Great Job! I loved the flash backs. its hard to find good fics about Severus' childhood. I love how you interlaced HP and your OCs so well. Keep writing (preferably about Severus' childhood)! :-)
Author's Response: Oh, thank you! I think I've really improved a lot since writing this story, but it still makes me proud to get reviews for it. I really should write more about Sevy's childhood, I haven't in a while . . . :D Anyway, thank you again for your kind review.
I am thouroughly enjoying this so far...
But one thing- a few of the things the characters say (eg, Dumby "How are you doing?") are decidedly American. In that instance, I cannot imagine Dumbledore saying that- something more like "How have you been?" would have been more British. And McGonagall seems to be having a similar problem with her dialogue. You've got her manner right, but some of the words just jar- "Why donít you just go see Albus, Selena," technically doesn't make sense, and I feel she would be impeccably correct in her grammar- something like "Perhaps it would be best if you just went and saw Albus, Selena" would be better. The "Go see" ought to be "Go and see" at any rate. But that's just me, I'm sure you know better than I do what you're doing.
I love the correspondence between the Snapes- he is perfectly in character, and I don't know how you think of such funny things for all your characters to say!
On to the next chapter!
Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review, Phia. I definitely see what you're saying about the dialogue. On one level, I absolutely love this story because it was the first fic longer that a few thousand words that I ever finished, but on the other hand I really have come to hate it because I feel like I've improved a lot since writing it (I started this two years ago come October :o). But I'm glad you're enjoying despite this, and thanks for reading. :D
She finally figured it out. I was seriously about to throw something at her. I love your characters, and you captured Severus perfectly, too, even in just the letters in the beginning. This was wonderful!
Author's Response: *giggles* Yes, she did figure it out. Thanks for the nice review! :D
*giggles* It's a nice ending. I like that she finally came terms with trusting her brother. Somehow, it seems like there should be more though. However, I know how you feel about being sick of it. I was beyond sick of Only Human. I almost deleted it, but I managed to finish it because of a few loyal readers. So I know where your coming from. But overall, this was awesome. Very well done! Sorry, it took me so long to finish it.
Author's Response: Lol, yes, it isn't very tied up. But I really was getting sick of this story. It was just feeling very...I don't know, annoying. :P And parts felt stupid, and cliched, and I just generally felt it wasn't all that well written. But, I had made it pretty far, so knew I wouldn't be happy with myself if I just abandoned it.
Anywho. Thank you for reading, and sticking out the story. :) *huggles*
Hmmm...interesting. Although, I don't really understand why she agreed. He has given her no reason to trust him....
Author's Response: *shrugs* She agreed because a) he's her brother, b) I didn't know why she would agree, and c) I was sick of the story. No, those aren't good reasons in the slightest, but there ya go. :P Lol.
Loved it! I would say your best chapter. :D
Although, one question, what is a rat snake?
Author's Response: *giggleblush* Thanks Elle!
Didn't I include an explaination of the patronuses at the bottom of the chapter? I guess I forgot... *scolds self*
I spent a LOT of time trying to figure out an appropriate patronus for Selena. I settled on a black rat snake (also known as the pilot black snake). It is a non-venomus species of snake, found in North America. I don't remember much else off-hand, if you want more detail go to wikipedia. :P
Anyhow. So patronuses are supposed to represent something or someone that protects you. The only person I could ever see filling this role for Selena was Severus. I've always seen Severus having a snake Animagus (if he is one) so decided that Selena needed a snake patronus.
I chose the black rat snake specifically though. The rat snakes are often thought to be copperheads. Copperheads are a poisoness snake, and while rat snakes will bite if threatened, are not related to the copperhead, nor are in any way poisoness. This was supposed to reflect how people sometimes pass judgement on Selena being Severus' sister, even if it's not something she can control.
Sorry about my rambling. I should post all this in the chapter. :P Anyhow, thanks for the review!
*giggles* You really have Severus' annoying nature down. I loved his cryptic letter. I also loved how he just egged her on at the school. It was great.
However, I think this was my favorite line:
"I trust Severus," Dumbledore proclaimed firmly. "And if I do, then that should be enough for everyone."
It was annoying enough when other people said that was a good reason to trust one. To show that Albus is arrogant enough to believe that his opinion is gold, is perfect. It so fits his charater.
Very good, Anna. I'm sorry I've been away from this story for so long.
Author's Response: :D I love writting Severus. As you probably noticed.
Ah, yes, you're not a Dumbledore fan. I actually like the guy, but it is annoying how conceeded he is over his great intelligence.
Don't be sorry. *huggles* I love reviews no matter when I get them! :D
Ooo, I liked this. Selen v. Narcissa was very interesting. I never thought of the two of them being in the same place at the same time. I very much enjoyed Narcissa's attitude in this. :D
Author's Response: *giggles* Thanks, Elle. This was a fun chapter to write. :D
Well, hello, Anna.:D I bet you thought I abandoned this story. I really didn't.
This chapter was interesting. It's strange to see Selena having a life, as there is no indication that she ever has before. It's strange to think that someone could be that controled by the actions of their brother.
And I see Bella got a mention. ;) *huggles Bella*
Author's Response: *smiles* Yes, I did think that. No worries. :P
Anyhow, the sad thing is most people are controlled by what happened to them when they were younger. It's sometimes hard to go on despite what parents/siblings/peers/etc might have said or done. I think it's something we all need to work on, in one way or another.
Anywho, enough preaching. :) I'm glad you were happy to see Bellatrix. She didn't really have the nicest role, though.
Thank you for the review!
I really enjoyed this story. The ending was abrupt but the story was wrapped up. And the closing line had so much warmth and dignity. I hope JKR gives Snape the same treatment.
Author's Response: I agree the ending was abrupt, but I was tired of having this story hanging around. :P I'm also pleasantly surprised that you liked the last line, as that gave me weeks of agonizing as well, hee hee. I'm so glad you enjoyed this, and thank you for the nice review. :)
I actually felt bad for Selena at the end of the chapter. That was an amazing flashback, one of the best, I think.
Author's Response: Thank you for the nice review! :)
Ugh. I love this story. It's.. different and I like that. I hope you'll post the epilogue soon, I want to know what happens!
Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing! I'll probably post the epilogue in a few weeks once I tweek a few things. :)
Again, not something I would have expected from this story, but still very nice. I'm looking forward to seeing how you end this.
Author's Response: Thanks very much!
I think that the last flashback and the last part are my favorites in your story so far. They are very well written.
Author's Response: Thanks very much!
Wow. Another great chapter. Another interesting likeness: Selena and Harry. I kinda see Selena as a combinated of Elphaba and Harry. Selena seems to havev a very strong character, I enjoy reading about her.
Author's Response: Hmm, yes, that's true to an extent too. Both Selena and Harry have tendencies to take charge one moment and fade into an observer in the next...although, I think Selena is more 'hidden' and lonely than Harry. Interesting observations!
Author's Response: Y'know, I've been thinking about your Harry and Selena parallel, and I think that both characters are VERY different. In addition to my previous examples, I think Harry -- bless him -- is a lot more narrow-minded than Selena, and he is also very reckless. I think Selena tries to think things through, and if she doesn't, she is more likely to stand motionless than to charge heedlessly. Hmm, sorry about my rambling. :) Just had to get that out there, LOL. Thanks for the nice review!
OOOOOOOO. Snape has some anger management problems. Majorly.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review. *snickers* I'm not quite sure which Snape you are referring to, both of them being quite tempermental at times, but yes, they do. ;)
Whoa. This is so good. The characters really seem like they're real, you have that gift, along with JKR. Also, Selena reminds me of dear old Elphie.
Author's Response: Oh my gosh! Now that I think about it, they are very similar. I swear that wasn't the intent.... Well, I didn't even KNOW who Elphaba was back when I started this (last November, I believe), so I'm all clear. :) Thank you so much!
Wow, Snape admitted it all! It was unexpected, but still in character. Can't wait for the next chapter ( I really want to find out what happens to Selena!)
Author's Response: I knew I had to have some sort of moment when Severus and Selena came to trust each other...or, when they used to, at least. Thanks for reviewing!
The most interesting interpretation of Snape and his family that I've ever read...you're on my favorites!
Author's Response: I'm flattered, thank you so much! :)
This is great! Can't wait for the next chapter!
Author's Response: Thank you!