Great writting. I love the way you potrayed Tom. I doubt Harry would have compleleted this Triwizard Tournament. Cheers! Keep it up.
Author's Response: Duplicate?
Great writting. I love the way you potrayed Tom. I doubt Harry would have compleleted this Triwizard Tournament. Cheers! Keep it up.
Author's Response: Thanks, I appreciate your kind words.
This is so good! Oh my God! I really liked it! All the details you put in this story, it makes it so complete. We're feeling like we're participating in the Tournament ourselves. Did I tell you I like descriptions? :P
I have no doubts about the fact that Tom would have used the Unforgivable curses in the Tournament, even if he was still at school. He wanted this cup so badly, nothing could have stopped him from getting it. I think you described his thoughts and his hunger for power very well. Even if he was a young wizard, he knew what he wanted and how to reach his goals. In my eyes, that makes him even more scarier!
The scene with the sphinx was pretty enjoyable! I have to admit that I didn't know the answer to the last riddle... Good thinking you did for that part!
Author's Response: The last answer was "man". And I'm glad you enjoyed it so much. I enjoyed writing it. Thanks for the review!
That was a very interesting story. I find it very interesting that Tom Riddle was that ruthless so early in life. I would think that the professors would have found out about the unforgivable curses and put a stop to them, but then I think this was a Gauntlet story, so you had to get Tom through the obstacles. I know that the Centaur would have told about him using the Cruciatus Curse. Tom seemed to want to hide how much about the Dark Arts that he knew when he was in school. Other then those few thoughts about how unlikely it is that Tom would use Unforgivable while still in school, I really enjoyed this. I could see Tom out witting a sphinx. I loved how he got help from all the snakes. It was funny that he was put up against a Basilisk. I found that part very entertaining.
Author's Response: Thanks. I'm glad you liked this.
Wow! This is an amazing story. It is so great, I don't know what to say.
Every word you used was used beautifully, really helping me imagine everything that was going on at the moment. Every discription was awesome. I really like how you showed us into his mind, and his thoughts, and I love how he uses his smarts to get answers to these questions. That entire part was written with a great impact on me.
The ending was great, it really showed how far he would go for power and the win. Outstanding work! 10000/10.
Author's Response: Thanks for the fantastic review. I've always enjoyed writing Tom as a very angst teen who knows what he wants. He's my favourite character to write. Thanks again!
This was fantastic! It was so creative and original, and utterly believable that Tom Riddle might participate in a TriWizard Tournament. I loved reading each and every task, but especially the maze. You did a fantastic job describing each challenge, as well as what Tom Riddle was thinking during each task. You have a strong grasp of his character. Seeing him build up to the Killin Curse was particularly powerful. I also liked the lighter moments, like the Babbling Curse.
Your writing has a wonderful flow that makes it so easy and gripping to read. The poems and riddles were especially good. They gave the story a sense of depth, as did the many details you drew in from the larger HP universe. You must have put a lot of time and effort into this story, and I hope you do well with it.
I wonder if Professor Dumbledore would be happy to see Tom Riddle win the maze at the end; we know he was keeping a close eye on him, so a bit of suspicion on his part might be more appropriate. On the other hand, this story is AU, so perhaps you had something else in mind. :)
Wonderful job! I am so glad I decided to read this story. I enjoyed it tremendously. Good luck with your future writing!
Author's Response: Yes, this is AU because the Triwizard Tournament had been banned long before Tom Riddle was going to Hogwarts. Thanks for the review!
I'm assuming that the Rabastan that was killed was the father of the Rabastan Lestrange of Harry's time. Which means he would have had Rudolphus and Rabastan before he left school. Or, you could be changing history to complete the Gauntlet, which I completely understand, because I did the second one and I know it can be rough LOL.
You did a good job on this. I couldn't really find any mistakes, except for when Tom didn't want to harm the Clabbarts, I thought that was a bit out of character considering he killed the Troll and then proceeded to kill Rabastan. I can't really criticize much, because as I said, I did Gauntlet 2 and I know sometimes it's difficult because of the tasks.
Actually, after reading a Maze one, I'm glad I passed on it and did the Journey to St. Mungo's one instead. It sounds like this one was insane haha
Author's Response: Yes, I rather thought the first Gauntlet was a bit mreo trickey then the second, but I'm glad you liked it. And, actually, Rabastan isn't in Harry's time. It's Rodolphus that we see in the books. So I sort of just killed him off.
Wow - you're Gauntlet kicked mine's butt! Excellent job. I'm really impressed with the way you write Tom Riddle. You have a true talent for showing his character. Great job!
Author's Response: Hehe, thanks. I've hear that a few times, yet I don't know if I believe it. Thanks for the review.
Great job! I really liked the opneing bit:
The first task had been an easy one. As it was in every tournament, the task was based on strength. Originally, it had been to fight a Basilisk, but Dumbledore had convinced the Headmaster that the point of the game was not to purposefully kill the students.
Excellent use of humor.
I also loved how the story slowly got darker. irea lly didn't even notice till Tom started to kill things and then I was amazed how the change in the feel had happened under my nose. Very sneaky, very Slytherin-like. ;) I really enjoyed this story, although it was a bit long for me, and your characterization of Tom was spot on! Excellent job!
Author's Response: I thought it was long, too, but I didn't have anywhere that I could cut it. And I'm glad you liked that first part; humor isn't really my stuff but I try to throw it in occasionally. Thanks for the review!
Great story! Your characterization of Tom was great. You used just the right amount of cunning and evilness to describe him! I think it’s very safe to assume that Tom wouldn’t mind killing someone even while at Hogwarts, especially if it meant he would get the glory. That’s just how is now. He’ll do whatever to get the glory, and now, the immortality.
It’s an interesting idea that Tom would use Parseltongue to win his task, but it makes a lot of sense. Even as a younger boy, he already has control over the giant snake. I also thought it was a good detail to include that he doesn’t want to kill the Basilisk, as he thinks it’s a lovely creature. And the Herbology part of the third task was very cool!
So, I really enjoyed reading this! It was very creative, and you seem to have a love of writing about the Riddle family! :]
Author's Response: Yes, the Riddles are by far my favourite. And what you said about Tom Jr wanting immortality, that's the theme of my next Gauntlet run, which will be in queue pretty soon. I'm glad you liked this!
This is impressive. I would love to know how you came up with so many great ideas for the challenges. Blinding the snake, phew. The plant challenge would have been mind numbing for me, but you wrote it so well. When I got to the end, I was sure that Tom would make the "wrong" choice and relieve himself of his companiona (competition). The description of how he reacted to the look on Rabastan's face was eery. This is such a good description of what Tom would have been like as he achieved his precious power, bit by bit. Wow!
Author's Response: Thanks! And, actually, I found that many of these challenges were not as hard as they looked at first. But I'm glad you enoyed it!
Hi Cruciatus Love ;)!
This fic is superb! Now I know how lucky I am... and I guess you know too. Wonderful showing on your part! Oh and thanks a lot lot lot lot lot lot lot for... hey, you know what!
Author's Response: You're very welcome, Pooja. I enjoy betaing for you very much. And, yes, I try to focus really hard on "showing". Thanks for the review!
Ooh. Your characterization of Tom Riddle was wonderful. The way he used everything he had - illegal curses, Parseltongue - despite the fact that it gave him an unfair advantage was perfect. It's totally like him to have no sense of fairness - of equal play. He grabbed at whatever he could to win - because winning is all that matters to him.
The only line that I could find a problem with was: “Wow, I figured that out all by myself. I’m a very smart man, and cunning too!”
I can't see Tom saying this. He is definitely arrogant, but this sounds downright cheesy. It reminds me of the "I'm...too sexy for my shirt" song. Ick. That is not like Tom at all.
On the other hand, hte response he gave when faced with a riddle ("I won't get it wrong.") was very like him. It's just a question of confidence vs. tomfoolery.
The first line (I'm a strong man, and cunning, too!") crossed the line...pull it back over from tomfoolery to confidence, and everything will be perfect.
Author's Response: Yes, I didn't like that line either. But the thing is that I was trying to show during that part the trasition between him when he's in self-control and when that spell is effecting him. I hope I didn't overdo it. Thanks for the review!
This is really well written, Shay! You kept me very interested the entire time... great job!
I *love* the way you wrote Tom. He's completely in character, and it's great that you had his determination and thirst for power show through so boldly. I also like that you didn't make him Gary Stu-ish by easily completing all the tasks, but made it realistic while, at the same time, showing that he was already quite powerful for his age in his later school years. It's just a great balance of pre-Voldemort and average schoolboy.
This part made me giggle: "Oddly enough, the word that stuck out the most in his mind was ‘ink’s’. It could either mean that the bane belonged to or pertained to the ink, but he supposed it meant that the ink is bane. This double-meaning was simply another reason to dislike the English language." For some reason, it just reminds me terribly of you... like the grammar nazi!Shayla came alive. =)
Lestrange's murder has such a wonderful touch at the end. Again, it shows Tom’s determination to have power very well. I also saw it connecting a lot to the turnout in GoF, which is nicely done.
My favourite paragraph is this:
"This was just yet another lesson that showed Tom not to trust anyone. Even those that you think are loyal to you will use every chance they can get for a shot at their own power. Everyone had a lust for power, and it would end up being the destruction of them all. No one could properly learn how to use it unless they had lived life without it. That was why Tom could do so much: because he had once had so little."
Not only did it give reason to Tom's actions during the Gauntlet, but it also displayed his character perfectly. That small bit shows why he trusts no one, even his most faithful, and I could definitely see him thinking that.
Overall, Shay, this was simply wonderful. Definitely the best Gauntlet submission I've read so far. The way you write Tom is ace, and I wouldn't change a thing about it.
Author's Response: Thank you so much for all your wonerful comments, Steph. I also like the paragraph that you pulled out of this peice as being your favourite, as it actually reminds me a lot of you. Funny how HP characters can do that. ;) Thanks for the review!
Wow. First of all that was a really great fic.
Great job on keeping Tom very much in character. Killing the troll and then Rabastan seemed very much like something Tom would have done at that age. I also thought you did a nice job on the plot, and instead of just starting off with the maze, gave a bit off backround by telling of the other tasks in the triwizard tournament.
One of my favorite parts of the story was how you ended it. I thought you did a great job showing just how much Tom valued power, and to what extents he would go to reach it.
Another good thing about this fic, is how it relates to something mentioned in the fourth Harry Potter Book. I forget who mentioned it, but whoever it was, said that the last time a triwizard tournament was held, a student died, and in your story, that is exactly what happened, and it does seem very plausible that had the last triwizard tournament been held when Tom was in school, he would have been the cause of that students death.
All in all, great work. I really enjoyed reading this!
Author's Response: I was actually trying to get that effect when I killed Rabastan, but actually it said in the books that the last Triwizard Tournament has been over hundreds of years before. So, it couldn't really have happened, hence the AU warning. But I'm glad that I triced you into thinking that it could-- as that was my goal.
Thanks for the review!
My goodness, what an enthralling piece! Really, Shayla, you've outdone yourself here! =)
The first paragraph pulled me in and kept me reading, no matter how many distractions came my way [my sister yelling on top of her lungs; I didn't even look her way] which is a feat not many authors make. Sure, they can keep the readers reading, but for how long? Especially for a piece of this length -- all I can say is, fantastic job!
You use nice adverbs and adjectives which spice up the fic; your description is lovely. At first, I had thought the whole piece would be pure description but was relieved to find different alternatives -- the letter, for example.
But most of all, you've proved how ruthless and skilled Tom is, even at his age. How powerful he had been then, how fearless! You acquaint the readers with Riddle so splendidly, dear. From the First Task, to the last you have done a amazing job, to which I applaud you.
Author's Response: Thanks, I tried to make this piece more original as it was a Gaunlet submission. Personally, it's not my favorite fic of mine, but I must say that teen angst!Tom Riddle is my best character.
Thanks so much for the review.
Wow! I like this version. Better than mine. Anyway, I like how you took Riddle through the maze. He seemed in character to me. I loved the Sphinx. The final riddle is a human, right? Just making sure.
Author's Response: Yes, the final riddle is 'man'.
I'm glad you liked it. I had a lot of fun keeping Tom in character, but it was good for my writing. Although, I'm sure yours was quite good too. ;)