive critisizm. Thanks!


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