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Reviews For My Deliverance

Name: flapjack88 (Signed) · Date: 11/19/06 14:16 · For: Chapter Five: Progeny
I've just finished reading this fic in one sitting so I thought i'd better review now while all of these thoughts are wizzing about in my head.

I'm going to comment about the story as a whole and then the latest chapter (mainly because i'm too lazy to go back and review each chapter so I hope this will cover it!)

The Story: Wow hunny. Really, just wow. You really can write, can't you. I've read a handful of reviews from this chapter and I agree with what other people are commenting, that it really does feel like i'm reading a published world-wide selling book. The way you present Lily's jumbled thoughts and show how scared and confused she is throughout the war so far and also her developing relationship with James.. I feel as though they're my own thoughts. They're so clear yet utterly bewildering. I feel as though we, the readers, are going through this journey with her and experiencing her trials and ever so few jubilations. That may sound cheesy or whatever but I can't really think of any other way to describe your writing, so meh, you'll just have to make do. ;)

Also, the interludes. Gah, do you know what it reminds me of. Lord of the rings. I know, you're probably thinking "what's she been smoking? Lord of the Rings? It may be fantasy but there ain't no hobbits in my bloody well story."
But well, it reminds me of it in the sense that when you read the book, although the tale is predominantly about Frodo and Sam getting the Ring to Mordor, you also read about the other's journey's and how the war affected them and how they played a part etc. So, in this sense, although it is predominantly about Lily and her developing relationship with James and also how she deals with the war, you also get to see Frank's tale, and i've never read an Alice/Frank story before, and to be honest don't even know if they exist, but I like it. It helps the story develop and.. yeah, I just like it is all.
Your characterization throughout has been amazing. I'm pretty much a stickler for canon, which is why I tend to read mostly marauder era fics because they have so much freedom, yet it does grate a little on my nerves when people bring the marauders out of character. But you have got them down to a T. Well, in my view of them anyway. Sirius' anger at Regulus and his argument against wearwolf prejudice showing how much he cared for his friend. Definately Sirius like, but do you know what made it for me? Just how he wouldn't let Lily talk or kept interupting her. I definately picture him that way. Rash and has to argue his point, especially when it comes down to protecting his friends, or in this case indirect prejudice towards one of his friends.
Peter. Oh thank you thank you thank you. You include him! And he's not an insufferable wimp. And he does join in conversations and can hold his own when he wants. But you have the fear and respect he has of his own friends perfect. Oh, yes deifnately. I have to say that is probably one of the reasons I love this fic so much, because of your characterizations. And of course Lily's thoughts, and well, your amazing plot ideas and.. well, I just love all of it.

This chapter: I have to say it has been one of my favourites. Although I did like the last one rather a lot too. The pensieve scene. Awww. I swear tears came to my eyes. James, oh poor, poor James. I know it's a war and people have to die and there has to be suffering, but Oh I do feel ever so bad for him. And how he just carries on and we possibly wouldn't have known for ages if Dumbedore hadn't shown Lily. Well, typical English man is all I have to say to that. ;)
Oh, and just to echo other readers yet again, she knows WHAT?! I feel I have a certain niggling feeling but can't possibly be sure unless you update soon. *cough cough*

Sorry this went on a little long. I'll stop my ramblings now before I bore you. Please do update soon. Pretty please, with love and hope and strawberries on top.

Author's Response: Bored? Never! Ah, Peter Peter Peter.bMy take on him: he managed to fool the whole Order, so he can't be stupid; he was trusted enough to be the Secret-Keeper, to not be obviously suspected as the traitor, so he appeared to be a great firend. Comples character, and while I don't particularly LIKE him, well, he deserves his credit (and his "screen" time). *grins* Haha, Sirius, yes. So fun to write, but I don't think I'm witty enough for him. Thankyou for the lengthy review, and please, as you continue to read, let me know whtaever I can do to make my writing better! <3

Author's Response: Gah, so sorry for all those typoes. I was excited and typing too quickly. :p

Name: Harry_Ginny_fan (Signed) · Date: 11/13/06 10:48 · For: Chapter Five: Progeny
what did she know, what did she know????????????? COME ON!!!!! pretty pretty pretty please tell me
&& I know that your next chapter is going to pe an interlude.... but PLEASE post the next lily/james chapter SOON!!!

Name: Harry_Ginny_fan (Signed) · Date: 11/13/06 10:47 · For: Chapter Five: Progeny
what did she know, what did she know????????????? COME ON!!!!! pretty pretty pretty please tell me
&& I know that your next chapter is going to pe an interlude.... but PLEASE post the next lily/james chapter SOON!!!

Name: Harry_Ginny_fan (Signed) · Date: 11/13/06 10:39 · For: Chapter Five: Progeny
what did she know, what did she know????????????? COME ON!!!!! pretty pretty pretty please tell me
&& I know that your next chapter is going to pe an interlude.... but PLEASE post the next lily/james chapter SOON!!!

Author's Response: The Interlude is almost done--I mayb have to WAIT on the queue to open, isn't that amazing? And I've already started Chapter Six, so hopefully it won't be long until you find out! <3

Name: soulchica (Signed) · Date: 11/09/06 8:43 · For: Chapter Five: Progeny
Aww! Lily's falling for him!
And...smart too. She just figured out that Remus was a werewolf... or at least i think. This is an awesome story. I love it. Compared to your other ones, this is definately more mature. Waiting for the next chap.!

Author's Response: Well, Alice is the one that actually figured it out. Sharp buggar, isn't she? *grins* But yes! It's so fun to write the Lily/James interaction (even though there wasn't much in this chapter)! Heh, yeah. My other "long" story on this site was written about two years ago, and I cringe to look at it....

Name: hallveig (Signed) · Date: 11/03/06 9:08 · For: Chapter Five: Progeny
Bravo, you know how to write! I love this, please update soon:) Once again: wonderful story!

Author's Response: Yes! I can write! *grins* I'm thrilled that you love the story, and I will try to continue to live up to your expectations!

Name: SiLvEr_DrAgOn (Signed) · Date: 10/30/06 3:08 · For: Chapter Five: Progeny
Awww man!!!!! Knew what??????? NEXT CHAPTER, NEXT CHAPTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PS: lol ... its an awsome story :P

Author's Response: Thanks! I'll update as soon as possible!

Name: I_lOvE_pAdFoOt91 (Anonymous) · Date: 10/29/06 17:23 · For: Chapter Five: Progeny
wow. this story is absolutely amazing... i like how it isn't the traditional lily hates james, james loves lily scenario. you have developed lily perfectly, i feel like im reading an actual book, not fanfiction!
i just read these chapters and i am already dying for an update!! i was also wondering how many chapters you are thinking this story will be.... anyway, thanks for creating an awesome story!

Author's Response: Hm, I'm not sure how many it'll be. Not including Interludes, probably 12-15... I don't rightly know. <3

Name: GinnyMWPotter (Signed) · Date: 10/21/06 19:40 · For: Chapter Five: Progeny

Author's Response: No! --just playing. :p

Name: Hogwarts_chick (Signed) · Date: 10/19/06 17:41 · For: Chapter Five: Progeny
Wow....I can't exactly describe how much (well, as of now) I am relieved to not read the same old cliche plot of Lily and James. Your tone is so descriptive, I honestly feel as though I am reading a published book. I like how I am able to imagine the exact scenes that you paint--don't stop.

And now for my 'critique' (oh no!). I was wondering why you didn't create your own characters to be Lily's friends. And why did you decide to make these teenagers so...as you said, 'forlorn'? I understand that yes, they are under stress but why don't they do something fun? Even if underneath they are still hurting from the war, they can do something of amusement.

Author's Response: Hmm, I decided to try to stick with canon as much as possible while writing this story. I guess that's just my style. And as for lack of fun.. I noticed that, myself. I try to get light-hearted moments into every chapter, but it's hard to do that without disrupting the pace of the chapter. I think you'll find that moods will improve--or at least be more balanced--after a certain set of events have taken place! <3

Name: Hogwarts_chick (Signed) · Date: 10/18/06 23:56 · For: Chapter Two: A Missing Piece
I honestly enjoy how smooth and descriptive your (twinsuns) tone is. So far, this read seems different from the hundreds of other Lily/James stories and I'm liking it.

Author's Response: *grins* Smooth... I like it. Thanks for your review!

Name: Dora_ (Signed) · Date: 10/18/06 13:44 · For: Chapter Five: Progeny
BRILLIANT! Absolutely amazing! It feels like J.K Rowling has written this. Just hurry up with the update, you left us all with a cliffhanger!

Author's Response: Wow, that is... quite a compliment. XD I know, a cliffhanger--I'll update as soon as possible!

Name: whatdoyouwant (Signed) · Date: 10/16/06 21:58 · For: Chapter Five: Progeny
to quote the past 50 reviewers...
"Knew What?!?!?!?!"

Author's Response: lmao.

Name: The Queen Marauder (Signed) · Date: 10/16/06 17:47 · For: Chapter Five: Progeny
ACK!!!!!! What does she know??? Not fair! Hurry up *ahem* I mean, er...keep up the good work!

Author's Response: Hehe, okay, okay!

Name: Quiditch fan (Signed) · Date: 10/16/06 16:39 · For: Chapter One: Lost in Thought
"And you bloody well better make sure not to go and get yourself killed, either.” oh man! i love this quote too. i love james in this story. he seems actually effected by what is going on. same with lily. except she is a bit more immature about the whole subject, while james may be a bit too rash. they just need to balance eachother out.

Author's Response: Exactly! Man, I hate reading those stories where everyone is happy-happy-joy-joy--I'm sitting there like "They're in a WAR, hellllo?" *grins*

Author's Response: Ah, yes, and an "Exactly!" to the immature/rash thing, as well...

Name: Quiditch fan (Signed) · Date: 10/16/06 16:13 · For: Prologue
why hello, i told you i was going to re-read your story today...so i am . fav quote from this chapter. "I am poised, ready... because by my reckoning, this time it’s all or nothing." wow, very deep and amazing quote. i could sit here and analyze every part of this chapter, but that would take too long, so i will try to keep these short.

Author's Response: I'm particularly fond of that line, myself. : )

Name: lovingu4ever (Signed) · Date: 10/16/06 15:04 · For: Chapter Five: Progeny
knew what!? evil cliffie! great chapter it certaianly left me with a lot of questions so update soon james just keeps getting more and more mysterious, i love it and hate, because i want to know ! so update soon! PLEASE!!

Author's Response: You shall know... in time. :p

Name: Quiditch fan (Signed) · Date: 10/15/06 21:07 · For: Chapter Five: Progeny
oh man...wow. i have many things to say about this chapter...so here i go.

1. i really enjoyed the conversation between lily and dumbledore and the pensieve scene. very interesting and well done. "I do not place my faith in fools.” i love this quote! did you ocme up with it by yourself? very good. are you jk rawling? this was a very Jo like quote. anyway.

2. “The stars that shine the brightest burn out before all others.” he is refering to james and lily. after all, they are the brightest witch/wizards of their age. they die first. so sad, but true. same with emmiline and alice. they are brilliant, but they go before the rest. basically, cool quote.

3. the only thing about this chapter was, was that it was very confusing. maybe i was reading too fast, but i waas getting very confused her and there. i must have read it too fast though, i think...so no worries really. i will just have to re-read it.

4. what does she know??? does she know that it is james, sirius, and peter? does she know what is going on with voldemort? what is going on. this is yet another example of my reading too fast i think. if i had read it slower, i might understand more of what is going on.

4. I do love this story, so you had better update soon.

5. i think i will re-read the entire story tomorrow. feel loved oh wise writer that i adore so much.

6. sorry that is is such an oober long review...but i am known for my super long reviews...ask grape_2010. she will tell you


Author's Response: Gah, I'm so glad you like the Dumbledore scene, because I was worried that I wasn't pulling it off! As for the quote, unless I heard it a long time ago and it lodged itself in my self conscious, I came up with it by myself. :p Haha, yes, "Chiron's predictions"... I'm glad to see you were reading between the lines. There was some other stuff I was going to add to teh Forest scene, and I'm glad I didn't, since you mentioned that the chapter is a tad confusing. I don't like saying everything point blank, and I hope it all got sorted out the next time you read the story! Hehe, I just love this review. There is so much substance! <3

Name: lunalovy (Signed) · Date: 10/14/06 19:11 · For: Chapter Five: Progeny
I Totaly love this fic!!!!!! It's great!! Hi I'm Ginny Weasley nice to find anotheirfic to put on my favs!!! ;)

Author's Response: I'm happy that it has made the cut! *grins*

Name: Banana Shroogle (Signed) · Date: 10/14/06 1:25 · For: Chapter Four: Face Off
Aww, dude. What's up with Lily and the point taking?

Author's Response: Eh, she's just doing her job. :p

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