I really like that you show different sides of Peter Pettigrew in this story. I often complain about the fact that certain characters like him are always portrayed in a certain light.
However, I think your presentation of these parts makes them a bit unrealistic. The main culprit? It's the transitioning. We see him as an optimistic toddler...and then a petrified first year. It doesn't make sense.
You see, babies, on the whole, are happy creatures. And the first year we see is truly Peter - focused on himself and thoroughly frightened. However, we don't see the journey from this Point A to Point B, and that's what kills the realistic-ness of this part.
Then we see him go from a petrified first year to an eager follower. That, too, is a valid showing. But again, we don't see the encouragement the Marauders gave him or anything else that helped him become this person who believed in following James/Sirius/Remus truly.
There's also one problem with characterization in the avid follower bit. He signs up for the War because he's proud that Dumbledore trusts him. This doesn't seem like Peter to me. Peter betrays his best friend James, who trusts him. I think that Peter would sign up for the War in search of power, and leave the Order on basis of fear, or power...Trust isn't something he's been shown to value at that age, though maybe if Voldemort betrays him, he eventually could value it.
The final bit of characterization was perfect. Peter wants to be appreciated - he wants power. However the ending was a bit OOC, in my opinion.
Peter has fled from death before, and in my opinion he would flee again. He would NOT face it - he values his own safety above anything else, and he has very little pride (begging Harry to save his life in PoA, remember?).
You need another transition. A stunning event that shows Peter he is no longer safe by running away, or that he has NO POWER in the Dark Lord's side, or that he will be safer with the Order. Force his values (safety and power) to be what makes him return once again - not pride or indignation (which are things in canon that he takes very little stock in).
I hope you don't mind this critical review. I wouldn't have bothered to write it had I not thought that the story was worth it to begin with! It really is wonderfully multifaceted - your characterization, IMO, needs a bit of tweaking, and you'll be GREAT!
(And if you disagree, well then, feel free to ignore EVERYTHING I've just said - it's your story after all!)
Author's Response: Wow... *gapes at review* Thank you for the well thought out review. Looking back on it, I believe I do need to add some more scenes in between the ones that I all ready have. I'll defiantly have to keep all this in mind the next time I write Peter. Thank you again for the review!
Eerie. I love it! This was an interesting look into the mind of the evil rat man. I cannot stand Peter, but I still really enjoyed this story. I liked how you said he couldn't understand how the others stayed loyal when it was so obvious who was going to win the war. I can imagine that being his only reason for switching sides. He was only interested in saving his own neck. He is such a git. Anyway, the point is this was a really great story. It was interesting to see flashes of Peter's life from childhood to what most likely would be shortly before death. Very well done!
Author's Response: Thank you. It's definantly a favourite of mine. On some level I think 'the evil rat man' (lol) is misunderstood. Although, I do think all he was thinking about was saving his own life.
I adore the idea. Personally, Peter is not my favorite character. Is he anyone's? But, I love the way you describe his life and phases and motivations through color. It was quite brillant. How did those bunnies ever come up to plot it?
Author's Response: Honestly, he's not any where near any of my favourite characters, but he most definantly is one of my favourites to write. Personally, I think a lot of people misinterpret his personality. You'd have to ask my muse about how I stumbled upon my bunny, because I'm completely clueless of how the thought even entered my mind.
This is a rather fast-paced opening-and-closing shutter, skipping forward through Peter's life. You give Peter the colors, the colors are Peter. Then the flash where Peter is actually branded by the Dark mark is notable for the absence of color. It's almost a death scene in a way, a funeral. The lack of color is very appropriate.
Constructive comment: This works as it is, but I'd almost like to see more time spent on each section, more detail, more depth. Maybe a couple more sections. What color would becoming James and Lily's secret keeper have been? What color would framing Sirius have been?
Overall: This is a nice fic with good flow and a nice unifying theme.
Author's Response: As I look back at it, I'd have to agree it was a little more quick moving than it needed to be. There is defiantly room for expansion. I'll have to remember to add more detail in my next one-shot. Thanks for the constructive review!
wow! this fic shows peter from a totally new perspective. in most stories he is shown as a quiet, insignificant sneak, but you actually gave him character. i have always been fascinated by peter pettigrew, and you did a really good job of portraying him in a different way.
Author's Response: Peter defiantly had a lot of opertunity to his personality. In my opinion, we don't really know too much about him, so that leaves me room to expand. I know exactly what you mean by the cliched quiet, everyone hates Peter type. But, I'd have to say he has way more depth than that. Thanks for the review!
I enjoyed this very much, though I've never heard of someone being 'orange from excitement'. It was interesting to see his changes as colors rather than actual change, to go from light radiant colors to darker ones. Very well done.
Author's Response: Orange with excitement is a term that isn't used as often as blue from sadness, but still is used occasionally. I'm glad you liked the change in colours, as that's how I chose the different phrases I would write about. Thank you for the encouraging review!
Amazingly well-written. Most stories make him an idiot, but this actually made sense because he had to have more than a little bit of brains to be an Animagus.
Nice! : )
Author's Response: That's exactly how I feel. If he had enough brains to be around the other Marauders and could become an Animagus, he has to have some power and depth to his personality. I'm glad you liked it.
I alwes wanted to read a story a Peter and im glad that you made one, it was orginal and i liked how you just gave us importent fashis of his life and i hope tha t you write more.
Author's Response: Originality was exactly what I was going for. I tried to focus on the main stages of his life, although I think there were a few others that I could have incorportated in. Thanks for the review.
I liked this one.
I've never really read anything from his p.o.v. Quite intriguing! 10/10!!!!!
Author's Response: Thank you. I tried to capture him from a different angle and give him a little bit more depth. I'm glad you liked it.