excellent story though there are quite a few errors and i think that you need to work on using more details and maybe try to organize the plot a little more. 7/10
THis is a terrible story! you can't write HP to save your life!!!!!!!!! all the characters moods were wrong, no one seemed to have faith in harry, people shouted things they would never say, i nearly murdered myself there was so much bad grammar! do the world a fvaor and don't ever write again! that story was really bad, i am disgusted, and can't believe you would iunsult JK Rowling by saying this was the kind of stuff she made. PLease don't become a writer! UGH! you are awful, at least go the humor section and don't try to be serious cause ur bad at it! (i know that was harsh, but my god child! this story deserves it, i don't think i'vje ever liked a story less.) 1/10
I think the best thing about this fic is how you change scenes so much. It's very much like the climax of a movie, but I've never seen it written. It was wonderful. The whole story was very dramatic, but very well in character. I really enjoyed how you potrayed Lavender as the maternal figure for the first and second years. Your writing style is well suited for the story. It was really sad that Harry had to die, but at least you did it correctly. Anytime you kill a character, make it very dramatic and sad. I really liked Lupin and McGonagall in this chapter; they were great.Mainly I like the theme of the last few paragraphes. About Voldemort being gone but all the worlds problems still not solved. Very philisophical. Wonderful job overall. 9/10
OK, this is my review for all the chapters....it was really, really well written. A masterpiece, although I quite hope that not all those deaths will occur. You crafted them beautifully, though........I especially liked the way you worked out Harry's. Also Lavender's thoughts on bravery were quite powerful. Beautigul story!
Author's Response: Wow! That is such a great complement. Thanks.
I'M YOUR 100TH REVIEWER!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHA!! I guess I get a prize now, right?? j/k couldn't help it noticed you were so close to having a 100 reviews.......
Author's Response: Thank you!! YAY FOR YOU!! Doesn't it feel great to be 100? I feel awesome now for having a story with 100 reviews!
Another great chapter. Until now everything has been perfect, but now I have one little tiny mistake. "she bellowed between 'Crucio' and 'Expelliarmus.'" I wasn't quite sure what that was supposed to be. Everything else was great though. People are still in character. Keep it up! 8/10
Author's Response: Thanks for your other reviews and this one. What I tried to say in her bellowing out two curses, was that she interupted herself, "I am talking normally--Crucio--I am talking normally again--Expelliarmus--talking again." It was just easier for me to say it like I wrote it though. Hope I didn't lose you there. Glad you like it so far.
I agree with Masked One, "The story remains very suspenseful." Though I think Dumbledore was great. His speach was wonderfully written. The decription of the grounds was perfect, and having the dementors come was brilliant. Your writting gives a perfect, detailed description in my mind. (Plus I'm listening to of song from the LotR sound track called "the end of all things". It really matches! 9/10.
Ek! I was to anxious to get to the next chapter that I almost forgot to review! You've got a great beginning here, and I really want to read more. I had forgotten about the house elves, but I'm glad you brought them into the story. Everyone is well in character, Hermione the most. I like how Harry had to stay - it's realistic. Everything is flowing very nicely! 9/10. (I have only once given 10/10, and that was the first fic I read ;)
I think I just died. *SHOCK* Wow....loved ur last paragraghs....ending makes sense but is tragic. It had to happen though, and I'm glad it did. For what use would Harry Potter be in a world with no evil? So amazing. That is another great story in ur pocket. Great Job. Sorry it ended though. Now I'll look into ur next story.
I know I'm late but I want you to know that I think your story is great!! This is an interesting situation for Harry and Voldemort, and it makes sense and falls into place. I really like it.
Wow!!!! What a twist!!!!! OMG!!! That is all.
Amazing. There are people dying everywhere and all the while the 2nd years are asking Lavender those questions. This chapter is very deep and the way you switch back from person to person has an affect on me. And all the while Lavender is trying simplify the complexity of their unneeded deaths to the 2nd years. Very deep and angsty. This is definently my kind of story.
AAAAHHH!! this was a great chap! I'm sorry I haven't been around but my 7 chap is done and hopefully will be up today. Now I'm going to R and R all of ur chaps!!
i am not talking to u! u killed harry how cud u!!!:'(:'( *glare* good fic though! wot r ur other fics called ill try and find them! keep going!
*sigh* (It's a good sigh). What does it mean when I stop breathing and my shoulders tense when I read the very first chapter of a story? It means you've captured the fear and anxiety to a "T." There are a few repeated "Rons" and "Harrys." Perhaps you could allude to them without saying their name every time? You've done the best job I've seen yet with capturing the audiences within the first bit. Most first chapters tend to be a little droll (even mine could be better...then again, mine's a 6th year fic). It seems ludicrious that Hermione is surprised to have an attack. Readers have been expecting this for ages*lol*. I'm supposed to be better than this at reviewing. So I'll give the rest a shot. You did well with capturing the characters. I have no complaints, except that Ron's character is chinsy in this chapter. I don't know if he simply doesn't play a major role in this story, or this chapter. The writing flows, as I would hope it would do (again, I wasn't breathing). The words you chose appeal to a universal audience. Overall, it's a wonderful chapter, and I'm sorry I didn't peep at it sooner.
Author's Response: Wow, this was a great review for me. Constructive yet complimenting. Nice work. I see what you mean with the redundancy of names.
HOW DARE YOU! HOW DARE HE! DO NOT KILL ANY1 SPECIAL LIKE HARRY!!!!! :@:@:@ you should make a sequil to this story when hermione wakes up and ron brakes the news and harry is watching both of his friends.
Author's Response: Interesting idea, but I am spending my time on other stories. I will look into the sequel idea though.
...fucking bastard (i don't mean you, i mean that S.O.B. who killed Harry). hopefully he gets to be sent to Azkaban, he did use the killing curse after all! anyway, here we are, at the end of all ends... has it ever occured to you that you could make a great writer? anyway, hope you write something else soon, maybe even something that doesn't involve killing Harry! ^^ Overall, i think this is a great fic and deserves 10/10!
You're a great author, loved your way of writing. My only question is, how could you kill Harry? You are a good writer though.
Author's Response: Why not? It is how I vision the books finishing. I know it was tough to read, it was tougher to write, but it was the only suitable way to end the story. Thanks, though, about the good writer part.
There are tears right now. I loved this story. You could write professionally, and I'm not just saying that. Your stroy really was captivating. Keep writng fan fic and I'll keep readng. ;)
Author's Response: I cried too! (hee hee) I am so happy you loved it, and I have not yet stopped writing fanfictions. I am working on a very angsty one that will be a bit like this, only in the Marauder times. Keep an eye out for that if you enjoyed this. As for the writing professionally part - thank you so much! That was a great compliment.