Reviewer: Fly to Dawn
Date: 08/02/06 8:42
Chapter: The Last Autobiography of Masami Yamamura

Oooh, a Japanese character - interesting!
I love the part about the samurai. Being Japanese myself, I think the 'dying honourably' way of thinking is very Japanese. You managed to make Masami into both a true Gryffindor and a true Japanese girl!
Time for nit-picking...
Did you know that according to Japanese legend
There should be either an 'a' before 'Japanese', or an 's' at the end of 'legend'.
'Calico cat' is an Americanism, Brits usually call them 'Tortoiseshells'. The Calico cat being lucky isn't too much of a famous legend, but it might be from where Masami's family comes from - it depends.
'Tyra Portman' sounds like a combination of two names from famous stars. 'Tyra' wasn't a very common British name during the time period she lived, so I would consider changing that.
"...though some people do practice..."
This should be 'did practice' unless Hermione actually speaks it in dialogue.
I also saw the name 'Alexis Finnegan'. 'Alexis' is an American name, so I would consider changing it. Perhaps to some Irish name to go with her father?
Overall, it was well-written - well done!

Reviewer: queendiva4evr
Date: 06/26/06 10:41
Chapter: The Last Autobiography of Masami Yamamura

Beautiful!! You repeated the word revenge a little too much (use vengeance instead?) but it has certain flare.

Reviewer: grangergurl
Date: 06/25/06 20:24
Chapter: The Last Autobiography of Masami Yamamura

First review!! *does happy dance* I'm so glad it got in. Congrats!

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
Makers of Fine Wands by CanisMajor 1st-2nd Years
Ollivander of Croton arrives in Athens in 382 BC with big dreams, noneof which...
Never Let Go by majestic_ginny 3rd-5th Years
DAUGHTER OF MINISTER FOR MAGIC FOUND DEAD Lucy Weasley, eldest daughter of...
Black Death by Northumbrian 3rd-5th Years
Three renegade Blacks, Alphard, Andromeda, and Sirius, must find ways to mourn...
FEATURED
Thank you for your time, Professor by Equinox Chick 1st-2nd Years
It is April 1976, and Minerva McGonagall sits in her office, arranging biscuits...
Heat of the Moment by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor Professors
A night of paperwork, coffee, and burning the midnight oil... it wasn't...
A Splendid Fate by hestiajones 6th-7th Years
One failed photograph, two halved souls, and the numerous, marvellous machinations...
CATEGORIES