I think you've captured Remus very well. I particularly like the description of his house, most of which being left untouched. It's a as though it's not his home, just somewhere to exist. The house is a little like Remus himself in a way, neglected, only allowed the bare minimum necessary to survive. Great fic.
Once again you’ve impressed me with the power and emotion you show in your writing. When I saw the summary for this, I knew it was something worth reading after being amazed with ‘Prisoner’. Since you wrote such an amazing Sirius, I had to read the same time frame through Remus’s point of view. I quite like your characterization of these two characters.
I can see the difficulties you would face when choosing to write this sort of a story about Remus. We know he is one of the most calm characters in the books, so while reading about him losing control during some scenes of this story, I was impressed by your ability to write a side of him that we don’t see too often. The emotions you gave him were incredible as well as accurate. I liked how you showed the process of him grieving and learning to move on from a very tragic event. This tends to be something authors either avoid or get wrong when writing Remus, yet once again I was amazed by your character and how I really felt as if he was the canon version. Not only with his emotions and personality, but his looks as well. I liked how you mentioned his shabby robes and the flecks of grey in his hair, once again proving just how well you know the canon Remus.
He walks for hours, aimlessly, numbly, traversing the streets of London in a desperate attempt to leave behind the images of grey eyes pleading with him, vainly attempting to get him to believe their owner.
This line is simply stunning, especially after reading the same scene in ‘Prisoner’. I love how haunting you make Sirius’s eyes and how Remus can’t forget the image of them. You showed the desperation Sirius had with that last pleading look and Remus’s sorrow and disappointed reaction to it, which made a great addition to this story and it really brought out the characters’ emotions. I absolutely love this idea, and I like how you added it to a canon event. Fantastic!
He tries to think of other things, that he should prune the roses at home and that he’ll need to pick up milk and bread. Little, unimportant everyday things, that shouldn’t be hard to think of, but are.
This was an interesting way of showing how Remus tried to deal with the thoughts of the Potters and Sirius. I like this trait you gave him. I could really see him trying to push the thoughts of them to the back of his mind and instead focus on the small, insignificant things. He doesn’t seem like the type that is willing to grieve right away and instead just attempts to forget about what has happened. It’s a very believable character trait that you brought out in Remus.
Why? He wants to scream, over and over until someone answers him.
I liked how Remus questioned his life and everything that had happened. It seems like something he’d had bottled up for quite sometime and then, after seeing the pictures, just lost control. Bringing out these emotions in Remus is very difficult to get right. He’s so quiet and calm in the books, and it’s hard to even picture him losing control of everything like that. But given the situation, I think it’s definitely possible that something like this happened. After having such a hard life, you wonder how he can even be that cool and collected for so long. You handled the scene very well, which I applaud you for. It’s a very intense scene, and we don’t see Remus in too many emotionally intense scenes like this. You did an excellent job with one of the most difficult parts of the story.
Later, after he banks the fire and goes to bed, he decides that perhaps, after all, life can be lived.
This line was very uplifting after reading through all of Remus’s grief and sorrow. It’s great to see him moving on, and I really liked how you slowly let him get over the tragedies and deaths. He comes to the realization that life is still worth living at just the right time in the story. I like how you do show this, and despite everything he went through, he doesn’t drown in depression. It was important of you to show the moments when he begins to enjoy life again, so the story wasn’t just made up of angst. I liked this scene because it began to show Remus coming out of his sorrow, which was necessary for the story.
Just a couple of grammar nit-picks…
He wants to know Why.
I don’t think ‘Why’ needs to be capitalized here.
When another October 31st occurs, he only realizes it after the fact.
‘31st’ should really be written as ‘thirty-first’.
Your writing, particularly the characterization, continues to astound me. The emotions of the story were what really made it so great, and I like how you show them in such a poetic way. Every event in this story was accurate and very interesting, even though we already know what happened. I liked how you weaved your own details into it. You’re very creative in your stories, and they have a familiar feeling, yet they’re still original. This is by far one of the best one-shots about Remus. Another great story, Morwen!
Wow, I really liked this. You showed his emotions well, i wanted to cry. Really well written!
Wow! I loved how you captured Remus's lonely feelings well. You made me feel his pain. He is one of my favorite characters, and I really think you did him justice. You are a very talented writer (and bannermaker =D). Great job!
Wow, this is a really great one-shot. I especially likes the part where he tries thinking of happy memories, and when it makes him feel sad, he switches to unimportant duties, because that's so real, when you're sad, you don't really want to focus on what is making you sad.
And what was really touching was when Remus woke up and thought about taking Harry to the zoo, and then reality came crashing down around him. Frankly, I have never been disoriented upon waking up, but I've heard it happen to many. Anyway, it really shows how close he was to Harry and Lily and James; he was family really, he's Uncle Remus.
Those two parts were my favorites, but the rest of the story is amazing as well, very sad, and when Remus first finds out, I get the feeling he's just walking, not focusing on the details of anything, because nothing matters to him now, and I really liked that as well. Anyway, enough rambling, great story!
This is a very well-written story. I like the present ttense. You don't see stories written in the present tense very often, so this story was a special treat for me. I loved it. I'm always very drawn to stories about Remus after that Halloween. I think people forget how much he went through. He did lose everything. He lost more than even Harry did. *hugs Remus* Very good story. I liked it a lot. It has aided me in procrastinating eve more on my schoolwork. Thanks for that :) Oh, by the way, the banner for this story that you have on the forums. The reason I read it was because I liked the banner and just had to click it. Great story, my dear.
That was a very good one-shot!
I loved that you got the idea from right after James and Lily died. We don't really know what happened to Remus after all of his best friends disappeared, and you basically just told us, even if it is fiction. I actually got so immersed in it, like i always do when i get into a good fic, i thought that it was JK herself writing there for a moment. I love the way that you captured Remus's emotions. I also loved the way that you ended it. Remus lost his job, then Dumbeldore, in Harry's third year, sends him a job request, and obviously, from the books we know he accepted.
And Sirius escapes that year too! Genius. I loved it! Very good work!
`Thanks again for making my banners, i loved them and i can't quit looking at them!!! *squees*! (Even though i've said that... how many times now? *shakes head*)
Overall, a wonderful fic. I loved the ending, and it's going on my favorites.
Very sad and very good.
Very sad and very good.
this is getting really good!
Make one about when he meets Harry, PLEASE!!!! The story was AH-MAZING! keep on writing.
I think I may cry.
Oh wow! I really,r eally liked this story. It was wrtten so simply and yet so powerfully! You nearly had me im tears at hte beginning. I can see Remus doing everything that you described and I love how you chose these diffrent moments from his life. It's sad really, a very sad life for poor Remus. I especially love the part with all the pictures on the wall--it had such a strong emotional pull! Wonderful, wonderful job!
that was such a good story! i like how you described remus's feelings so perfectly, and how you made everything feel so real. definitely a 10/10 stars!!
Author's Response: Glad you liked it.