Reviewer: Zara Ravenwood
Date: 12/05/06 19:12
Chapter: One-shot

You used a lot of lurid imagery here, and took what might have been a tired allegory and give it strong meaning. I was thrown off at first by the time line- that it took Draco so little time to get from where he was to the tree and lake. That's when I realized it was (most likely) a dream sequence, (though you never come out and say so- nice touch). My only criticism is the internal dialog didn't sound how I would imagination Draco, but that could be just me. All and all a well written an pointed fic.

Author's Response: Thank you! I haven't got a review in a while!! *hugs*

Reviewer: FeatherTrader
Date: 06/24/06 9:09
Chapter: One-shot

Wow, that was pretty interesting! I liked how in the beginging you had him wanting to be completly dark, to blend in with everything. Then, in the middle you had him conflicting his powers, unsure if this made him stronger or weaker than others. The end however was my favourite part when he finally stepped out of the darkness and decided he didn't want to be in the shadows anymore. He was still at loss, but at least he was out of the shadows.

I liked your idea for this, it was an interesting way to take on Draco trying to decide whether he wanted to complete his mission or not. Whether he wanted to take that kind of drastic move.

Author's Response: Thank you for reading and reviewing! It gives me bubbly feelings inside to get nice reviews that are more than a sentence long! :)

Reviewer: Orlaith
Date: 06/20/06 12:22
Chapter: One-shot

This is very interesting... I like the idea's you put forward here. Wandless magic is supposed to be difficult, but this seems like a magical ability - like being a metamorphamagus - and it definitely suits Draco's nature and character. I really like the way you demonstrated his torn state of mind - that he's arguing with himself certainly fits with the canon portrayal of his 6th year, and then how a the end you show the human part of him - his love for his mother and feelings for Pansy - it shows the uncertainty we as readers feel about Draco.

I definitely think you should consider carrying this on - it's got enourmous potential as a chaptered piece!

Really well done! I thoroughly enjoyed that!

Author's Response: Thank you very much! A chaptered piece...maybe...I'll think about it.

Reviewer: kumydabookworm
Date: 06/16/06 12:12
Chapter: One-shot

Here's your review in exchange for entering the In House Challenge! Good luck in this challenge! :)

The idea in this story - of becoming a shadow - was very novel and cool. I liked it a lot.

However, I did think it was a bit melodramatic at parts. I've quoted them below.

"They were what he was to become, what he had to be to fulfill his mission. He had been raised to know that one day he would swear his life to the darkness, but he hadn't thought it would happen so soon."

It seems a bit melodramatic that Draco is referring to the sides as Light and Dark. I like the poetic flow of your piece and the dark/light theme, but his thoughts don't have to reflect that.

You see, Draco, as you said, has been raised to do this. I doubt he thinks in black and white, dark and light, right and wrong. More in shades of morality, if you know what I mean. For example, his father killing Muggles isn't wrong because they dirty blood. If he viewed just right and wrong - killing is WRONG, but he views "shades' of morality.

Therefore, Draco's thoughts of "joining the darkness" and things like that feel a bit melodramatic to me. More like Star Wars than Harry Potter.

I like the flow of the piece, and the wording is very nice. I think you've written a great piece here!

Kumy

Author's Response: Thank you for the review. I understand what you are saying and I agree, but with this piece it was about the darkness and the light..so that is how it came out. I also used the word darkness because the word evil gets old after a while... :)

You must login (register) to review.
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
The Skeletons' Tale by Oregonian 1st-2nd Years
"A rose by any other name would smell as sweet," wrote Shakespeare. This story...
Autumn At The Castle by Oregonian 1st-2nd Years
The 'treat' of autumn's glorious beauty is inevitably follow by the 'trick'...
The Youngest Death Eaters: Year III by DestinyMoonStar 6th-7th Years
Year 3 A year of hard choices and tough talks: Destiny learns about...
FEATURED
Five Christmases by hestiajones 1st-2nd Years
It took four Christmases for Andromeda Black and Ted Tonks to get together...
Coming Alive by The owl 6th-7th Years
Leanne Gamp hadn't wanted to be at that party, even though it was Christmas...
Graves by Oregonian 1st-2nd Years
In December of 1997, Harry visits his parents' graves in Godric's Hollow and...
CATEGORIES