Wow Manju. That was wonderful. Really thought provoking. You made the story so believable that I will be searching the newspapers at August next year. Now for my favourite lines:
'What use is it to have the happy thoughts sucked out of a person, who is dismalness itself?'
How right you are......
'The moonlight would pour through the glass bottle, making the clear, deadly liquid sparkle.'
Beautiful. This tiny line explained the whole mood of your story. I loved it.
Author's Response: Christina, thank you, dear. :)
Sad. Tragic even. It's disturbing, and yet the reader can't help but feel for Edward. What's very good about this is that, though through the writing it's obvious that he's not exactly mentally stable, the thoughts and feelings can be followed and even understood. This story reminded me a bit of Edgar Allan Poe. I might ad that I love his work.
Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing. :)
GO BADGERS!! That was great! You really captured his character well with the way you worded his thoughts and speech. I think we are the only two Hufflepuff's with stories right now, but I think we have a shot after reading yours ;)
Author's Response: Thank you, fellow badger!! Oh my, are there just 2 Puff entries? :( Oh, I really wish we had more! Good luck to you! :)
That was an amazing entry to the contest! I think the judges (or whoever) will really like it. I haven't read any of the other submissions, but this sounds really hard to compete against.
You have extremely good use of vocabulary... lots of really good description appealing to the senses. Awesome job.
I think that lengthy author's note is needed. Not that your writing is confusing... writing it in first person is really effective to get to know how he thinks, and the note clarifies it for people (like me) who are intrigued by why he was acting the way he was. :)
I'm guessing you know a lot of about psychology... it's interesting.
Amazing job. He says he's not good at telling stories, but he is. Good luck with the contest (I was planning to write something, but mine isn't good enough after reading this.)
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you like this story! But please do enter! I always say that if you think your work is good, it is. Have confidence! I'm certain there are scores of out-of-this-world stories in the queue, but I still wanted to enter for my house... anyway, thanks again! :)