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Reviews For The End

Name: Lil Red (Signed) · Date: 07/29/06 18:54 · For: The End
I've never seen anyone do the last task in Cedric's POV. You captured Cedric's thoughts and feelings very well, and you desribed the settings nicely.

The way you made Cedric's daydream of how he would become the TWT champion seem just like Harry's seemed clever, or did you mean for that to happen? It showed how alike Cedric and Harry actually are, both being popular and liking the same girl.

The one thing I didn't like was how it was just like Harry's POV in the book. It gave the same type of thoughts and feelings that Harry had right before Cedric died.

I loved how you phrased the last sentence:

He let himself fade from the only life he had ever known, into the mysterious darkness of the night.

The way you desribed death as the mysterious darkness of the night made it seem extraordinarily mysterious and beautiful, yet intimidating at the same time.

Author's Response: Hm... you're right, I think I could have made his thoughts a bit more unique. Anyway, I'm glad you liked the way I described the death. The thing was, he wasn't really dying; he was already dead, so it took me a minute to figure out how to go about writing it. Thanks for reviewing!

Name: Emily_the_Poet (Signed) · Date: 07/29/06 18:45 · For: The End
This was a very interesting perspective on Cedric's demise. It put Harry in a good light as much as it made Cedric the fallen hero.

You did a wonderful description of his final moments. Yu always expect a valiant effort, but in your case it wasn't quite that. You did a wonderful Job.

Author's Response: Aww... thanks... (I wanna say 'Miki'?)

Name: kumydabookworm (Signed) · Date: 07/27/06 0:05 · For: The End
Now, this was really, really good!!! I liked your interpretation of Cedric the ghost-like specter more than the boy himself, actually. It was much more poetic. :D

Anyway, your use of diction and emotion was, as always, flawless. I do have a couple of points to make.

As the death is about to happen, your story seems to break down time. That makes me think of the Matrix and the slowed down action.

I don't think that's realistic, to be honest. I don't think your life flashes before your eyes when you die, or anything of the sort. It's too quick for the body to react.

I think it would be more poignant for Cedric to realize his death when he emerges as a ghost from Voldemort's wand, and deal with it while urging Harry on.

Just my thoughts. Again, heartwrenching piece. Simply beautiful.


Author's Response: Thank you! I love all of your criticism; it really helps me as an author! Though I do see where you are coming from, and mostly agree with you, I think I'll leave it as is. I wrote this a while ago, and to be honest, am done with it. But, I think you're right. It does seem like an unrealistic-slow-mo kind of thing. Thank you once again for your comments, and I'm glad you liked it!

Name: Dumbledore Prince (Signed) · Date: 07/26/06 23:40 · For: The End
Wow! Another good fic by lily_evans34!

The characterisation of Cedric was just too good. I'm thinking that it must have been easy to do. I loved the emotional depth that you showed, instead of the hollow character that many others project in their fanfictions. Thank goodness, this is not another playboy!Cedric fic.

The only thing I could see was the repitition of certain words and phrases in the last paragraph. You use the word "fading" many times, and the phrase "let himself fade" twice in two consecutive sentences. That distrupts the flow in a bad way. I'm sure you can change it to "disappeared gradually" or something like that to prevent dull repitition.

Congratulations on a job well done, despite flaws that can be corrected eventually.

~Dumbledore Prince.

Author's Response: Haha, repitition is always my weak point! ;) I'm glad that you liked my characterization of Cedric. I actually haven't seen too many playboy!Cedric fics. This is just how I always saw him. And thank you for the con-crit. I'll be sure to look back and fix some of the sentences that you mentioned. Thanks again!

Name: Aquilus Luna (Signed) · Date: 07/26/06 21:43 · For: The End
Oh, wow. That was so sad. In a good way though. I loved reading just how you Cedric felt throughout the third task. It was great seeing how he felt, knowing that victory was so close, and then the part when he realized he was the spare was so sad.

I loved how you continued to write how Cedric felt, even after he died. It was great to see how he felt as he watched Harry with his wand linked to Voldemort, and as he realized everything he had left behind.

I loved how you ended the story. The last sentence you wrote that goes, "He let himself fade from the only life he had ever known, into the mysterious darkness of the night." was such an excellent closing sentence.

All in all, this was a very interesting one-shot, and it was very well thought out and written and you did a wonderful job conveying the emotions and thoughts of Cedric.

Author's Response: Wow, thank you for reviewing so many of my fics! You didn't have to do that; I feel spoiled! Anyway, I'm glad you liked this! A lot of people have found it sad, but that wasn't really what I was aiming for when I wrote it. I don't know WHAT I was aiming for to tell you the truth, but I like writing sad stories, so I'm glad people see it that way! Thank you for the very sweet review!

Name: Periwinkle (Signed) · Date: 07/26/06 15:49 · For: The End
A wrenching portrayal of what Cedric must have gone through. You've set up the mood wonderfully -- right from the beginning to the end, making us readers feel what you wanted us to feel from the start. The anguish, the pain, the sorrow. The unexplainable feelings -- so many of them! -- that must have coursed through Cedric's mind.

You took a moment; a moment that was so full of emotion and unselfish actions and turned that into a fic -- and you did a marvelous job with it.

At first, I merely clicked on the link because the summary interested me and I wondered how you would pull it off. How Cedric felt in those last moments can be interpreted numerous ways. It's sad that he really didn't have any time to think -- to say what he wanted to. You're great at transporting the emotion to the reader.

Superb job!

Author's Response: Thank you, Anna! I'm so glad you liked it! Thank you for the comments; I'm pretty proud of the emotion in this one, also. It was the only thing that I had in mind when I was writing it, so I'm glad that it got transported to the reader so well. Thanks so much for the lovely reviews!

Name: jeudi (Signed) · Date: 07/26/06 11:04 · For: The End
I have never read a Cedric-centric story before, as, honestly, he's really not my favorite character. I really liked him in this fic though, because you could understand him and his thoughts. It really brings closer to his death, that you don't get from Harry's POV. I love that he realizes that he is going to die. I mean, I don't love that he is going to die, but that part was so powerful! In GOF, it just seemed so instantanious, and that was part of the horror, but here it fill it out to understanding, not just horror. Bonus Points for the original idea!
The one thing I would have liked a bit diffrent, was a longer bit when he first comes out of Voldemort's wand. I think there could have been a lot more emotion there, but overall I really liked it.

Author's Response: *sputtergasp* Cedric not your favorite character? How could you? lol, my best friend doesn't like him either; I've grown used to it! Anyway, thank you so much for the lovely review! I'm glad that you thought it was powerful. That's sort of what I was going for. And thank you for the con-crit! Sorry I was short on emotion in that one part. I'll try add more to it. Thanks again!

Name: Gryffinpuff (Signed) · Date: 07/26/06 8:43 · For: The End
That was a very powerful story, and very very sad! I think you captured Cedric beautifully, his voice and thoughts seemed right on to me. Picturing winning the tournament over and over in his mind, his thoughts just before he died, realizing what was coming and knowing there was nothing Harry could do to stop it. I loved his recognition of good and evil near the end, suddenly seeing Harry for what he really is (the savior of the wizarding world!), and urging him to hold on. I think the last paragraph was the saddest, with the imagery of fading into the darkness. *tear* I only found one mistake. Cedric says Harry is "writing" on the ground, and I think you meant "writhing." Once again, fantastic job!

Author's Response: No, I meant 'writing'. He's writing a secret message ;) Lol, kidding, I'll be sure to fix that! I never have typos unless I use the wrong word in its place so that spellcheck doesn't pick it up! Anyway, I'm glad that you liked this; I'm quite proud of this piece. Thanks again for the nitpick! I'm surprised that no one else found it...

Name: sunshine (Signed) · Date: 06/18/06 12:19 · For: The End
Wow...this is super-amazing. And that's an understatement.

Author's Response: Wow, thanks! I'm quite glad you liked it!

Name: Hermione_Rocks (Signed) · Date: 06/10/06 17:02 · For: The End
Wow, there are tears in my eyes. That was really powerful, excellent work.

Author's Response: Yeah, this was a bit more what I was aiming towards. Thanks for taking the time to review!

Name: googlebrain155 (Signed) · Date: 06/09/06 12:36 · For: The End
that almost made me cry

Author's Response: Really? I wasn't aiming for sad... I actually don't know what I was aiming towards. I just wrote it. Sadly enough, I like having the power of making people cry, so that's always a bonus, lol! Glad you liked it!

Name: googlebrain155 (Signed) · Date: 06/09/06 12:36 · For: The End
that almost made me cry

Author's Response: Double post :P

Name: hpgirlbizarre (Signed) · Date: 06/08/06 9:06 · For: The End
nice i never thought of it in his point of view. it helps people understand the meaning of how you should look in different points of view

Author's Response: First review! Yay! Thanks for your feedback, and glad you liked it! I really don't know where I got the idea from. All of my friends and me are fangirls, though, so I thought that I might as well write something about Cedric. Thanks for reviewing!

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