Very well written. Probably the best poem I have read in a long time.
Author's Response: Thank you so very much. I'm glad you enjoyed the poem!
Well done in being nominated for QSQs! :)
I really like the way that the two parts of this poe interact. It's almost like reading a double poem. The underlying situation passes gradually and yet is noticeable. The last lines in particular are really effective.
This is an interesting way of portraying Snape, and I really enjoyed reading it. :)
Author's Response: Thank you very much! I am quite anxious for the winners to be announced in the coming weeks. I am so glad you enjoyed reading this. My favorite part was coming up with the underlying emotions. Choosing the right words to go along with the actions in the stanzas was difficult at times. Thanks for taking the time to review! I appreciate it!
I quite liked this - nice job! The way the sets of three words evolved to the end was wonderful. So do you think Snape is good or evil or stuck somewhere in between? :) Again - great job! ~Gina :)
Author's Response: First, thank you so much for the kind words. The hardest part was finding an appropriate new word in each revolution, so I'm very glad it all works nicely together.
I am hopelessly and forever a Severus fangirl and will always support his innocence! Severus is good, he is!
Thanks for taking the time to review!
wow... thats all i really can say
Author's Response: Thank you. It is interesting to know that my poem made someone speechless. At least I am assuming that is the only reason you could say wow. Thanks so much for the review!
Nice flow. An interesting look at Snape's thoughts the night Dumbledore died. Well done!
Author's Response: Thank you so much for taking the time to review! I'm glad you enjoyed the poem.
I really liked the way you repeated the phrases after Snape's thoughts. It really brought the poem alive, and when I read it, those lines stuck out as if I was chanting them. I don't know why, really, but I do like how you modified them as Snape's emotions changed, and he realized more things.
I have one thing to add, though. In the beginning, you say, "Stupid boy think he knows when he doesn't." Which, I am assuming that you are referring to Draco. But down a little bit, you say, "I halt when I come upon the old man and the young boy." Which now the boy is Harry, but it could get a bit confusing. I think maybe saying a young boy would clarify things better. That's the only thing I have to add! Good job; I really enjoyed it!
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the kind words! I assumed that people would know I was refering to Draco both times, since Harry is under his invisibility cloak and Severus wouldn't know that Harry is there, unless of course he knew ahead of time. When Severus comes up the stairs it is Draco, Dumbledore, and I believe a few other Death Eaters, with Harry frozen and invisible. I can understand how it could get confusing though. I'm glad you enjoyed the repeating lines. Those were my favorite part of the poem to come up with. Thank you so much for taking the time to review!
Hmm.. not really my personal taste for poetry. But the repeating lines that kind of cycle is clever, and it shows the progression of Snape's emotions--a more steady, concentrated flow while everything around him changes really quickly. It's good!
Author's Response: Thank you very much! I'm glad you enjoyed the poem even though it doesn't quite fit your tastes. I was hoping to show Severus' emotions more clearly through the repeating lines and am glad that came across. Thanks for taking the time to review!
interesting.
The flow of the poem is very scenery-like, and I loved it!
first reviewer!!
Author's Response: Thank you so much for taking the time to review! I'm very glad you liked my poem. I had trouble with the flow of this poem and was pleased to hear that it was well done. Thanks!
