I love thispoem!!! It's so despairing, yet has amazing flow! This is a great poem... I love all of your work! And the last 3 (?) lines just stuck with me... When
evil grows, death spreads all
around us and then it will
truly be unbearable for us all. Such amazing work... well now I'm off to go read it again! Love, Bella
Author's Response: gracias!!! i love your reviews
cool! I like it, but it was layed out a bit strangely (is that a word?).
Author's Response: i think so but anyways thanks!!
this poem was so not what i expected. it's brilliant, and i love the last five lines - oh so true! overall - i love it!
Author's Response: thanks so much!!!
You know, that was great poem and sort of a life lesson. I am officially one of your fans! On the first two poems I read of yours I was just a girl who liked your poems. Now Im one of your fans! XD
Author's Response: THANKS SO MUCH!!!!!! I LOVE HAVING FANS!!!!!
yeah, okay, sorry i reviewed on all of your poems, it makes me look like a...nerd or something.... but i couldn't just NOT review on these! they're so good!
yeah, okay i'm going, i'm going! hehehe
Author's Response: The more the better!
This poem is really...well, I don't know how to describe it...it was really AWESOME!!! sorry i can't think of any real adjectives...that's just me for ya. this was really interesting! I loved the line "Never knowing
each others destinies,
never having a care in
the world for anything
I dunno why exactly, it just seems to fit the Death Eaters' personalities really well!!! Yeah, I recently just got into poetry, and then i saw that you had like really good poems, so i'm like, "yessss!" and yeah, i know i'm weird sometimes. But i really love your poems!!! 10/10!!!
Author's Response: Thank you! Your reviews are so awesome!
im not all for free verse but yours is beautiful. your word choice is powerful, a graceful sort of punch in the face.
Author's Response: Thank you! I didn't think this was my best, but thank you so much for this lovely review!
The fate of the light is forever
gone, as it should be.... That was my favorite line, by the way. It for some reason really touched me. This poem is sad and beautiful. It was really well done, and it had a trace of being mystic. I love that in poems. Good job, 10/10!
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad it touched you. I was trying to get that acroos in this poem. Thanks again!
Wow. My favourite aspect of this poem is how it all flows together. It really is wonderful. I can tell it is written by a Death Eater because it has that...eerie feel to it. Almost a negative view of life. I think that in itself adds a great deal to the poem.
My favourite line in it is 'The ties that should bond us together will never exist' It's one of those pieces that just makes you think about it for a long moment, really allowing it to set in. Overall though, I thought it was short and to the point, not to mention well written.
Author's Response: THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! Your review has been the best so far!! I just want to say that your stories are well written too! I sincerely thank you! -comewhatmay
Poetry is of all forms of fiction the most difficult to judge. Particularly vers libre, in which the author is not bound by strictures of metrum and rhyme. Even so, your poem reads more like a bllurb between narrow margins than a poem... I'm sorry if this sounds unkind, but your poem would benefit from using line breaks in different places. The way that the lines are broken up now doesn't do justice to the whole.Don't get too disheartened by this criticism . . . as I said, I'm not a very good poet so what do I know?
Author's Response: Thank you I will take that into affect. I loved your story because it was different. I like different stories. If you read previous reviews for this poem you would find that I reviewed for it myself and told everyone that this was not my strongest poem that I thought of. I am merely a nerd who enjoys writing, and reading HP fanfiction so I don't know much about poetry either.
This has a really nice flow. Which Death Eater is it?
Author's Response: Thank you! Well, I guess this could imply to any Death Eater,but I was thinking of Lucius Malfoy.
Hmm.... That was a bit confusing. It was nice and poetic, but hard to understand as a poem. There is a difference between being poetic and a poem. I, for example, am not really a poem person, but I adore poetic stuff. Just a little note, I suppose =)
Author's Response: thank you so much for reviewing! I love getting feedback!!
Oops, I lecture about grammar and spelling and then mistype interesting! I apologise for polluting your review board with badly spelt reviews and posting yet again to tell you this.
Author's Response: thats ok ;P
Hi comewhatmay, don't sound so desperate! I read your poem, and quite enjoyed it. I'm no poetry expert, and wouldn't have found this if I hadn't seen that you added my new story to your favourites (thank you very much for thatby the way). The rhythm is quite strange in this poem; there seems to be no particular rule governing it, such as syllables or rhyming. I liked the topic, and I think you got the mentality of a Death Eater very well. I especially liked the lines 'The ways of the one
is dark, cruel, and
mysterious. The ways of the
other side are unknown to me.' However, your syntax sometimes confused me. Some examples of this are 'As time passes, as we
all do'- do you mean in essence so do we all, or have I missed something?; 'The materials
that lie in between us no
longer heed to our attention'- I don't really understand what you mean by 'heed to our attention'. The only grammatical correction I can suggest is changing 'ech others destinies' to 'each other's destiny'. Also the repetition of all in the third last and last sounds a little strange. Overall, it was an intersting poem, even for a non-poetry reader like me, and I hope this review is helpful to you.
Author's Response: umm... thank you so much. I really appreciate the feedback and the advice. I know that this poem is not the best but thank you so much!!! oh If you interested i have other poems as well!! your welcome your story was very detailed!!
I know this is so selfish of me but i had to have review for my own poem (even though it sucks) but I'm sorry if you
don't like it. I wasn't even sure this poem
would go through but it did and I regret writing it but I don't want to delete it
because somebody might like *sarcastic
laugh* but thanks anyways.
Author's Response: I sound so stupid