MuggleNet Fan Fiction
Harry Potter stories written by fans!
Reviews For Chocolate Kisses

Name: Nessarose (Signed) · Date: 06/10/06 12:33 · For: Chocolate Kisses
This story was short but sweet. I usually don't like shorter stories, but I REALLY liked this story. I don't even know how to express how this story makes me feel, so I won't even try; but I assure you that it is a VERY positive feeling.

Author's Response: Thanks you for your comments, I'm glad you enjoyed the story, and that I made you like a shorter story.

Name: pandafan81 (Signed) · Date: 06/10/06 12:00 · For: Chocolate Kisses
:) what a charming story! I'm an avid Harry/Ginny shipper. My favorite quote from HBP is the one about Harry's insides doing the conga- and the scene of their first kiss is just so heartwarming! Thank you for allowing me to revisit it in a new perspective! Wonderfully written!

Author's Response: I'm a avid Harry/Ginny shipper too, and my insides were doing the conga when they kissed. The idea for this one-shot hit me one night whilst I was trying to sleep, and I'm very gald you enjoyed it.

Name: Rob Matthews (Signed) · Date: 06/10/06 9:23 · For: Chocolate Kisses
Not bad! I'm not a big romance buff, but this was a nice, pleasant little story that makes you feel like you just drank a Butterbeer. You clearly have quite the handle on Ginny's feelings, I really felt like she was talking to me. Everything seemed so realistic, it really was amazing to see such a good portrayal of an older Ginny. Because she is so energetic it's odd to think of her aged and reserved, but you did a wonderful job.

My suggestion for your fic is to have it flow a little better. You can't waste words, but you need to have some nice adjectives to paint the picture to the reader. My imagination was able to take over for the most part, but as a writer you want to give your audience's imagination a path on which to think. It starts out rather choppy, perhaps you could have combined a couple of paragraphs at the beginning?

Anywho, I still think you did a lovely job. Your characterization and story-telling was great, and left a good feeling of catharsis. You just need to establish a better flow, but that comes only with more practice.

Awesome job, and stick with it!

Author's Response: Rob, thank you so much for that review. It's the nicest review I've ever had. I'll be sure to take you comments on board and hopfully improve my writing.

Name: ames angel (Signed) · Date: 06/10/06 5:39 · For: Chocolate Kisses
i think it was great soooooo brill

Author's Response: Thank you, I'm glad you liked it.

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