Reviewer: Noel Weasley
Date: 07/07/07 15:53
Chapter: When The Line Has Been Crossed (It's Time For Revenge...)

sweet and angsty. i like Selena, "Canít I just sock him in the face once?" Selena asked very quietly, still watching the bright orb in the sky.

was funny. so, is Selena or Severus the oldest? if Selena is the oldest, then i completely understand how she's feeling. i happen to have a younger brother *go me* and he usually hates me most of the time *seriously* and i sometimes return that feeling, but as soon as he gets picked on, well, i go into 'protective and kill' mode. hehehe, i mean, i insult and if they are my age or so, i try to physically hurt. really! i mean, if my brother starts to feel bad or sad, then yeah, i drop whatever I'm doing and kill. makes me wish i had claws.

cool story. sorry about my rambling. :D :P

Author's Response: Selena is actually a year younger than Severus (I had mapped it out that she was born in '61 and he '60, if you're curious). I understand completely what you're saying about siblings. I have a younger brother too. There are times when I'm ready to beat my head repeatedly on a wall because of him, but I love him quite a lot and can be very protective.

Anyway, I'm glad you liked this. I do love Selena, even if I don't much like the stories she's in. I'll probably have to write her again sometime. Thanks for the nice review! :)

Reviewer: MrsRuebeusHagridDursley
Date: 06/06/07 14:15
Chapter: When The Line Has Been Crossed (It's Time For Revenge...)

Wow! That was wonderful! I thought your characterization of all of the characters was excellent. Except for one little thing:

"I was making sure she didnít attack anyone else, if thatís fine with you ó "

I don't think Sirius would even offer Severus an explanation. I picture that he would just ignore him.

And some tiny little nit picks.

Even though Selena did not have a lot left on her essay...

I don't think this flows as well as it could. I would try:

Even though Selena did not have a lot left to write on her essay... or Even though Selena did not have a lot left to do on her essay...


typical, Selena thought irritably

That "t" should be capitalized. Although it's not the beginning of the sentence, it's the beginning of her thought.

Iím going to go back there and show that vile pureblood if itís the last thing I damn well do ó "

In the story this seems like it's formatted strangely. There's the dash on one line, and the end qutation marks on the beginnig of the other.

Other than that, that was an excellent story. I loved everything about it.

Author's Response: Wow, I was quite surprised to see a new review for this story (but not unpleasantly surprised).

About Sirius, I disagree. Sirius is very angry at present: his best friend is screaming at him, he nearly *unintentionally* killed a hated peer, and now the sister of the peer he hates is trying to attack him. I don't see him as ignoring Severus ever, in fact; in the pensive scene in OotP Sirius went out of his way to torment Severus. But that's my opinion, at least.

I agree with your formatting issues though. Although, about the formatting with the dash, there's not really any way to change that. It bothers me too, but unless I added/deleted a word, it would still look like that.

Anyhow, thanks so much for all the comments, Morgan! *huggles* :D

Reviewer: Schmerg_The_Impaler
Date: 10/06/06 15:13
Chapter: When The Line Has Been Crossed (It's Time For Revenge...)

This is my favourite of your stories (and I like everything you've written.) Although I've never been incredibly fond of Snape, your portrayal of him is the most realistic, three-dimensional characterization I've ever seen. I especially like this story's characterization, showing Severus's and Selena's flaws and good traits without stating anything about them outright. Your writing style reminds me of JK Rowling's-- are you sure you're not secretly her?
My favourite part was when Severus returned all scratched up, and when Selena demanded to know where he had been, he replied, "I went out." He's just so... I don't know. He reminds me of one of my friends, and that made me chortle under my breath. I liked your portrayal of James, too-- I liked him a lot.

Author's Response: Wow, I'm just awed at all your praise. I'm surprised you liked how James was shown; I've never really written him (or Sirius) and had no earthly idea how to go about it initially.... Thanks so much!

Reviewer: HorcruxHunter14
Date: 07/29/06 14:42
Chapter: When The Line Has Been Crossed (It's Time For Revenge...)

I really enjoyed this. Their relationship as brother and sister is so believable. Good work!

Author's Response: Thanks so much!

Reviewer: Sly Severus
Date: 07/02/06 18:55
Chapter: When The Line Has Been Crossed (It's Time For Revenge...)

So Selena's a fighter. This was nice. I really like the way you write Severus' relationship with his sister. The only thing, I think you may have used the word were a few times when it should have been was. Other than that, great!

Author's Response: The siblings are a fun pair to write. :) Thanks for pointing out the grammar issue, I must have overlooked that while obsessing over how to end this...maybe when I'm not so lazy I'll go back and fix it...glad you liked it, though!

You must login (register) to review.
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.

We have stories and authors in this archive.


Choose Theme:
The Weird Sisters - B-Sides and Rarities, Vol. 2 by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor 1st-2nd Years
The Weird Sisters are back for an encore. Ten more tracks from your MNFF authors.
on this side of heaven by Nagini Riddle 1st-2nd Years
Ariana Dumbledore is struck by a stray curse, and she suddenly finds herself...
The Youngest Death Eaters: Year III by DestinyMoonStar 6th-7th Years
Year 3 A year of hard choices and tough talks: Destiny learns about...
Oread, Walking by Seren
Cedric was just as odd as Hermione, because he liked to walk. Cedric/Hermione
The Effect of Gamma Rays on Two Terrifically Trapped Gryffindors. by Fenixaze 3rd-5th Years
From the "Stuck where for the weekend?" Challenge on ... Our two...
Drunk on Him by armagod679 Professors
For me, he was an obsession, a burning obsession, one that I could never let...
A Broken Hallelujah by epiphany212 Professors
You have always loved the chase. The pursuit of Quaffles and dragons have carried...
In the Hufflepuff Way by 1000timesingoldenink 3rd-5th Years
Did anybody really appreciate Hannah's mum?Because Mrs. Abbott was a heroine...
And Now... by Oregonian 3rd-5th Years
Moments after the death of Voldemort, Harry gazes at the corpse of the Dark...
The Weird Sisters - B-Sides and Rarities, Vol. 1 by minnabird 1st-2nd Years
Welcome back to another rousing round of rambunctious rock!However, a new act...