MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!
Reviews For Late Night Chat

Name: Skewper (Signed) · Date: 12/24/06 1:20 · For: Chapter 2: Later
sweet.. loved it

Name: Kantaka (Signed) · Date: 12/17/06 21:04 · For: Chapter 2: Later
It's a wonderfull fic!
A little bit ennerving for the same-sex pairing, and a little bit annoying because it mainly male same sex pairing (I'm a girl, thus I feel a sort of felt a side, hehehe...)
Even so I really enjoyed it!
I can't help but wonder how would Hermione react to it. Specially since I picture her reading it form some old book and being all shocked and skeptical!!
So, I'll keep reading (and reviewing as long as you keep writting!

Author's Response: Hmmm...interesting. It'd be kind of funny if Sirius ended up having to explain it all to Herms as well...heh heh heh./

Name: meatofevil (Signed) · Date: 12/07/06 17:26 · For: Chapter 2: Later

Author's Response: *bows*

Name: LoopyLupin111 (Signed) · Date: 12/03/06 12:40 · For: Chapter 2: Later
Cool story.

Author's Response: Thanks!

Name: slytherin simplicity (Signed) · Date: 12/03/06 5:11 · For: Chapter 2: Later
awe ^_^

your very good at writing
i like this story alot


Author's Response: Thanks!

Name: James Clan (Signed) · Date: 11/29/06 19:25 · For: Chapter 1: Late
...yikes, no thank you for harry or sirius, meaning not in charactor at all, sorry

Author's Response: Hmmm...did you actually read it, or did you base your judgment on the idea of HP/SB?

Name: SiriuslyInLove7 (Signed) · Date: 11/25/06 16:18 · For: Chapter 2: Later
aw! i loved it! im sooo glad you made a second chapter!

Author's Response: Thanks!

Name: theaurortonks (Signed) · Date: 11/16/06 14:16 · For: Chapter 2: Later
Awesome twist at the end.

Author's Response: Woof!

Name: Kyr (Signed) · Date: 11/12/06 10:15 · For: Chapter 2: Later
Nooo......... loved the first, hated the second.
keep it up.

Author's Response: Interesting--why'd you hate it?

Name: a girl (Anonymous) · Date: 11/11/06 16:40 · For: Chapter 2: Later
This was a difficult story to understand. But I'm glad that you finished up with another chapter. It cleared up a few things. Great story. Keep writing.!

Author's Response: *frowns* Hmmm...if it's difficult to understand, that means I need to write it better--could you tell me a little more about what was hard to understand?

Name: Tinka Blinka (Signed) · Date: 11/09/06 17:34 · For: Chapter 2: Later
awww! very cute, much better than the original! i like the second chappie too! very good, keep it up!

Author's Response: :) Thanks!

Name: MuggleHater (Signed) · Date: 10/29/06 15:36 · For: Chapter 1: Late
Love it. Very different. Post more!

Author's Response: It's done. Two chapters was all I could pull out of that theme. Sorry!

Name: DA_twins (Signed) · Date: 10/22/06 19:28 · For: Chapter 2: Later
creepy.....yuck......too disturbing for words

Author's Response: *scratches head* If slashy stuff bugs you, why on earth do you read it?

Name: 1adempeoples (Signed) · Date: 10/18/06 1:29 · For: Chapter 2: Later
I'm glad you decided on continuing the one-shot. I really enjoyed it. You did a good job on the rewrite of the first chapter too, not that I didn't like it to begin with.

Author's Response: Thanks!

Name: I lovesmesomeHarry (Signed) · Date: 10/17/06 19:04 · For: Chapter 2: Later
Awww! that epilogue made me smile!

Author's Response: *nods* I like it more, now, too. A boy and his dog...how much more wholesome can you get?

Name: Magick Duck (Signed) · Date: 10/03/06 18:22 · For: Chapter 1: Late
its a good story i really think that you should finish iot or at least add more chapers ... this story has become my new inside joke about my frieds brother lol ne way continue

Author's Response: well, I finally broke down and added a chapter...but THAT'S IT!

Name: Lurid (Signed) · Date: 10/02/06 3:18 · For: Chapter 1: Late
Well, I wasn't hesitant to read this fic, because your short summary didn't butter this fiction up to be anything spectacular, to be better than the rest or anything. This fiction seems comfortable with its place on this site, and where it is seems to fit.

I actually liked the start. It symbolised that although Sirius wasn't quite at the stage where Harry's scream permeated his dreams, he still felt the fatherly urge to help the boy. It was a good start to the story, and some insight into Sirius' position in Harry's life.

This easily fitted into the canon holidays, but I thought it lacked background, and imagery. I think you might need to spend a little more time describing the scene and setting to better connect it to the books, so that the reader feels like they know the place it's all happening, and it makes it all the more real.

Another thing I would suggest to you about the lack of interest from some readers is the internal thoughts technique. As the story is from Sirius' point of view at the start, it'd be nice to see you carry this story along, dipping into Sirius' thoughts every now and then. Sirius is supposed to be having this internal struggle whether not he loves Harry as more than a son/god son, and I think that by having a small amount of insight into Sirius', or even Harry’s position would make the story a little more fleshed out and believable. Even a small look into Harry’s mind, the head that the reader's are stuck in during the canon books would, as I said before, make things familiar and more believable if it was justified in the eyes that they see through.

I'm stressing the theme of connectedness, because I believe that many people are afraid of what they don't know. If people got to know your version of Sirius and Harry, I think perhaps they'd leave kinder and more thoughtful reviews. I was looking through here, and you're practically screaming for constructive criticism. I agree, criticism is a useful tool, but only when you can get something out of it.

Before, I stray, I wanted to say that I particularly liked your dialogue. It wasn't smutty, considering the circumstances. With the absurdity of this ship, (Which I will admit, didn't phase me but most certainly fazed others) the dialogue wasn't crude or distasteful. I think you conveyed the longing in Harry's words, and the refusal in Sirius's, but I think you could include again, some verbs and some more imagery.

Finally, and i know you're probably ready to go at my head with a pick axe, or at least damn my screen name for suggesting such atrocities =), I'd suggest perhaps ending your story as beautifully as you started it. It would make it more final, I suppose. I liked this line in particular – "A lot goes on in a year and a half, Harry." because it shows that Sirius, blinded with love for his godson, is still thinking straight. Perhaps you could reflect upon what a child Harry still is, and the thoughts that are still running through Sirius’ head before he goes back to bed. Perhaps, as you end the story on Harry’s terms with another line I like that connects to Sirius’s "A year and a half. A lot could happen.", you could continue it through to Harry falling back asleep in his bed.

Overall though, a solid piece with a few holes. They’re mend able, though, and really, I did enjoy this piece. I didn’t walk away; I stuck through to the end because of the difference in it. Thank you for a good read and an opportunity to think. – Lurid.

Author's Response: Thanks, Lurid, for the thoughtful review. To be totally honest, I've kinda neglected this story a lot--Heirs is more pressing (since I'm reading it to my kid and ergo MUST WRITE MORE) and Exchanges was never meant to be so long but it took on a life of its own. I feel like Chat's not really complete either, but every time I read it, I just can't quite put my finger on what it's missing. I DO know that I started it as a Harry POV (i.e. standard PotterVision) then switched to Sirius's POV, and then BACK, so it ended up choppy--I never really fully entrenched it in either POV. That's definitely part of its problem. I think that's what made it hard to include things like Sirius's internal struggle AND Harry's working up of the nerve to speak up--because with neither of them as a solid "narrator," it's not really set up to delve into their thoughts. Which makes it too superficial for something of this emotional magnitude. Sigh. Yeah. I hope sometime I have a few hours to really clean this story up. I appreciate the meticulous review, though--when I do have time to work it over, I'll certainly be keeping your suggestions in mind. Thanks!

Name: lissagal99 (Signed) · Date: 09/16/06 14:17 · For: Chapter 1: Late
i don't get it. u teased me.

Author's Response: *frowns* What didn't you get? If I need to make something more clear, let me know--I like this story and I want it to be the best it can be.

Name: Manan (Signed) · Date: 08/31/06 3:04 · For: Chapter 1: Late

Author's Response: ??? >:P

Name: vampirebabe (Signed) · Date: 08/27/06 0:43 · For: Chapter 1: Late
actually. its pretty...good. (okok! i admit it, i skipped a lot because it got a bit confusing) although i still can't get used to sirius being harry's lover..urgh..

Author's Response: *sporfle* Well, it would look ramblish if you skipped parts...and Sirius didn't actually do the deed, so no need to squick over it... ;)

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