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Reviews For Awful Boy

Name: butter_beer_drinker (Signed) · Date: 05/22/08 21:52 · For: Awful Boy

The first thing I noticed was the warnings you have listed for this fic, I think you were overly cautious, just mentioning them really does delve into it but it is better to be safe than sorry. The warnings do make the story sound as if it will be a very dark one but with the lighthearted touches of Mrs. Evan’s it was hard to get into that mindset.

Ignoring the horrified gasp of her sister, Lily reached into the pouch she'd brought from her room, and throwing a handful of powder into the grate, leaned in to the resulting green flame and called, "Severus Snape!"

I love the way you captured Petunia here, I can see her sitting there with that ‘pinched’ look on her face.  The interaction between the sisters is very well done.


I also liked the interaction you used between Lilly and Snape but he comes across a bit grown up, more like he would be as the Professor and not a thirteen-year-old boy, however this is just my humble opinion.  It is a very good glimpse at what their friendship was like though.


I really loved your interpretation of how the Dementors were formed, it was a very creative and believable.  This area of the story was definitely the main focus and your in depth explanation could easily have been in a DADA class or book.

"Magic itself, Lily, is not black or white, light or dark, good or bad. The intent behind it may be, but the Lumos Spell has no more or less sentience than an Unforgivable. However, should you cast Lumos into the eyes of someone with the intent to blind them, that would qualify as a dark purpose, correct? 

(I have said this in a thousand arguments about the Dark Arts!)

Overall I really liked this, it would have been nice to Snape’s opinion on several other aspects of the Dark Arts and this line:

"One of the things I have learned, Lily, is that if you do not learn about something, then you cannot control it.”

Really sums up Snape and his interest in the darker side of magic.

Name: Cwiddy (Signed) · Date: 05/20/08 14:00 · For: Awful Boy
I have sat here and pondered all that is included in this story. I admit that a part of me believes that Lily could call upon Severus to help her with such an assignment as Dementors, but I'm not totally sure that at that time her parents would just allow her to take a boy up to her room. I also am not totally sure that Snape would want to be found in a Muggle household. He did love Lily, but he did appear to be opposed to Muggleborns being allowed at Hogwarts. He also was a Slytherin and if any other Slytherin knew about these visits, it may mar his character a bit. The characterization of Petunia was great though!

The many topics discussed here from Dementors, the Unforgivable curses, Horcruxes, and formation of Dementors is a bit mind boggling...and it would not surprise me that Snape would have this knowledge, even at that young age.

I do think that Horcruxes other then basic knowledge of what they were would be beyond him and I think that if he knew about them Dumbledore would have gotten information about them from him rather then from Slughorn.

Snape didn't seem to know that much about Horcruxes, at least in any of the books as I read them.

It was a very creative idea to have Dementors be born from attempts at making Horcruxes...and at first I was going to say something about them breeding...but you beat me to that punch.

This was a very thorough discussion of some of the darkest magics in the Potterverse and it has given me quite a few things to think about.

Name: Binka Fudge (Signed) · Date: 02/02/08 16:59 · For: Awful Boy
Wow, I always wondered where dementors originally came from. Your explanations were so full and clear too, I don't know how you came up with it. And the characters were so IC I could've been reading JKR. Why do such frightening things fascinate us so? I got a laugh at one point however when Petunia was hiding The Sun inside the Telegraph. Excellently written.

Name: this_is_mau (Signed) · Date: 07/12/07 16:46 · For: Awful Boy
"One of the things I have learned, Lily, is that if you do not learn about something, then you cannot control it. And if you cannot control something, then someone else can use it to control you" did you come up with that on your own?

Name: this_is_mau (Signed) · Date: 07/12/07 16:46 · For: Awful Boy
"One of the things I have learned, Lily, is that if you do not learn about something, then you cannot control it. And if you cannot control something, then someone else can use it to control you" did you come up with that on your own?

Name: this_is_mau (Signed) · Date: 07/12/07 16:46 · For: Awful Boy
"One of the things I have learned, Lily, is that if you do not learn about something, then you cannot control it. And if you cannot control something, then someone else can use it to control you" did you come up with that on your own?

Author's Response: Not *entirely* - I've heard the general sentiment before stated differently, but I couldn't be 100% as to how exactly it was phrased and therefore I don't know the original source.

Name: kumydabookworm (Signed) · Date: 06/02/07 23:20 · For: Awful Boy
Bah, humbug. *glares in Scrooge-like manner at story* *attempts to save the lovely characterization of Snape in her pockets to steal from CM and fails*

And this, my dear, is the ideal Snape. He's casually perplexed by the going-ons of the Muggle family that Lily is born into, which I find wonderfully good toward showing how different his home life is.

He's also formal, and a bit twisted - and utterly confused. He's chillingly honest about Dark spells being entirely dependent upon purpose and not words - but...he's wrong! Frightfully so.

Regardless, his own firm belief make it a delightful (and haunting) story to read. And I love the theories he puts forth about Dementors (your theories, really...).

To finish, Lily seems, to me, a bit OOC in this story. She's ridiculously light, fluffy and happy - a bit of a ditz, and canon portrays her as a smiling, but still serious and sensitve girl. I picture her as reading a bit more into the situation, arguing with Snape and what not instead of shrieking< "YUCK!" and "URCK!" and so forth.

Very, very, very nice Snape. *more Scrooge-like glares* It's very hard to capture for myself, though. *sigh*

*runs away with holes in pockets*


Name: VeniaTaint (Signed) · Date: 12/30/06 11:32 · For: Awful Boy
I absolutly LOVE your Dementor theories, you did an excellent job with this...also, the Lily/Snape relationship was done welll...though Tobias, who hated magic seems slightly OoC...relativly well written, a triumph, keep it up!
~The Tainted One

Name: FanFicFanatic12 (Signed) · Date: 07/08/06 9:49 · For: Awful Boy
The last line is awesome!

I love this one-shot. One of the first things that caught my attention was the relationship between Severus and his father. I really liked how they reacted to one another. I also like how Lily went to Severus. It makes sense that he wasn't a complete social outcast. And also that he knows a lot. I like the connection between horcuxes and dementors--very creative, yet it makes sense.

Excellent job! :-)

Author's Response: I've recently written a couple of stories about Severus' relationship with Tobias.

The Horcruxes/dementor's thing was NOT my connection - I was plot-beating with a friend, and the flailing of Lily's arms was *totally* a self-insert when my friend bounced that one off me. *shudder*

Glad you enjoyed it, and thanks for the review!

Name: MrTibbles (Anonymous) · Date: 06/28/06 20:02 · For: Awful Boy
This fic was very enjoyable to read. :) I have heard the theory that the 'awful boy' Petunia referred to in OotP was Severus. But I had never read a fic about it. Overall, this was very well-written and entertaining, but I do have a bit of con-crit.

As Severus is relaying all this information, he seems very bland. Like he is reciting a textbook (yes, I am thinking about Professor Binns). In HBP, he was very passionate when he spoke about the Dark Arts, and I missed that passion in this fic.

On that same subject, I must tell you that the story wasn't boring. That's not what I meant. Considering all the information, deductions and theories presented in such a short fic, it is very entertaining. This is the kind of thing that has a tendency to get tedious, but your writing kept me reading, for which I applaud.

The characterisation of Snape was spot on, other than that. His demeanor toward his father is perfect, as is his confusion to Mrs. Evans' kindness. The only thing is the use of 'Snape' as opposed to 'Severus.' I think that Lily would have thought of him as Severus. But that is just my opinion.

"Magic itself, Lily, is not black or white, light or dark, good or bad." -That was my favorite moment in the fic. Not only does that statement represent my personal opinion (grin) on magic, but it PERFECTLY in tune with Severus' character.

And though all Lily really did was commentate on Severus, it didn't get boring. Sometimes the reactions were a bit exaggerated, but exaggeration is preferable to no reaction at all. Good job with that.

All your theories on Dark Arts and Darck Creatures are wonderful. I especially like your view on how Dementors are created- until you mentioned the Dementors breeding, I was confused, since I thought that the Horcrux wasn't often attempted. But you cleared it up.

So, overall a very good read!


Author's Response: Thanks for the review - sorry to take so long to respond. My life is chaos.

Hmmmm - about your comment about Snape's passion, I think you're right, and I think that's how I tend to write him. I think as a rule I tend to write him overly controlled (which he is), but that tends to take some of the passion out of him. I'm going to have to work on combining those two, somehow.

Dark Creatures are taught in third year Defence, so Lily was probably thirteen or fourteen when this conversation took place. I don't actually think that her reaction was *that* over the top for a thirteen year old being told that something could suck out your soul. ;) Unless I'm missing something . . .

About the Dementors and the Horcrux - urgh. Lily's arm-flailing was totally a self-insert. That one came straight out of my cowriter for an historical fic I'm doing, and I was completely grossed out. :x

Name: fawkes_07 (Signed) · Date: 06/28/06 10:50 · For: Awful Boy
Wonderful! This is as cool as the how-to-carve-pumpkins post ;)

Author's Response: Hahahah, you know I"m taking your portion of that and incorporating it into the workshop I'm going to conduct? "Potato peeler, check!" ;)

Name: Accio_Brain (Signed) · Date: 06/26/06 16:30 · For: Awful Boy
Very nicely done. I'm a big believer that Severus was 'that awful boy' that Petunia was talking about in OotP. You've done a great job of explaining what Petunia overheard and how. I especially like that Severus was the one who essentially showed her how to protect Harry. I also liked the interaction between Severus and his father. It was very realistic. The relationship between Horcruxes and Dementors was explained very well and an interesting twist. Very creative. I wish this wasn't a one shot and that I could see more of Lily and Severus' relationship. I've been looking for a well written Lily/Severus fic and I really like how you portray them. The only suggestion I can make is to maybe split up the dialogue by adding some narrative details so that the speeches don't seem so long.

Author's Response: Hee, I'm actually writing a much longer fic, in which there will be Much!Snape!Angst! at having told Lily about that - but it is *completely* AU, because Jo says it never had happened before. *sigh*

Oh well. I'm also doing Ambrosius' story with a co-writer. It will have Horcruxes in it, but no Dementors, I don't think (there aren't any at this particular moment). Chapter 1 is nearly ready to be sent to the betas, and I'm almost done with chapter 2 to send to my co-writer so I'm quite pleased about that.

With regards to Lily/Severus fic, Vindictus Viridian wrote a multi-chaptered one that covers them having a friendship - a *close* friendship - which is fairly good.

However, I myself have a longer WIP in progress (er, yeah, that's why it's a WIP *_*) that will encompass some of Lily and Snape's relationship, but that's not the main focus of the story.

Name: BlondieFangurl (Signed) · Date: 06/19/06 15:27 · For: Awful Boy
Smart old Sev. I love him. Loved the story.

Author's Response: I do love me my Snapey, even if I'm not very nice to him sometimes. Thanks for the review!

Name: Kerian (Signed) · Date: 06/16/06 19:43 · For: Awful Boy
I like the idea that the two would work together, and your idea tieing Horcruxes to Dementors was super creative and original. One little thing I noticed was that in some paragraphs of explaining by Severus, the paragraphs seem very very long to look at, it might be better to break them up a bit if you could, just for structural appearances. Nice job though!

Author's Response: I cannot take any credit for the Horcrux/Dementors. That was all my Slytherfic co-writers. The arm-flailing by Lily? Self-insert mirroring my reaction. :P

As far as the paragraphs go, I think that's more because MNFF's story window is SO. NARROW. Because really, some of the other paragraphs are only three fairly short sentences long.

Thanks for the review (and sorry for the delay).

Name: ProfPosky (Signed) · Date: 06/16/06 6:57 · For: Awful Boy
Very interesting, and quite a cliffie. I will be following this one. I do have a question - Hermene invokes Abaskantos, and is then killed by AK...so, the spell itself does not kill you to protect the child, but allows you to "take the bullet" for it, so to speak?

Author's Response: Ah, quite perceptive.

And you are right. It invokes a protection for the child, but requires the sacrifice of the caster from whatever you're trying to protect the child from. There will be MUCH SNAPE ANGST! about him having even told her that to begin with in The WiP O' Doom (tm). There's a fic which accompanies this - basically tells the Slytherin family perspective. Chapter 1 is in "about ready for betaing" mode between myself and my co-writer of that fic, and when I read her version of chapter 1, I nearly climbed into my monitor with excitement. I can't wait until that one's finished. OMG. It's called "Accidental Horcrux", by the way (the story - there are four chapters). I could PM you or something when it's up, if you like?

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