Very well done. This is very believable, and the writing's very smooth. Good characterizations and an original plot--keep it up!
You’ve done an AMAZING job here. There’s a constant flow to your writing, which makes it easy to read and very interesting. I liked that you alternated between narrative text and the letters home to England; it gave the story a bit of variation.
The research you’ve done must’ve been extensive; both the little facts and things about Greece, staying on a ship and the time period added to the brilliance-ness of the story and nothing felt too forced, or anything. Great job!
Journeys end in lovers meeting...
You’ve gotta love that quote =P It fits very well with your fic and you’ve done a very good job making it into a full story. =)
I also liked how you gradually let the reader know the relationship between Cassandra and Albus, how they know each other and why they’re journeying to Greece together. Cassandra’s character is lovely – not as crazy as the Trelawney we know, but with the same (yet more advanced) Seeing capabilities. You wrote those very well; both the premonitions and prophecy were believable and just like I would’ve imagined them to be and feel like. =) Your characterization of Albus was AWESOME, exactly like I thought he would have been as a child. Clever, intelligent and extremely curious, always thirsty for knowledge. I also liked the adventurous side you put to him, I think that fits in as well and it was a nice, sweet touch to the story!
I love every little bit of this story. I wished it were longer, and that we would’ve found out what the captain’s real intentions were! This is such a great story, you’ve done a wonderful job, honestly! Awesomely done, Joanna! =)
Oh, my! Joanna, this is such a wonderful story!
First off, I loved the way you interspersed the Greek culture into the fic. Out of all the historical fics I’ve read so far, this one surely stands out. It was good to read a historical fic without having facts thrown into your face just for the sake of it. You’ve also done your research pretty well, dear; it seemed like you definitely knew what you were doing. =]
Second off, the characters. You had a nice grip of each character, and made their personalities so different and diverse from each other. I loved how you wrote Albus, especially. I can totally see Albus being the curious little boy who’s always asking questions, LOL. And Cassandra was such a delightful character. Her brand of Seeing, though, is a bit different from what we’ve seen in canon … perhaps it was different back in the previous century? Or maybe that’s how a true Seer Sees. ;)
Mr Trelawney was such a great character too. It’s so noble of him to resign his job when there was foul play. And brave too, to offer to help Cassandra. He’s such a hero. =]
And the quote in the beginning of the story was so apt. Isn’t it convenient that Shakespeare has a quote for everything? =D
I have just one tiny nit-pick to make:
His stomach rumbled, but that didn’t surprise him, he was always hungry.
The second comma should be a semi-colon. =]
Overall, though, thanks for such a refreshing read, dear!
Hi :). I absolutely LOVED your story, especially the way that the letters home from Cassandra were interspersed throughout it. They added to the journeying aspect of the story really well.
Journeys end in lovers meeting...
This is such a perfect quote to put at the beginning of the story. Although I didn't notice it at first, it was brilliant foreshadowing of what was to come. It can be taken quite literally, too, because the story does, in fact, end with "lovers meeting."
Little Albus is adorable! It's quite funny, because the way you write him as a child is nothing like the way he is as an adult. Besides the fact that he showed that he was rather intelligent as a child, as his is as an adult, he is so different from his older self. I'm glad that you wrote him as being extremely curious; it does make sense that he would be a curious youngster :).
I am going to have to say, though, that my favorite character is Cassandra (which would make sense, since she is kind of the main character). She is so strong-willed and capable of so much, which was very rare for a woman at that time. This is also interesting, because as Sibyll Trelawney's grandmother (she is her grandmother, right?), she's pretty down-to-earth :P.
Last thing (I promise!) -- the way you worked the Grecian culture into the story was truly amazing. You definitely knew what you were talking about when you wrote it, and it seemed like you did a good amount of research on it.
Overall, it was amazing, dahling. Keep up the awesome work!
Your story was recommended in the forums and I dropped by and I'm so happy that I did. I really loved your story. The historical atmosphere is constructed nicely, and the idea of bringing together Albus and Cassandra is a very good one. I very much enjoyed reading this; thanks for a lovely read!
Well, I thought I'd drop in and say what I did before - this is excellent! I really enjoyed reading it, and the phrase you used on the banner went so well with the story. Congratulations on a dramatic but believable love story.
Author's Response: Oh, thank you so much! Yup, you gotta love Shakespeare, he always comes up with a convenient phrase. ;) I think I will edit the story and put the catchphrase there too... Thanks again!