hello there! u posted on the forum thing. (My other screen name is JusKissMe1MoreTime). so i decided to check out your story! its great! please check out mine too..later on...if they ever accept it! lol
Here is the promised review... your characters are fine, so don't fuss about that. I had trouble reading the story, but that was more the formatting than the story itself. It looks promising - just try to add a little bang to it. Great start, though. :)
Author's Response: Yay! Thank you very much for reviewing Seren =D At least I don't have to worry about the way I wrote my characters so far ;)
Hi Kororh Sorry I meant paragraphs not chapters doh. I must mention the fact that I like how your mind works in ending the chapter with the discover of Harry on the beach. Cliffhanger or what! !!!
Author's Response: ahh you spoiled who it was! but of course EVERYONE should know who this person with the very thin scar shaped like a lightning bolt! or else they wouldn't be here reading =P
Hiya Koroth Nice first chapter. I like how you explained a lot of information in the first three or four chapters, good work. If this is your first story, well done. I think you could describe who the characters are a little bit more but thatís nitpicking. I will be interested how the story progressís. Again well done and keep it up. PS I think that the Neil Banks character sounds familiar to me but I don't know why!! mmmm lol. All the best Wiganlad
Author's Response: no, this isn't my first story. i've did other ones, but never really submitted them online. however, since i was able to get this first chapter up on here, i'll be glad to continue it!! and dont worry about the characters - they'll be revealed soon as the chapters get finished.