Reviews For Wormtail's Son
Reviewer: deanine
Date: 07/23/06 22:47
Chapter: Warson

You open with Quidditch, and you've written it well. That game can be so challenging to write fluidly. It's tempting to try to tell everything but then that gets boring. I liked your balance, and ouch, poor Harry's nose. He's always getting creamed at that game.

I honestly clicked on this story because of the title. Your opening doesn't go anywhere with the tease and that's killing me. I will simply have to read on.

Happy writing!

Reviewer: hagridrules
Date: 07/21/06 4:38
Chapter: Warson's Route

its very good! Please add the next chapter soon!

Reviewer: lifegasm
Date: 07/16/06 19:37
Chapter: Warson

Apparently, you need some reviews. *cracks knuckles* Just kidding. Your writing is mature and very descriptive. I really like it. I also like the affects you use on Warson's dialogue to pop him out into a more lifelike personality. Two problems though. Harry's dialogue doesn't seem to be REAL. If you know what I mean. Try going over it and imagining if it is something that a teenager would actually say. And try to get into his head more during his conversations. (Like the one in this chap.) One more thing, the story seems good, but a longer chapter might create more suspense and not make the story seem like it's going no where.

Author's Response: Hey, thanks for the review, I'll work on that chapter (I'm only fourteen years old, so there's a lot I can learn.) If it's not too much to ask, maybe you could read chapter three and review that too, b/c so far you're the only review I've got and I could use some more constructive critisizm. Thanks!

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
Tom Riddle and the Cave of Living Waters by alittletiefling 6th-7th Years
What would happen if Tom Marvolo Riddle had been adopted by well-meaning squibs?...
Molly Weasley's Apple Dumplings by Oregonian 1st-2nd Years
Molly has studied history and knows the old stories, but she also knows what...
Early, Early Spring: Professor Sinistra Reflects by Oregonian 1st-2nd Years
I didn't know much about Professor Sinistra, the Astronomy Professor, until...
FEATURED
It Takes Two to Tango by lucca4 3rd-5th Years
They cannot keep doing this; it is only a matter of whose resolve will break...
In The Heat Of The Morning by welshdevondragon 3rd-5th Years
Summary: In the heat of the morning, Katie and Leanne lie in the grounds...
Can't Fight the Moonlight by Acacia Carter 6th-7th Years
A life-changing disaster at work drives Neville Longbottom to seek aid from...
The History Teacher by iLuna17 6th-7th Years
Maybe he didn’t just love history, maybe he loved being a history teacher.
white on white by Padfoot11333 6th-7th Years
Three vignettes about scars, love, and sex.
CATEGORIES