MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!

Name: bellyjeanie (Signed) · Date: 02/14/11 18:32 · For: The Valentine
Is he in love with Bellatrix? Cuz I am too!(I'm a girl, I mean like I love her character;))
Really good. I love how his twisted mind defines love.

Name: armagod679 (Signed) · Date: 10/04/10 21:18 · For: The Valentine
Trixie, perhaps?

Name: FaunaCaritas (Signed) · Date: 12/25/06 19:13 · For: The Valentine
LOL! Is Voldie watching the sky for the Dark Mark? *chortles* Such a well done valentine! If only the pasty, red-eyed, spider-handed, bald, noseless hunk would send one to me! I think I would swoon.


Author's Response: thanks for the review. Actually, when i wrote the poem i ment for him to be watching the sky for and owl to deliver a responce. But your idea is good, too.

Name: marry_me_rupert (Signed) · Date: 10/07/06 18:49 · For: The Valentine
Hi [...] ! Betcha didn't expect me to review, eh?! It's Bella! now let me see the icon that your sister was so nice about or else! Oh, and, um, nice fic!

P.S. If you don't know who it is, your going senile.

Author's Response: I don't know what happened to the icon. I sent it to the winner. . . Hows band? ARe ya going to the thing on the dat that is soon that I'll be at? Do you know what I'm talking about?

Name: RiddleHatred (Signed) · Date: 10/07/06 10:59 · For: The Valentine
Ooh. Ooh.
He's writing to Bella.

Author's Response: yeah. . .

Name: KitKat517 (Signed) · Date: 06/20/06 14:12 · For: The Valentine
I like this poem. So its for Bella (I read the other reviews before reviewing), thats what I thought when I read it. But, I'm too late. O well. Good work.

Author's Response: Thanks. I'm glad you iked it.

Name: T o n k s (Signed) · Date: 06/19/06 18:02 · For: The Valentine
You know I can make you another icon, the one you made is weird...

Author's Response: I could make another one, too if I wanted to. You know what, I will. Right now. Bye.

Name: Bookwormy (Signed) · Date: 06/19/06 13:52 · For: The Valentine
Good! I think the witch is Bellatrix? I'm late I know but there's no harm in guessing, is there?!!

Author's Response: You're right. Yeah, a little late, though.

Name: debd4u (Signed) · Date: 06/19/06 13:03 · For: The Valentine
Ithink the character you are writing about is Bellatrix!! cool Rhyme scheme!!

Author's Response: Your right. I'm glad you liked my rhyme scheme.

Name: Sly Severus (Signed) · Date: 06/19/06 13:00 · For: The Valentine
Haha! Very amusing. But someone should teach old Voldy that the way to romance a girl does not involve using the Crucio curse, using them as a servant, or allowing them to go to Azkaban in his name. Poor Voldy, he really needs to work on his social skills.

Author's Response: Yes he does. Thanks for the review. I'm glad you found my poem amusing.

Name: comewhatmay (Signed) · Date: 06/19/06 12:34 · For: The Valentine
sorry i said 'keep up the good'
twice :[

Author's Response: No problem!

Name: comewhatmay (Signed) · Date: 06/19/06 12:33 · For: The Valentine
I already know to whom you
meant from the 'you beautiful witch' but
i must say that the description you give
voldemort simply does not comply with what he actually is and it made me think even though this is fanfiction i was thinking that maybe he did love someone in his past. but anyways i loved your poem. keep up the good work!
keep up the good

Author's Response: Thank you!

Name: Vader (Signed) · Date: 06/19/06 12:14 · For: The Valentine
It’s Wormtail, right? I’m just kidding. I looked at your reviews after I read it and the correct answer was given.

Good job on this one, on the whole. Though, I struggle with the idea of Voldemort sitting there with a bag of those little heart-shaped candies with the corny phrases on them, it was entertaining, and that’s what matters most!

Good Stuff:

I really liked this part:

I love you more than dark, cold nights,
[more] than ending an innocent muggle’s life.
More than Avada Kedavra! and Crucio!
More than snakes and death and Imperio!

If Voldemort did have a bag of those candies, a lot of those candies would read like parts of those lines. I was wondering if you missed a “more” there though, which I put in brackets. It seems like it fits there. If not, count it as a suggestion. Also, I might personally lose the “!” after “Kedavra”. The extra punctuation, I think, doesn’t add much (granted, I’m no expert). Still, it was a great passage! I really liked it. OH! Almost forgot, is Muggle supposed to be capitalized? Yeah, you know you’ve spent too much time writing fan fiction if you know that.

Also, “You make me feel all evil inside” is awesome. I hope you don’t mind, but I may use that sometime in the future. Not in any written work, but in conversation. Hope you’re not offended by me saying so, but I laughed out-loud at that one. And, “I’ll be waiting, waiting, and watching the sky” was good too. No vocal laughs though.


I found a place or two where the punctuation was either off or broke up the flow a little bit. I mentioned one such instance above. Another example, “Do you, too, have feelings to let show?” I guess I can’t find anything wrong there technically speaking. But, the commas, for me, threw off the rhythm just a bit. “Do you too have feelings to let show” works just fine as well. What do you think?

Lastly, the rhyme scheme seemed to fall apart a little bit at the end. Hey, it’s tough to keep it going. And, there’s something to say for picking the right word over a rhyming word. I think it would have maybe been worth your time and worth the payoff to spend a little more time on the second half of this poem and keep the rhyme scheme in tact.

Good job and keep up the good work.

Author's Response: Wow! Thank you for the long and detailed review! I'm glad you enjoyed it and will try to use some of your suggestions, if not to revise this, then in future stories. Again, thanks!

Author's Response: Also, I almost forgot, It's totally fine by me if you use "You make me feel all evil inside" in conforsation. I'm gald you liked that line. It's quite a commlement that someone would actually was to use it.

Name: king (Signed) · Date: 06/19/06 12:06 · For: The Valentine
Cute poem! I love it. The line about Azkaban pretty much gave it away as Bellatrix, too bad she's married. I've wondered about Tom Riddle, did he have any favorite girls? McGonagall was just a year or two ahead of him. Was there some special reason why Myrtle was murdered? Here's a possible plot for a short story: Tom Riddle asks Myrtle out and gets turned down.

Author's Response: Ha! I like your short story idea. You should write it. Thanks for the review.

Name: HPluvr46 (Signed) · Date: 06/19/06 8:45 · For: The Valentine

Author's Response: That's right, but since you weren't the first person with the right answer, you only get bragging rights.

Name: Spice (Signed) · Date: 06/19/06 4:11 · For: The Valentine
the poem doesn't match voldy from the books, but its a dead ringer for the movie voldy! i've always favoured the idea of voldy and bella as king and queen evil, so i'm gonna assume u mean bella here! its fits the "watching the sky" too!

Author's Response: Thanks for the review. Your guess was correct, but you weren't the first person, so sorry, no prize. But you still get bragging rights!

Name: mudblood48 (Signed) · Date: 06/19/06 3:41 · For: The Valentine
belatrix lestrange !

Author's Response: Correct! You win! Thanks for the review!

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