MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!

Name: Noel Weasley (Signed) · Date: 07/07/07 15:53 · For: When The Line Has Been Crossed (It's Time For Revenge...)
sweet and angsty. i like Selena, "Canít I just sock him in the face once?" Selena asked very quietly, still watching the bright orb in the sky.

was funny. so, is Selena or Severus the oldest? if Selena is the oldest, then i completely understand how she's feeling. i happen to have a younger brother *go me* and he usually hates me most of the time *seriously* and i sometimes return that feeling, but as soon as he gets picked on, well, i go into 'protective and kill' mode. hehehe, i mean, i insult and if they are my age or so, i try to physically hurt. really! i mean, if my brother starts to feel bad or sad, then yeah, i drop whatever I'm doing and kill. makes me wish i had claws.

cool story. sorry about my rambling. :D :P

Author's Response: Selena is actually a year younger than Severus (I had mapped it out that she was born in '61 and he '60, if you're curious). I understand completely what you're saying about siblings. I have a younger brother too. There are times when I'm ready to beat my head repeatedly on a wall because of him, but I love him quite a lot and can be very protective.

Anyway, I'm glad you liked this. I do love Selena, even if I don't much like the stories she's in. I'll probably have to write her again sometime. Thanks for the nice review! :)

Name: MrsRuebeusHagridDursley (Signed) · Date: 06/06/07 14:15 · For: When The Line Has Been Crossed (It's Time For Revenge...)
Wow! That was wonderful! I thought your characterization of all of the characters was excellent. Except for one little thing:

"I was making sure she didnít attack anyone else, if thatís fine with you ó "

I don't think Sirius would even offer Severus an explanation. I picture that he would just ignore him.

And some tiny little nit picks.

Even though Selena did not have a lot left on her essay...

I don't think this flows as well as it could. I would try:

Even though Selena did not have a lot left to write on her essay... or Even though Selena did not have a lot left to do on her essay...


typical, Selena thought irritably

That "t" should be capitalized. Although it's not the beginning of the sentence, it's the beginning of her thought.

Iím going to go back there and show that vile pureblood if itís the last thing I damn well do ó "

In the story this seems like it's formatted strangely. There's the dash on one line, and the end qutation marks on the beginnig of the other.

Other than that, that was an excellent story. I loved everything about it.

Author's Response: Wow, I was quite surprised to see a new review for this story (but not unpleasantly surprised).

About Sirius, I disagree. Sirius is very angry at present: his best friend is screaming at him, he nearly *unintentionally* killed a hated peer, and now the sister of the peer he hates is trying to attack him. I don't see him as ignoring Severus ever, in fact; in the pensive scene in OotP Sirius went out of his way to torment Severus. But that's my opinion, at least.

I agree with your formatting issues though. Although, about the formatting with the dash, there's not really any way to change that. It bothers me too, but unless I added/deleted a word, it would still look like that.

Anyhow, thanks so much for all the comments, Morgan! *huggles* :D

Name: Schmerg_The_Impaler (Signed) · Date: 10/06/06 15:13 · For: When The Line Has Been Crossed (It's Time For Revenge...)
This is my favourite of your stories (and I like everything you've written.) Although I've never been incredibly fond of Snape, your portrayal of him is the most realistic, three-dimensional characterization I've ever seen. I especially like this story's characterization, showing Severus's and Selena's flaws and good traits without stating anything about them outright. Your writing style reminds me of JK Rowling's-- are you sure you're not secretly her?
My favourite part was when Severus returned all scratched up, and when Selena demanded to know where he had been, he replied, "I went out." He's just so... I don't know. He reminds me of one of my friends, and that made me chortle under my breath. I liked your portrayal of James, too-- I liked him a lot.

Author's Response: Wow, I'm just awed at all your praise. I'm surprised you liked how James was shown; I've never really written him (or Sirius) and had no earthly idea how to go about it initially.... Thanks so much!

Name: HorcruxHunter14 (Signed) · Date: 07/29/06 14:42 · For: When The Line Has Been Crossed (It's Time For Revenge...)
I really enjoyed this. Their relationship as brother and sister is so believable. Good work!

Author's Response: Thanks so much!

Name: Sly Severus (Signed) · Date: 07/02/06 18:55 · For: When The Line Has Been Crossed (It's Time For Revenge...)
So Selena's a fighter. This was nice. I really like the way you write Severus' relationship with his sister. The only thing, I think you may have used the word were a few times when it should have been was. Other than that, great!

Author's Response: The siblings are a fun pair to write. :) Thanks for pointing out the grammar issue, I must have overlooked that while obsessing over how to end this...maybe when I'm not so lazy I'll go back and fix it...glad you liked it, though!

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