Reviews For Wormtail's Son
Reviewer: deanine
Date: 07/23/06 22:47
Chapter: Warson

You open with Quidditch, and you've written it well. That game can be so challenging to write fluidly. It's tempting to try to tell everything but then that gets boring. I liked your balance, and ouch, poor Harry's nose. He's always getting creamed at that game.

I honestly clicked on this story because of the title. Your opening doesn't go anywhere with the tease and that's killing me. I will simply have to read on.

Happy writing!

Reviewer: hagridrules
Date: 07/21/06 4:38
Chapter: Warson's Route

its very good! Please add the next chapter soon!

Reviewer: lifegasm
Date: 07/16/06 19:37
Chapter: Warson

Apparently, you need some reviews. *cracks knuckles* Just kidding. Your writing is mature and very descriptive. I really like it. I also like the affects you use on Warson's dialogue to pop him out into a more lifelike personality. Two problems though. Harry's dialogue doesn't seem to be REAL. If you know what I mean. Try going over it and imagining if it is something that a teenager would actually say. And try to get into his head more during his conversations. (Like the one in this chap.) One more thing, the story seems good, but a longer chapter might create more suspense and not make the story seem like it's going no where.

Author's Response: Hey, thanks for the review, I'll work on that chapter (I'm only fourteen years old, so there's a lot I can learn.) If it's not too much to ask, maybe you could read chapter three and review that too, b/c so far you're the only review I've got and I could use some more constructive critisizm. Thanks!

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
Against the Dying of the Light by starscribe 3rd-5th Years
A first war story. As the Order is plunged into a war for which they are unprepared...
Stolen Magic by coolh5000 1st-2nd Years
Samuel Radley is a wizard born without magic. Coming from a family with generations...
Somebody Like You by Kerichi 6th-7th Years
After tea leaves predict romance for Snape, he makes a mocking wish on a...
FEATURED
Wild Card by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor 6th-7th Years
It was going to happen eventually: Oliver Wood had to retire. But when the decision...
Half-life by welshdevondragon 3rd-5th Years
Neville has the rest of his life ahead of him, but all he can do is look back...
Skinny Love by xxbabewithbrainsxx 6th-7th Years
“I’ve always been chubby. Admit it.” “You’ve never been skinny...
Tigerlily by Maple_and_PheonixFeather 3rd-5th Years
You promised yourself you'd never hurt her, but there are times when you wonder...
Astriferous by Padfoot11333 6th-7th Years
Merope Gaunt has never been celestial.Nominated for a 2014 QSQ - Best Dark/Angst. Nominated...
CATEGORIES