This was his conscience speaking to him? Where was it before? Did Peter refuse to hear it before? hmm... Anyway, I love how you just illustrate what Peter so blindly missed. I hope he can read this.
Author's Response: It's a 'what if' situation. As I said in the summary, I imagined a scenario in which Peter's Conscience visited him a little too late on that fateful Hallowe'en night. As to whether he refused to listen to it before, or if it simply did not approach him, I leave it to your imagination. Thanks anyway, and yes, I hope he can read it, too!
This is a really interesting point of view to take, at the time of Peter's betrayal, and I you've made it really work - outlining the complete cluelessness. Some of the lines don't seem to fit the pattern you're using, but they do, and they flow.
Muy bien. I really like it.
Author's Response: Thank you for this thoughtful review! :)
Oh! I really liked it! My fav line was-Little Peter, friend-turned-traitor,
look at what you’ve done.
James Potter, mischief-maker,
and sweet Lily are both gone.
Good! Nicely rhymed!
Author's Response: Thanks, I'm glad you liked it. :)
Ooh, I think this is one of my favourite poems ever, and trust me, I read poems very often. I love the way you write it as if he is having a wise, elderly person speaking gently to him of his wrongdoing, and calling him "Little Peter" just adds to it. The fact that it's actually his conscience speaking to him seems quite ironic to me. They wording is simplistic but you speak in a manner that is just so lovely. I especially adore that you had the option of writing a one-shot for this, but instead wrote a poem. It portrays an air of innocence, even through his guilt, and I like that. And… *squee* it's free of punctuation errors! Many people write excellent poems but can't do the punctuation well... but not you. Anyway, I think this is very cute, and I think I just might have to add it to my favourites! Great job.
Author's Response: Oh, my! Thank you for this lovely review!
Goodness gracious! That was a very interesting poem, and I don't mean interesting like I have nothing else to say about it. I never would have thought of that idea for a poem. Splendid job.
Author's Response: Thank you, dear. :)